Quite Honestly

I can say this quite honestly. I was with my last girl for 10 years, and we where married 5 of it. I love her, I will always love her, and yes, I still don't understand the reasoning behind her leaving. I've gotten the annoying responses of, "it's not you, it's me", "I love you, I just can't be with you", so on and so forth.

So now it's just me, my son and my daughter. I work from home, I play video games to keep my mind off this, and try my best to spend time with the kids and be a active father. But every day I sit here while working and I think. What is the deal? She left us, says she loves her daughter which I won't rebuke, says she wants her daughter to come live with her, but she has no place to live, no car, no job, she has nothing. She left with her cloths, and I packed her things and let her barrow my truck to put it in storage.

I know she's staying with another man, and I wouldn't be suprised to find out that shes been sleeping with this other fellow, or others while we where married. How did I get so wrong, to choose this woman, who said she loved me, cared for me, and loved out family. Then without a reason or warning, she up and leaves.

I have a hard time letting go, and in total it's only been like three weeks sense she left, but I can't help feel this urge to move on quickly, just find someone to hang out with and get into bed with. Would that help take my mind off her? Probably not, but I am a man, and I do have needs.

I'm to that point that I don't want her to come back now, I don't want her to call me anymore, I want her to disappear so I don't have to worry about her disappointing our daughter with all the BS she is filling her life with. I feel rejected, let down, thrown away, and most of all I feel like I've been lied to for sometime now.