Rebuilding after a hard loss.

First off I ask that you stick with me on this. Its going to be long and its going to sound like a sob story at first. But read it all the way through and you will see that its not a sob story but I hope to be uplifting to many. And I will try and keep it short. But I can get wordy sorry.

I have been thinking over my recent love life and why I have beating the crap out of my self. But in order for this to make any sense I should go into the story of how far my last relation ship went and how it fell apart. And I will try to stick to the facts and keep my feelings to my self for now so sorry if its kinda dry. (And no I wont be using her name as I don't want to slander her name)

About 3 years ago I met the most amazing girl. Then again who doesn't think that when your heart stops beating at first sight. She and I quickly hit it off and we where soon very close buds. We talked every day and did all we could to be together. So it was only natural that we would take that next step and eventually become a couple.

Every thing was going great I was happy and so was she. We had our spats and some got bad yet what couple don't have those. But we survived them and grew closer. Till about 5 months ago I popped the question to her and she said yes. Overjoyed we got a ring on her finger and all seemed to be going splendid. Till about 4 months ago she came to me telling me she was with another mans kid. My heart exploded and our world was torn apart. But after about two weeks of hell and not really talking to her I decided to work on forgiving her after all she came to me and told me the truth and she was drunk that night right. So wasn't her fault right ?

Well you know what they say bad news travels like wild fire. Come to find out this wasn't her first time. And that she might not been as drunk as originally thought. She then verified all this her self. Saying it didn't mean any thing that I was the only one she loved. But the Damage had been done. So as of 3 months I have been single and healing. Now ready to give love a new shot and a little wiser.

But I spent three months in my own little hell. Beating my self up trying to make her out to be the bad guy from the start. But after some time thinking of it I came to two conclusions. If she was as bad as a person I wanted to think. Then why would I have dated her in the first place and why did it get that far. And the Second why was I beating my self up in our time together I never once strayed. Also I tried to forgive her to give her that second chance.

Then a third Conclusion came into my head. One that did scare me just a bit. But maybe we are meant to fail just once. Could it be our way of learning. Maybe now I know I can pick my self up from such a hard blow so that now I will take a chance on the girl that seems to be to good for me. What is she going to say no so what! I have been through hell and back oh look at me Im standing here in one piece and some how with a smile coming back to my lips. And now I understand how badly it hurts to be used by the one you love. So now I will go well beyond what is needed to make sure who ever I end up with will never feel that way. Finally I have learned never take the one your with for granted.

At the end of the day I have come to realize how we are all truly flowers in this harsh world. Think about it for a second. You look at flower and think about how beautiful it is. But have you ever thought about why a rose has thorns or why true Addle Vise cant be picked any more? Look at all your flowers and then look at where they grow in nature. Nature beats the snot out of them yet there beauty only grows more powerful from it.