Little Boys In Divorce (30)
snugglysenior: Once upon a time a man and woman got married. They had two children - a boy and a girl. Unfortunately, the four of them became victims of a divorce.
Often the children go with the mother and I'm wondering how does a little boy learn to be masculine if he's with the mother all the time, especially when the father is available only through visitation or in some cases completely absent.
Is masculinity something that develops as the child gets older or does a father actually teach his son how to be masculine or perhaps its instinct that will mature as the child grows older.
In this case the two children live with the mother. They see her cooking, cleaning the house, sewing, knitting, and probably going to work. It's natural for the girl to pick up on the domestic issues but how does the boy gain interest in masculine traits such as fishing, baseball, lifting weights, being a fireman, when he doesn't see his father at all.
It goes without saying that it is better for children to be with both parents but in todays world, it's not the norm.
Parents are role models for their children. If a boy sees only domestic traits, when or how does he learn masculine traits. Some of our best chefs are male, clothing designers, hair technicians, etc., which are typically female held positions.
If a father is totally absent from his son's life, how detrimental is it for development of that child.
Often the children go with the mother and I'm wondering how does a little boy learn to be masculine if he's with the mother all the time, especially when the father is available only through visitation or in some cases completely absent.
Is masculinity something that develops as the child gets older or does a father actually teach his son how to be masculine or perhaps its instinct that will mature as the child grows older.
In this case the two children live with the mother. They see her cooking, cleaning the house, sewing, knitting, and probably going to work. It's natural for the girl to pick up on the domestic issues but how does the boy gain interest in masculine traits such as fishing, baseball, lifting weights, being a fireman, when he doesn't see his father at all.
It goes without saying that it is better for children to be with both parents but in todays world, it's not the norm.
Parents are role models for their children. If a boy sees only domestic traits, when or how does he learn masculine traits. Some of our best chefs are male, clothing designers, hair technicians, etc., which are typically female held positions.
If a father is totally absent from his son's life, how detrimental is it for development of that child.
Most of my childhood was spent WISHING that my father WASN'T around!
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I never found it detrimenatal at all!
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Please don't get me wrong when I ask if it's detrimental to a son's development. That may have been the wrong way to ask what I'm trying to find out.
What I want to know is how does he learn to be interested in all those things I mentioned that little boys do.
What I want to know is how does he learn to be interested in all those things I mentioned that little boys do.
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snugglysenior: Please don't get me wrong when I ask if it's detrimental to a son's development. That may have been the wrong way to ask what I'm trying to find out.
What I want to know is how does he learn to be interested in all those things I mentioned that little boys do.
What I want to know is how does he learn to be interested in all those things I mentioned that little boys do.
Matey you havent worded it wrong at all!
I have 6 sons and I was mum and dad so therefore I took my sons to their sporting events and I had them in so many sports that they were kept very busy so they wouldnt end up street kids as I had to work to support my boys!
My house was the place that all their mates would pack my home full off laughter and banter and they never were embarrassed to talk to me about boys and guys things
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snugglysenior: Please don't get me wrong when I ask if it's detrimental to a son's development. That may have been the wrong way to ask what I'm trying to find out.
What I want to know is how does he learn to be interested in all those things I mentioned that little boys do.
What I want to know is how does he learn to be interested in all those things I mentioned that little boys do.
Social Services don't seem to be too concerned with that question. Their motto is " take and ask questions later".
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Oh my goodness - 6 sons - that's wonderful!
Congratulations on a job well done
Congratulations on a job well done
Mercedes1: Matey you havent worded it wrong at all!
I have 6 sons and I was mum and dad so therefore I took my sons to their sporting events and I had them in so many sports that they were kept very busy so they wouldnt end up street kids as I had to work to support my boys!
My house was the place that all their mates would pack my home full off laughter and banter and they never were embarrassed to talk to me about boys and guys things
I have 6 sons and I was mum and dad so therefore I took my sons to their sporting events and I had them in so many sports that they were kept very busy so they wouldnt end up street kids as I had to work to support my boys!
My house was the place that all their mates would pack my home full off laughter and banter and they never were embarrassed to talk to me about boys and guys things
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well ideal would be both parents
but at end of day i dont think it harms the child
then again lot of women i know more handy at diy than i am lol
but at end of day i dont think it harms the child
then again lot of women i know more handy at diy than i am lol
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According to your profile you have three children - two girls and a boy. I don't know how to ask this without offending you but I'll give it a try.
Is your son interested in sports?
Does he have an interest in fishing? He won't be interested in that if you aren't.
Does he try to emulate you?
Do you see him regularly and when you do see him, what do you guys do?
Is your son interested in sports?
Does he have an interest in fishing? He won't be interested in that if you aren't.
Does he try to emulate you?
Do you see him regularly and when you do see him, what do you guys do?
Marseilles: Social Services don't seem to be too concerned with that question. Their motto is " take and ask questions later".
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snugglysenior: Oh my goodness - 6 sons - that's wonderful!
Congratulations on a job well done
Congratulations on a job well done
Thanks matey
I love them more cause not 1 of those sons of mine left me with any road maps
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I agree, I don't think it harms a boy.
I'm just trying to find out how a little boy learns to be masculine.
I'm just trying to find out how a little boy learns to be masculine.
tallaght_guy: well ideal would be both parents
but at end of day i dont think it harms the child
then again lot of women i know more handy at diy than i am lol
but at end of day i dont think it harms the child
then again lot of women i know more handy at diy than i am lol
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snugglysenior: According to your profile you have three children - two girls and a boy. I don't know how to ask this without offending you but I'll give it a try.
Is your son interested in sports?
Does he have an interest in fishing? He won't be interested in that if you aren't.
Does he try to emulate you?
Do you see him regularly and when you do see him, what do you guys do?
Is your son interested in sports?
Does he have an interest in fishing? He won't be interested in that if you aren't.
Does he try to emulate you?
Do you see him regularly and when you do see him, what do you guys do?
Is your son interested in sports?
As a matter of fact, they call him "little babe Ruth", no joke.
Does he have an interest in fishing? He won't be interested in that if you aren't.
I don't like fishing but his little neighbor and neighbor's dad go fishing often.
Does he try to emulate you?
No! I want him to be HIMSELF which he accomplishes quite nicely
Do you see him regularly and when you do see him, what do you guys do?
I see him every weekend and, as my profile says, we do whatever HE wants to do.
And, your point is?
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I was a single mom with 2 boys with no other positive male figures predominantly in their lives... and personally I think that there are times that boys needed those good role models. Some are lucky enough to have brothers, uncles, grandads who take them under wing, but for some of us that wasn't the case.
Now my boys are not saccharin, ill mannered or insensitive or less than men at this point. But it would have been nice, at certain key times during their lives, if they had learned to fix a car or been taken to a ball game (I hate sports that my kids weren't playing in and even that was a penance
) or seen a positive loving male/female interaction. There were times when I wished a kind man could have taken them aside and given them pearls of wisdom from a males point of view.... some 'guy' rights of passage moments. I do think that they missed that. But what are the guarantees that the man in the house could give them that?
Has it made them less productive human beings? No, and my oldest is now a father himself and seems to be turning into quite a good one
. Does it have long term ramifications? Who knows? I did teach them to question what is considered the 'norm' in most anything, to think for themselves and take pleasure in the wealth of information gained from reading and most of all... that they are the captains of their ship, that how you see life and who you are, are choices that you make as human beings.
In the end I suppose it was a much more tranquil childhood than having constant strife in the household with a father who wasn't be capable of being a decent or respectful roll model, who was incapable of actually taking the responsibility to heart. My boys know I love them and will be there for them no matter what... and I think that is what is most important in the grand scheme of things.
Now my boys are not saccharin, ill mannered or insensitive or less than men at this point. But it would have been nice, at certain key times during their lives, if they had learned to fix a car or been taken to a ball game (I hate sports that my kids weren't playing in and even that was a penance
) or seen a positive loving male/female interaction. There were times when I wished a kind man could have taken them aside and given them pearls of wisdom from a males point of view.... some 'guy' rights of passage moments. I do think that they missed that. But what are the guarantees that the man in the house could give them that?Has it made them less productive human beings? No, and my oldest is now a father himself and seems to be turning into quite a good one
. Does it have long term ramifications? Who knows? I did teach them to question what is considered the 'norm' in most anything, to think for themselves and take pleasure in the wealth of information gained from reading and most of all... that they are the captains of their ship, that how you see life and who you are, are choices that you make as human beings. In the end I suppose it was a much more tranquil childhood than having constant strife in the household with a father who wasn't be capable of being a decent or respectful roll model, who was incapable of actually taking the responsibility to heart. My boys know I love them and will be there for them no matter what... and I think that is what is most important in the grand scheme of things.
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As far as Im concerned,Masculinity cant be taught and a boy cam live with 10 sisters and still be a rip roaring guy!
What about the guys who are gay but had all the things at home with a dad as far as fishing footy ect!
Its all in the genes and masculinity cant be taught I reckon!
What about the guys who are gay but had all the things at home with a dad as far as fishing footy ect!
Its all in the genes and masculinity cant be taught I reckon!
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Mercedes1: As far as Im concerned,Masculinity cant be taught and a boy cam live with 10 sisters and still be a rip roaring guy!
What about the guys who are gay but had all the things at home with a dad as far as fishing footy ect!
Its all in the genes and masculinity cant be taught I reckon!
What about the guys who are gay but had all the things at home with a dad as far as fishing footy ect!
Its all in the genes and masculinity cant be taught I reckon!
You reckon right, Mercedes1!
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No, no, no. Don't get insulted. 
I said I didn't want to offend you.... I'm not challenging anyone, just trying to learn something. I have a daughter. I don't know anything about boys.
I said it many times that "my point" was trying to find out how little boys learn to be masculine.
Responses from you and Mercedes told me that it's not important for a boy to always be with his father to be masculine.
Thank you
I said I didn't want to offend you.... I'm not challenging anyone, just trying to learn something. I have a daughter. I don't know anything about boys.I said it many times that "my point" was trying to find out how little boys learn to be masculine.
Responses from you and Mercedes told me that it's not important for a boy to always be with his father to be masculine.
Thank you
Marseilles: Is your son interested in sports?
As a matter of fact, they call him "little babe Ruth", no joke.
Does he have an interest in fishing? He won't be interested in that if you aren't.
I don't like fishing but his little neighbor and neighbor's dad go fishing often.
Does he try to emulate you?
No! I want him to be HIMSELF which he accomplishes quite nicely
Do you see him regularly and when you do see him, what do you guys do?
I see him every weekend and, as my profile says, we do whatever HE wants to do.
And, your point is?
As a matter of fact, they call him "little babe Ruth", no joke.
Does he have an interest in fishing? He won't be interested in that if you aren't.
I don't like fishing but his little neighbor and neighbor's dad go fishing often.
Does he try to emulate you?
No! I want him to be HIMSELF which he accomplishes quite nicely
Do you see him regularly and when you do see him, what do you guys do?
I see him every weekend and, as my profile says, we do whatever HE wants to do.
And, your point is?
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snugglysenior: No, no, no. Don't get insulted. I said I didn't want to offend you.... I'm not challenging anyone, just trying to learn something. I have a daughter. I don't know anything about boys.
I said it many times that "my point" was trying to find out how little boys learn to be masculine.
Responses from you and Mercedes told me that it's not important for a boy to always be with his father to be masculine.
Thank you
I said it many times that "my point" was trying to find out how little boys learn to be masculine.
Responses from you and Mercedes told me that it's not important for a boy to always be with his father to be masculine.
Thank you
Sorry, as you can see, little boys also tend to jump the gun
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This is what I wanted to know:
gininitaly: I was a single mom with 2 boys with no other positive male figures predominantly in their lives... and personally I think that there are times that boys needed those good role models. Some are lucky enough to have brothers, uncles, grandads who take them under wing, but for some of us that wasn't the case.
Now my boys are not saccharin, ill mannered or insensitive or less than men at this point. But it would have been nice, at certain key times during their lives, if they had learned to fix a car or been taken to a ball game (I hate sports that my kids weren't playing in and even that was a penance ) or seen a positive loving male/female interaction. There were times when I wished a kind man could have taken them aside and given them pearls of wisdom from a males point of view.... some 'guy' rights of passage moments. I do think that they missed that. But what are the guarantees that the man in the house could give them that?
Has it made them less productive human beings? No, and my oldest is now a father himself and seems to be turning into quite a good one . Does it have long term ramifications? Who knows? I did teach them to question what is considered the 'norm' in most anything, to think for themselves and take pleasure in the wealth of information gained from reading and most of all... that they are the captains of their ship, that how you see life and who you are, are choices that you make as human beings.
In the end I suppose it was a much more tranquil childhood than having constant strife in the household with a father who wasn't be capable of being a decent or respectful roll model, who was incapable of actually taking the responsibility to heart. My boys know I love them and will be there for them no matter what... and I think that is what is most important in the grand scheme of things.
Now my boys are not saccharin, ill mannered or insensitive or less than men at this point. But it would have been nice, at certain key times during their lives, if they had learned to fix a car or been taken to a ball game (I hate sports that my kids weren't playing in and even that was a penance ) or seen a positive loving male/female interaction. There were times when I wished a kind man could have taken them aside and given them pearls of wisdom from a males point of view.... some 'guy' rights of passage moments. I do think that they missed that. But what are the guarantees that the man in the house could give them that?
Has it made them less productive human beings? No, and my oldest is now a father himself and seems to be turning into quite a good one . Does it have long term ramifications? Who knows? I did teach them to question what is considered the 'norm' in most anything, to think for themselves and take pleasure in the wealth of information gained from reading and most of all... that they are the captains of their ship, that how you see life and who you are, are choices that you make as human beings.
In the end I suppose it was a much more tranquil childhood than having constant strife in the household with a father who wasn't be capable of being a decent or respectful roll model, who was incapable of actually taking the responsibility to heart. My boys know I love them and will be there for them no matter what... and I think that is what is most important in the grand scheme of things.
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That's okay - no problem 
Marseilles: Sorry, as you can see, little boys also tend to jump the gun
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Snuggly I wasnt jumping on you so Im sorry if I made you feel that way
gininitaly succeeded as a single mum and is one of many that was fortunate as I and many other single mums have been
gininitaly succeeded as a single mum and is one of many that was fortunate as I and many other single mums have been
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Often the children go with the mother and I'm wondering how does a little boy learn to be masculine if he's with the mother all the time, especially when the father is available only through visitation or in some cases completely absent.
Is masculinity something that develops as the child gets older or does a father actually teach his son how to be masculine or perhaps its instinct that will mature as the child grows older.
In this case the two children live with the mother. They see her cooking, cleaning the house, sewing, knitting, and probably going to work. It's natural for the girl to pick up on the domestic issues but how does the boy gain interest in masculine traits such as fishing, baseball, lifting weights, being a fireman, when he doesn't see his father at all.
It goes without saying that it is better for children to be with both parents but in todays world, it's not the norm.
Parents are role models for their children. If a boy sees only domestic traits, when or how does he learn masculine traits. Some of our best chefs are male, clothing designers, hair technicians, etc., which are typically female held positions.
If a father is totally absent from his son's life, how detrimental is it for development of that child.