some advice please ( Archived) (8)

hi all

i have been a single mam for over a year. my 4 year old daughter sees her dad nearly everyday and we are still friends. however he has a new girlfriend and recently i keep finding things out about her that arent so good.
let me just say i'm not out to cause her any trouble and i have no problem with her cause i dont know her to be honest but she took a dislike to me because me and my ex still get on and he has a good relationship with kirsty as opposed to her ex and thier child.

1. she invited me into her house one evening when i was picking up my little girl offered me tea and we were chatting getting on fine. next day she gave me ex hassle about me coming into the house, a few weeks down the line it turns out the only reason she asked me in was to get some legal advice cause she had an accident.

2. I thought she only had one child (18months) i found out by accident that she actually has 3 the two eldest are in care.

3. i work for a law firm and was in court today and she was up for something not so good.

i found out the last two by accident and i am just wondering if any other parents out there have had similar experiences. i am dealing with this in my own way so am just looking to see how other people dealt with it.

i can't bring up the court thing to her or anyone else cause there are confidentiality issues and basically i could lose my job but i am pretty sure it will be in the local paper next week.

i did warn my ex (in a nice way, cause i am not a vicious person or nasty like that) that if i found out anything else there would be consiquences so to tell me now but he promised there was nothing else.

any helpful advice would be great
and thanks for letting me rant on :)

Kaz! That's alot on one plate right now. I'm sorry but that's one road I've never been down. I do hope everything works about the best for your child.


Merky

Please be careful what you say on here if you work in the legal prof and there are current court cases going on....

I would have a long chat with your ex if you are concerned with your daughter's well being in this females presence and stress to your ex he must be with his daughter at all times when she is around....

Not sure what I would do if it were me,but I can see you so far have handled it better than I would...I myself have never had to deal with anything like that...Best of luck to you...

DITTO!!!!

That is heavy, even without details.

Keep your job...But if your child could be in any danger? then do what you must to protect your daughter! you can always get another job.

Easy opinion from the computer chair.

Good luck

hey everyone thanks for the advice.

i didnt meantion names or locations because i know the consiquences but it dosent matter now cause i am being made redundant in the next 4 weeks.

anyways thanks everyone, i have tried to talk to him since that but he is always with her and wont talk to me cause she basically gives out hell to him for talking to me. its his life and its his decision i just hope he sees the light sooner rather than later.

we will see what happens on wednesday when the local paper comes out cause it will probably be in that and then his family will know so we will see. as my friend told me the other day just disconnect from her your daughter is more inportant and if the worst comes to the worst he will just have to start coming down to my house to see her.

as for the lack of job i will get redundancy money so may well just take me and my wee one off on holiday to visit family in france for a bit then decide what i am doing if i have not found a job since then. i am blessed that my ex's dad and sister still get on with me well and are very helpful and supportive so there are positives in all of this.

thanks everyone :) i am away out tonight to celebrate being happy he he