what happened to a man's pride (16)
caspatchgalena, Missouri USA83 Threads 1 Polls 3,832 Postsi don't know what is happening to the American male. i was raised to be head of household as far as support goes. even way before the economy took a nose dive i know of to many men that want to lay around and let a woman support him. nine out of ten times they aren't even married. i know of a case where he hasn't worked in over three years but is always moaning about how bad he feels. i contribute this to not enough ambition to get off the couch and do something. LADIES DON'T BE AN ENABLER make him get up and look for work at least. if he don't work he don't eat. men take a little pride in yourself be a man and at least try to provide for your mate and family.
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caspatch: i don't know what is happening to the American male. i was raised to be head of household as far as support goes. even way before the economy took a nose dive i know of to many men that want to lay around and let a woman support him. nine out of ten times they aren't even married. i know of a case where he hasn't worked in over three years but is always moaning about how bad he feels. i contribute this to not enough ambition to get off the couch and do something. LADIES DON'T BE AN ENABLER make him get up and look for work at least. if he don't work he don't eat. men take a little pride in yourself be a man and at least try to provide for your mate and family.
I don't know I sure have found many that don't want to work or is planning on stopping working as soon as he finds the right woman. So I think by that they mean has enough money to support him and his extras.
I have learned to not put up with a lazy butt man.
Good thread 
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mylifewithu: I don't know I sure have found many that don't want to work or is planning on stopping working as soon as he finds the right woman. So I think by that they mean has enough money to support him and his extras.
I have learned to not put up with a lazy butt man. Good thread
thanks i just had to let off a little steam as it is degrading of a woman who is being used for a meal ticket. let them lose their income and see how quick they leaveI have learned to not put up with a lazy butt man. Good thread
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caspatch: i don't know what is happening to the American male. i was raised to be head of household as far as support goes. even way before the economy took a nose dive i know of to many men that want to lay around and let a woman support him. nine out of ten times they aren't even married. i know of a case where he hasn't worked in over three years but is always moaning about how bad he feels. i contribute this to not enough ambition to get off the couch and do something. LADIES DON'T BE AN ENABLER make him get up and look for work at least. if he don't work he don't eat. men take a little pride in yourself be a man and at least try to provide for your mate and family.
I agree...I think both partners should support each other...unless they choose otherwise for one to stay home and raise the kids should they be able to afford to do sooooooo...This day in age though to make ends meet and be comfortable...It pretty much takes 2 incomes....Anytime there is an imbalance like that in the relationship it's not gonna work if it's not by choice....It's just common sense....
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caspatch: thanks i just had to let off a little steam as it is degrading of a woman who is being used for a meal ticket. let them lose their income and see how quick they leave
In my long term marriage, together we figured the cost of day care for the children we planned to have, and found it much cheaper for me to stay home and raise them and take care of the place. It worked great cause we planned it out. And with the help of tax deductions we did very well on one income, but he did make good money. My husband never felt I wasn't holding up my end. Cause I was more a traditional wife, I believe that since he worked and was exhausted I never asked for him to do things during the week.
On weekends he did his chores and held up his part. But yet once in awhile we just took off for the weekend to go camping and forget the chores.
Life has to be fun too.------ This thread is Archived ------
mylifewithu: In my long term marriage, together we figured the cost of day care for the children we planned to have, and found it much cheaper for me to stay home and raise them and take care of the place.
It worked great cause we planned it out. And with the help of tax deductions we did very well on one income, but he did make good money. My husband never felt I wasn't holding up my end. Cause I was more a traditional wife, I believe that since he worked and was exhausted I never asked for him to do things during the week.
On weekends he did his chores and held up his part. But yet once in awhile we just took off for the weekend to go camping and forget the chores. Life has to be fun too.
as it should be. did he lie non the couch and holler at the kids get me this or get me that? what is sad he is doing that to her kids and living off her child support plus her income, he don't go withoutIt worked great cause we planned it out. And with the help of tax deductions we did very well on one income, but he did make good money. My husband never felt I wasn't holding up my end. Cause I was more a traditional wife, I believe that since he worked and was exhausted I never asked for him to do things during the week.
On weekends he did his chores and held up his part. But yet once in awhile we just took off for the weekend to go camping and forget the chores. Life has to be fun too.
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I have NO TOLERANCE for a lazy man that is more than able to work and won't!
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caspatch: i don't know what is happening to the American male. i was raised to be head of household as far as support goes. even way before the economy took a nose dive i know of to many men that want to lay around and let a woman support him. nine out of ten times they aren't even married. i know of a case where he hasn't worked in over three years but is always moaning about how bad he feels. i contribute this to not enough ambition to get off the couch and do something. LADIES DON'T BE AN ENABLER make him get up and look for work at least. if he don't work he don't eat. men take a little pride in yourself be a man and at least try to provide for your mate and family.
Caspatch, I have to agree with you on this one. My second husband, and the father of my sons, hasn't worked in 16 years. He injured his back two weeks after we got married, with our first son on the way. I ended up being the sole support for our family, and when we finally split that was a family of four.
He said his back hurt too much, had to lean against a building for support to sneeze and cough, and couldn't maintain any position for more than a few minutes at a time. Ended up sleeping on couch cushions on the living room floor because he said it felt better for his back, and because he didn't want to disturb me by waking up so often in the night.
However, he could install a porch, replace all of the windows, and do the roof on his mother's house in just one summer, and lift a large block 350 engine out of a car by hand...not with the aid of a hoist. But his back hurt too much to work.
I only wish I'd taken pictures then. Worker's comp would have loved it. He was still fighting to get disability then. That was right before our divorce.Now, after all of these years, he's finally talking about getting a job.
Why, because he knows the boys are tired of living at his mother's overcrowded house with her and their aunt (yes, one of his sisters has now moved back home), so before they move in with me, he wants to try to move out of there.------ This thread is Archived ------
druidess6308: Caspatch, I have to agree with you on this one. My second husband, and the father of my sons, hasn't worked in 16 years. He injured his back two weeks after we got married, with our first son on the way. I ended up being the sole support for our family, and when we finally split that was a family of four.
He said his back hurt too much, had to lean against a building for support to sneeze and cough, and couldn't maintain any position for more than a few minutes at a time. Ended up sleeping on couch cushions on the living room floor because he said it felt better for his back, and because he didn't want to disturb me by waking up so often in the night.
However, he could install a porch, replace all of the windows, and do the roof on his mother's house in just one summer, and lift a large block 350 engine out of a car by hand...not with the aid of a hoist. But his back hurt too much to work. I only wish I'd taken pictures then. Worker's comp would have loved it. He was still fighting to get disability then. That was right before our divorce.
Now, after all of these years, he's finally talking about getting a job. Why, because he knows the boys are tired of living at his mother's overcrowded house with her and their aunt (yes, one of his sisters has now moved back home), so before they move in with me, he wants to try to move out of there.
i rest my caseHe said his back hurt too much, had to lean against a building for support to sneeze and cough, and couldn't maintain any position for more than a few minutes at a time. Ended up sleeping on couch cushions on the living room floor because he said it felt better for his back, and because he didn't want to disturb me by waking up so often in the night.
However, he could install a porch, replace all of the windows, and do the roof on his mother's house in just one summer, and lift a large block 350 engine out of a car by hand...not with the aid of a hoist. But his back hurt too much to work. I only wish I'd taken pictures then. Worker's comp would have loved it. He was still fighting to get disability then. That was right before our divorce.
Now, after all of these years, he's finally talking about getting a job. Why, because he knows the boys are tired of living at his mother's overcrowded house with her and their aunt (yes, one of his sisters has now moved back home), so before they move in with me, he wants to try to move out of there.
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caspatch: as it should be. did he lie non the couch and holler at the kids get me this or get me that? what is sad he is doing that to her kids and living off her child support plus her income, he don't go without
Well when he wasn't working yeah he yelled at the kids a lot, and at one point he grabbed our very young son and started beating him, I put a stop to that crap.But Mine did expect everyone to fetch for him cause he worked. Heck when I worked I still had to come home clean house cook dinner, and laundry, well he didn't do anything but mow the lawn and take out the trash once aweek. It was pretty lop sided then.
We should have been working together on the home chores when we both worked.------ This thread is Archived ------
mylifewithu: Well when he wasn't working yeah he yelled at the kids a lot, and at one point he grabbed our very young son and started beating him, I put a stop to that crap.
But Mine did expect everyone to fetch for him cause he worked. Heck when I worked I still had to come home clean house cook dinner, and laundry, well he didn't do anything but mow the lawn and take out the trash once aweek. It was pretty lop sided then. We should have been working together on the home chores when we both worked.
how long did it take you to wake up? i worked two jobs most of my married life, after the kids were older my wife wanted to go to work, i told her if she did that was her money. same when i got married again. i still managed to get my home chores doneBut Mine did expect everyone to fetch for him cause he worked. Heck when I worked I still had to come home clean house cook dinner, and laundry, well he didn't do anything but mow the lawn and take out the trash once aweek. It was pretty lop sided then. We should have been working together on the home chores when we both worked.
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I have no tolerance for lazy anyone! Laziness is not a disease. It's a symptom of a lazy mind.
I've worked all my life, and I certainly don't expect anyone to support me, but like Hugz and others have stated both need to support each other whether it's if they both work or one stays home and keeps the children and home. Of course, at my age, that doesn't matter anymore!
I've worked all my life, and I certainly don't expect anyone to support me, but like Hugz and others have stated both need to support each other whether it's if they both work or one stays home and keeps the children and home. Of course, at my age, that doesn't matter anymore!
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working together because life is a team sport . OOHRAH!!!!
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caspatch: how long did it take you to wake up? i worked two jobs most of my married life, after the kids were older my wife wanted to go to work, i told her if she did that was her money. same when i got married again. i still managed to get my home chores done
It rather quick in the end probable a couple weeks. But unfortunately my husband was a good manipulator and intimidator and so was his dad a M.D. with money to back him, I had them both after me.
And was told if I divorced I wouldn't get my kids or the house. Or anything. So I was forced to walk away. But I spent 5 years in courts and working to clean my lawyers house to keep the battle up and I finally won. It cost the doctor more money to hold out the fight that long than it did for me. I lost material things and 5 years out of my kids lives, but I won in the end.
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mylifewithu: It rather quick in the end probable a couple weeks.
But unfortunately my husband was a good manipulator and intimidator and so was his dad a M.D. with money to back him, I had them both after me.
And was told if I divorced I wouldn't get my kids or the house. Or anything. So I was forced to walk away. But I spent 5 years in courts and working to clean my lawyers house to keep the battle up and I finally won. It cost the doctor more money to hold out the fight that long than it did for me. I lost material things and 5 years out of my kids lives, but I won in the end.
i'm glad to hear it worked out for you.i worked for an Italian family in a liquor store and when the son got divorced he came back all happy with the judges decision, his dad walked in and after he heard what the settlement was he said he did not care what the courts said, the son was told he had to sign the house over to his ex and hie dad made him pay over double the court ordered child support. another man's man from the old country.But unfortunately my husband was a good manipulator and intimidator and so was his dad a M.D. with money to back him, I had them both after me.
And was told if I divorced I wouldn't get my kids or the house. Or anything. So I was forced to walk away. But I spent 5 years in courts and working to clean my lawyers house to keep the battle up and I finally won. It cost the doctor more money to hold out the fight that long than it did for me. I lost material things and 5 years out of my kids lives, but I won in the end.
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caspatch: i'm glad to hear it worked out for you.i worked for an Italian family in a liquor store and when the son got divorced he came back all happy with the judges decision, his dad walked in and after he heard what the settlement was he said he did not care what the courts said, the son was told he had to sign the house over to his ex and hie dad made him pay over double the court ordered child support. another man's man from the old country.
Wow that he was. ------ This thread is Archived ------
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