Hi! This is my first thread and would like to know what you think about the subject: Have you ever dated someone with a young child who still lives with the person you're dating and did it work? If you still do, is it creating any problem? How do you deal with it?
tainogirlTrincity,West Indies,, Trinidad and Tobago3,777 posts
Amaryllis: Hi! This is my first thread and would like to know what you think about the subject: Have you ever dated someone with a young child who still lives with the person you're dating and did it work? If you still do, is it creating any problem? How do you deal with it?
Hi Amaryllis, well I am on the other side of the coin, I am single person with a young child. Speaking from a parents point of view I would want whoever is dating me to know that my daughter and I are a package deal. My decisions on who I bring into her life will affect her. Dating someone with a child may not be for everyone but there are still some brave souls who don't see it as a problem.
tainogirl: Hi Amaryllis, well I am on the other side of the coin, I am single person with a young child. Speaking from a parents point of view I would want whoever is dating me to know that my daughter and I are a package deal. My decisions on who I bring into her life will affect her. Dating someone with a child may not be for everyone but there are still some brave souls who don't see it as a problem.
Well, I originally did not see it as a problem either, until I dated one. In fact, I was so glad to find a guy I really liked who was just a few years younger than I and he had a cute young boy I would have liked to treat as my own as I don't have one. Only the boy got so jealous of his father's attention to me and he was so attached to his mom. I finally decided to call it quits.. I did not know how to deal with it.
tainogirlTrincity,West Indies,, Trinidad and Tobago3,777 posts
Amaryllis: Well, I originally did not see it as a problem either, until I dated one. In fact, I was so glad to find a guy I really liked who was just a few years younger than I and he had a cute young boy I would have liked to treat as my own as I don't have one. Only the boy got so jealous of his father's attention to me and he was so attached to his mom. I finally decided to call it quits.. I did not know how to deal with it.
Well children are always going to be attached to their parents, some children do not adapt readily to change especially if parents separate and they were close to both. They have to be gently eased into these situations. I have not had to face this yet, but I suppose someday I will. Best to go cautiously I think and it helps if the one with the child helps to ease things along instead of trying to force a situation. It takes patience on the part of the new person entering the relationship as well. Sorry to hear it did not work out.
tainogirl: Well children are always going to be attached to their parents, some children do not adapt readily to change especially if parents separate and they were close to both. They have to be gently eased into these situations. I have not had to face this yet, but I suppose someday I will. Best to go cautiously I think and it helps if the one with the child helps to ease things along instead of trying to force a situation. It takes patience on the part of the new person entering the relationship as well. Sorry to hear it did not work out.
Thanks, Tainogirl, and hi again! It's also partly my fault - I did not have patience to wait for him to ease things along. I figured a child is entitled to his parent's full attention and I did not want to compete with him. Or I just did not have enough feelings for the guy to make it really work.
Anyway, I'm sure there are guys who will accept you and your child as a package, but may I just suggest that you start easing the idea into your child's mind now to prepare him when the situation comes?
Amaryllis: Thanks, Zombie, as horrifying as that thought maybe, aptly coming from you (I mean your name), and coming from Belgium myself where there had been ghastly cases like these, it does not hurt to be alert and be aware that it could indeed happen.
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).