Hands Off Moms ( Archived) (18)

Apr 23, 2009 11:05 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Karma3
Karma3Karma3Somewhere, Tamil Nadu India84 Threads 588 Posts
I was reading a thread about children looking after their parents in their old age and I think it is really wonderful that there are children that actually enjoy giving back.

However, what about children that have had 'hands off' moms? Moms that stayed out of their lives during their formative years? Moms that pursued their own interests and left the kids to the mercy of neighbours? Moms who split up their children, taking her boys and leaving her girls in an orphanage? Do such moms also deserve to be looked after in their old age?
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Apr 23, 2009 11:06 PM CST Hands Off Moms
CaptainBeirutIII
CaptainBeirutIIICaptainBeirutIIILondon, Greater London, England UK95 Threads 1 Polls 1,186 Posts
Karma3: Do such moms also deserve to be looked after in their old age?


Yes
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Apr 23, 2009 11:06 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Karma3
Karma3Karma3Somewhere, Tamil Nadu India84 Threads 588 Posts
CaptainBeirutIII: Yes

why?
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Apr 23, 2009 11:07 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Big_John
Big_JohnBig_JohnOcean Springs, Mississippi USA19 Threads 9,767 Posts
Where I come from family is family. We take care of our own.
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Apr 23, 2009 11:09 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Da10th
Da10thDa10thThree Springs, Pennsylvania USA17 Threads 2,744 Posts
Big_John: Where I come from family is family. We take care of our own.
thumbs up
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Apr 23, 2009 11:12 PM CST Hands Off Moms
I feel you will be healing yourself. She gave birth to you and you help her with death.peace
If you do not do this with love in you, please do not attempt to do this for her.
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Apr 23, 2009 11:13 PM CST Hands Off Moms
CaptainBeirutIII
CaptainBeirutIIICaptainBeirutIIILondon, Greater London, England UK95 Threads 1 Polls 1,186 Posts
Karma3: why?


Why not?
It would be more odd to find it a right moment to get even and have your revenge.
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Apr 23, 2009 11:14 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Karma3
Karma3Karma3Somewhere, Tamil Nadu India84 Threads 588 Posts
Big_John: Where I come from family is family. We take care of our own.


I am happy for you John. You did not have the misfortune of having a LDM (Long Distance Mom).
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Apr 23, 2009 11:15 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Big_John
Big_JohnBig_JohnOcean Springs, Mississippi USA19 Threads 9,767 Posts
Karma3: I am happy for you John. You did not have the misfortune of having a LDM (Long Distance Mom).


I had a long distance Father and we took him in and cared for him until he died. He was the very definition of a bad Dad.
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Apr 23, 2009 11:18 PM CST Hands Off Moms
virgiomonkey
virgiomonkeyvirgiomonkeyAuckland, New Zealand4,241 Posts
Big_John: Where I come from family is family. We take care of our own.



......................thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up .........

J.D
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Apr 23, 2009 11:21 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Karma3
Karma3Karma3Somewhere, Tamil Nadu India84 Threads 588 Posts
NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: I feel you will be healing yourself. She gave birth to you and you help her with death.
If you do not do this with love in you, please do not attempt to do this for her.

I need to explain that this is not about me and my mom - we are good. But I am very close to a lady who is in her early 60s and I am trying to get her to make peace with her mother before it is too late. This thread is about getting different views and opinions and the questions I ask are the ones she has put to me. So any help is welcome.
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Apr 23, 2009 11:38 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Da10th
Da10thDa10thThree Springs, Pennsylvania USA17 Threads 2,744 Posts
Sometimes the best way we can show forgiveness to a family member that has hurt us, is to be there for them when they need us. -JMO-
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Apr 23, 2009 11:38 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Da10th
Da10thDa10thThree Springs, Pennsylvania USA17 Threads 2,744 Posts
BTW, it's good to see you Karma, been quite awhile wave
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Apr 23, 2009 11:38 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Karma3: I was reading a thread about children looking after their parents in their old age and I think it is really wonderful that there are children that actually enjoy giving back.

However, what about children that have had 'hands off' moms? Moms that stayed out of their lives during their formative years? Moms that pursued their own interests and left the kids to the mercy of neighbours? Moms who split up their children, taking her boys and leaving her girls in an orphanage? Do such moms also deserve to be looked after in their old age?

This is my mothers life. My grandmother was crazy and dragged her daughters and left them with people they didn't even know. After a few years of this my grandmother ended up in a mental hospital. Not only did my mother care for her, all her grandchildren did as well.
My mother had a horrible childhood. She took it out on us as we aged. In her last years she became the person she was ment to be. Someone has to break the chain of neglect. Rise above the past, and become the gifts that has been given. LIfe and death.
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Apr 23, 2009 11:54 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Karma3
Karma3Karma3Somewhere, Tamil Nadu India84 Threads 588 Posts
Da10th: BTW, it's good to see you Karma, been quite awhile


Yup! I was bogged down with some stuff and stayed off for a while. wave
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Apr 23, 2009 11:58 PM CST Hands Off Moms
Karma3
Karma3Karma3Somewhere, Tamil Nadu India84 Threads 588 Posts
NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: This is my mothers life. My grandmother was crazy and dragged her daughters and left them with people they didn't even know. After a few years of this my grandmother ended up in a mental hospital. Not only did my mother care for her, all her grandchildren did as well.
My mother had a horrible childhood. She took it out on us as we aged. In her last years she became the person she was ment to be. Someone has to break the chain of neglect. Rise above the past, and become the gifts that has been given. LIfe and death.


I know what you mean about your mum taking it out on you kids because I have seen how distant this lady has been with her own children. She did her duty as their mother but no show of affection did I ever see.
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Apr 24, 2009 12:03 AM CST Hands Off Moms
Karma3: I know what you mean about your mum taking it out on you kids because I have seen how distant this lady has been with her own children. She did her duty as their mother but no show of affection did I ever see.
The sad thing is you see three generations of suffering hearts. If the mother can find it in her to forgive and love what is left of her mother and show her children she can do this for her mother, they will do it for her. The circle of life. What wounds they all share. Sadsad flower
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Apr 24, 2009 12:16 AM CST Hands Off Moms
dunny2
dunny2dunny2clovis, New Mexico USA2 Threads 100 Posts
Big_John: Where I come from family is family. We take care of our own.


Exactly!!thumbs up
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