A lady on a cruise bought a parrot on an island stop and took it back to the ship. After two days at sea the lady found her new friend laying on its back - feet pointed straight up.
She hailed the ship's doctor, "Please help my friend," wailed the lady. "I'm sorry the bird is quite dead" said the doc. "No, no..it can't be", cried the lady.
The doctor called in his own pet, a Labrador retriever, which sniffed the bird, shook his head and walked out.
Next, the doctor called in his cat which carefully walked a circle around the bird and walked out.
"No doubt about it ", said the doctor, "That is a dead bird."
The doctor reached for his pen and pad. He wrote out a bill and handed it to the lady. "Eight Hundred dollars!?" cried the lady.
"That's Correct! I'm charging you for three procedures. There is my opinion, a lab report and a cat scan." And You Must be ....
Pat says to the Mike, "Where did you get that shiner? It's a dozy! "
Mike said, "Do you know that cute women who is a nurse at the infirmary?"
"Why yes I do", said Pat, "she is quite the looker! The word is that there has been some hanky panky between you and her. I also know that her husband just got back from sea duty!!"
"That, my friend, is a little piece of information I could have used BEFORE I decided to visit her apartment, take a shower and when the bathroom door opened, jump out yelling surprise!!"
A Pool for My Baby
The rich tycoon bought a luxury yacht for his only daughter upon her graduation.
It was large and even had its own onboard pool. The tycoon dad brought the daughter aboard for the first time for a tour of the boat. The last thing to see was the pool.
All around the pool were shirtless ship construction workers finishing up some painting.
The daughter clasped her hands and screeched, " Oh, daddy it's a wonderful pool and you've even stocked it for me!"
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A lady on a cruise bought a parrot on an island stop and took it back to the ship. After two days at sea the lady found her new friend laying on its back - feet pointed straight up.
She hailed the ship's doctor, "Please help my friend," wailed the lady. "I'm sorry the bird is quite dead" said the doc. "No, no..it can't be", cried the lady.
The doctor called in his own pet, a Labrador retriever, which sniffed the bird, shook his head and walked out.
Next, the doctor called in his cat which carefully walked a circle around the bird and walked out.
"No doubt about it ", said the doctor, "That is a dead bird."
The doctor reached for his pen and pad. He wrote out a bill and handed it to the lady. "Eight Hundred dollars!?" cried the lady.
"That's Correct! I'm charging you for three procedures. There is my opinion, a lab report and a cat scan."
And You Must be ....
Pat says to the Mike, "Where did you get that shiner? It's a dozy! "
Mike said, "Do you know that cute women who is a nurse at the infirmary?"
"Why yes I do", said Pat, "she is quite the looker! The word is that there has been some hanky panky between you and her. I also know that her husband just got back from sea duty!!"
"That, my friend, is a little piece of information I could have used BEFORE I decided to visit her apartment, take a shower and when the bathroom door opened, jump out yelling surprise!!"
A Pool for My Baby
The rich tycoon bought a luxury yacht for his only daughter upon her graduation.
It was large and even had its own onboard pool. The tycoon dad brought the daughter aboard for the first time for a tour of the boat. The last thing to see was the pool.
All around the pool were shirtless ship construction workers finishing up some painting.
The daughter clasped her hands and screeched, " Oh, daddy it's a wonderful pool and you've even stocked it for me!"