Breaking up (8)
Blueyes22Ennis, Dublin Ireland4 Threads 16 PostsSome time back I was in a relationship was not working so was planning to end it but she got there first and abruptly finished it .I was absolutly shocked hurt and probably still am .Is this ego ? did I get exactly what I deserved anyone else experience similar ?
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desireyou: Some time back I was in a relationship was not working so was planning to end it but she got there first and abruptly finished it .I was absolutly shocked hurt and probably still am .Is this ego ? did I get exactly what I deserved anyone else experience similar ?
Yes I was 5 years old then!
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desireyou: Some time back I was in a relationship was not working so was planning to end it but she got there first and abruptly finished it .I was absolutly shocked hurt and probably still am .Is this ego ?
In a sense. Your response to the rejection shows that the manner of the breakup was not accepted by you. Either, you had to do it on your terms, or you still wanted to be with her since you were in a planning mode of breaking up---meaning perhaps you were not 100 percent sure. So when she broke up with you, and judging by your reaction, you were perhaps not ready for the break up---otherwise you would have understood and accepted it and moved on without so much shock and hurt.
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Thank you I appreciate the thoughtful reply
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desireyou: Some time back I was in a relationship was not working so was planning to end it but she got there first and abruptly finished it .I was absolutly shocked hurt and probably still am .Is this ego ? did I get exactly what I deserved anyone else experience similar ?
I think it's always a bit easier for the person who ends a relationship to move on, as the other person has to deal with the feelings of rejection. Probably like stressfree says that you maybe weren't ready for the relationship to end at that point so abruptly.
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desireyou: Thank you I appreciate the thoughtful reply
So what is going on right now? Are you two broken up still? Talking at all? Did you try and save the relationship?
I was in a similar situation last year with a woman. I was in a going with the flow phase and planning mode as well---I was in a waiting and feeling it out phase while I felt disconnected. I was giving the relationship more time and a chance to develop in hopes that maybe the tide would change. In any case, she broke up with me and I was cool with it---like having a burden lifted off of me---like she did us the favor.
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StressFree: In a sense. Your response to the rejection shows that the manner of the breakup was not accepted by you. Either, you had to do it on your terms, or you still wanted to be with her since you were in a planning mode of breaking up---meaning perhaps you were not 100 percent sure. So when she broke up with you, and judging by your reaction, you were perhaps not ready for the break up---otherwise you would have understood and accepted it and moved on without so much shock and hurt.
I think the OP wanted the upper hand. Perhaps he wanted her to beg and cry that she didn't want to lose him when he said it's over. When she dumped him, he was shocked that he wasn't loved by her as much as he thought. That's called a rude awakening.
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Created: Jan 2010
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