post a joke (27)

your so mean babe

im goina bait ya with my zimmmerframe when im old

careful you dont slip a disk

if i fall ill drag u down with me

not i beat you down withmy cane

you wouldnt do no such thing

Pat and Mary,both in their 80's were on the holiday of a lifetime in America,but were starting to run out of money. Thinking they might have to cut short the holiday,the hotel barman gave them tickets to the rodeo. Having a great time at the rodeo Pat was worried about the money situation when over the tannoy came the announcement that there was a 5000dollar prize to anyone who could ride Wildfire, the meanest stallion in the rodeo. Seeing a way out of their money problems,Pat sneaked down and entered his name. When the time came to ride Wildfire.Mary was convinced that Pat would be killed, but Pat rode the horse to a standstill,much to the relief of Mary and the delight of the crowd. As he came back with the 5000dollars Mary hugged him and asked "Pat dear,where on earth did you learn to ride the bucking bronco like that?". "Well Mary"said PAT "DO YOU REMEMBER LAST SUMMER WHEN YOU HAD THE WHOOPING COUGH....

hmm maybe something a litle less violent, i could swap your high blood pressure pills with sugar pills

ud be the last person id trust with my medication

oh
but what if you cant go and im the only able person to get them for you hmm

Old and corny, but I love this one. Background information, this stems from the days when the bin men used to knock at the door for a tip at Christmas time.

Bin man knocks at door, woman opens it. 'Hi, Happy Christmas', woman brings him up to the bedroom and gives him a good 'seeing to'. He's delighted with himself and tells the other binmen. Two more knock on the door, and get the same result.

Then driver desides to try his luck. The woman answers the door and gives him a fiver. He is confused, and asks her if other binmen have called and if she gave them anything else.

She replied "Yes, I was just doing what my husband told me to. Before he left for work this morning he said. "Those binmen will be around looking for their tip this morning, just give the driver a fiver, and you can f##k the rest of them"