Giving your trust to someone and being happy. (43)
Sounds like it might just be cold feet on your part... I could be wrong though! 
kielybear: This is a thread that i hope will help me and i really appreciate any advice,i can get.I have been in a long distance relationship for the last 9 months,i met a girl here on cs and she is living in the states,she is a beautiful,caring,funny,intelligent,wonderful person in every sense,she has an amazing little daughter who i absolutely adore and i am proud and feel honored to be in her life.
I decided i would go and visit her in march,i went and fell even more in love,so i popped the question while i was there,she said yes and i was overjoyed.I went back for a visit in may and now she is coming to see me in 4 weeks time.I am in love with her that is no question,i couldnt picture her not being in my life.I know you will all think that i am rushing in to things,i have heard all of this before and i dont think i am.
So whats the problem? well,the last few weeks i have not been as happy as i usually am,she thinks its her fault and it really is not,i just get down from time to time,so this has cause multiple fights between us and i am to blame for almost all of them.The biggest thing recently is i found myself questioning her,not trusting her if you will.She has never given me any reason not to trust her and i hate myself for not giving her full trust,i know how much it hurts her.She has always given me her trust and devotion,she loves me with all her heart.I know this.
I have never been badly hurt in a relationship and i dont know why i find it so hard to trust her,im starting to think that there is something wrong with me.
Anyone got any stories or ways i can fix this problem,i would love all the input i can get,especially from the female side of cs.
Thanks for your help
Colm
the foundation for love is built around TRUST ,simpleI decided i would go and visit her in march,i went and fell even more in love,so i popped the question while i was there,she said yes and i was overjoyed.I went back for a visit in may and now she is coming to see me in 4 weeks time.I am in love with her that is no question,i couldnt picture her not being in my life.I know you will all think that i am rushing in to things,i have heard all of this before and i dont think i am.
So whats the problem? well,the last few weeks i have not been as happy as i usually am,she thinks its her fault and it really is not,i just get down from time to time,so this has cause multiple fights between us and i am to blame for almost all of them.The biggest thing recently is i found myself questioning her,not trusting her if you will.She has never given me any reason not to trust her and i hate myself for not giving her full trust,i know how much it hurts her.She has always given me her trust and devotion,she loves me with all her heart.I know this.
I have never been badly hurt in a relationship and i dont know why i find it so hard to trust her,im starting to think that there is something wrong with me.
Anyone got any stories or ways i can fix this problem,i would love all the input i can get,especially from the female side of cs.
Thanks for your help
Colm
...is that her in the pic? If so - she's a cutie! 
delamer: ...is that her in the pic? If so - she's a cutie!
Thats my girl :)
delamer: Sounds like it might just be cold feet on your part... I could be wrong though!
Its not cold feet,i want to marry her,i really do love her.
kielybear: Its not cold feet,i want to marry her,i really do love her.
COOL!
It just came across in your post that you may be putting up barriers for yourself?
delamer: Sounds like it might just be cold feet on your part... I could be wrong though!
Was thinking the same thing.
It's a big commitment to move half way around the world... or to ask some else to do it.
Sometimes we "test" a person or ourselves... without even realising we are doing it. It's almost like we bring on a fight just to see if we can make it through.
Human nature can be cruel and confusing sometimes.
kielybear: This is a thread that i hope will help me and i really appreciate any advice,i can get.I have been in a long distance relationship for the last 9 months,i met a girl here on cs and she is living in the states,she is a beautiful,caring,funny,intelligent,wonderful person in every sense,she has an amazing little daughter who i absolutely adore and i am proud and feel honored to be in her life.
I decided i would go and visit her in march,i went and fell even more in love,so i popped the question while i was there,she said yes and i was overjoyed.I went back for a visit in may and now she is coming to see me in 4 weeks time.I am in love with her that is no question,i couldnt picture her not being in my life.I know you will all think that i am rushing in to things,i have heard all of this before and i dont think i am.
So whats the problem? well,the last few weeks i have not been as happy as i usually am,she thinks its her fault and it really is not,i just get down from time to time,so this has cause multiple fights between us and i am to blame for almost all of them.The biggest thing recently is i found myself questioning her,not trusting her if you will.She has never given me any reason not to trust her and i hate myself for not giving her full trust,i know how much it hurts her.She has always given me her trust and devotion,she loves me with all her heart.I know this.
I have never been badly hurt in a relationship and i dont know why i find it so hard to trust her,im starting to think that there is something wrong with me.
Anyone got any stories or ways i can fix this problem,i would love all the input i can get,especially from the female side of cs.
Thanks for your help
Colm
I decided i would go and visit her in march,i went and fell even more in love,so i popped the question while i was there,she said yes and i was overjoyed.I went back for a visit in may and now she is coming to see me in 4 weeks time.I am in love with her that is no question,i couldnt picture her not being in my life.I know you will all think that i am rushing in to things,i have heard all of this before and i dont think i am.
So whats the problem? well,the last few weeks i have not been as happy as i usually am,she thinks its her fault and it really is not,i just get down from time to time,so this has cause multiple fights between us and i am to blame for almost all of them.The biggest thing recently is i found myself questioning her,not trusting her if you will.She has never given me any reason not to trust her and i hate myself for not giving her full trust,i know how much it hurts her.She has always given me her trust and devotion,she loves me with all her heart.I know this.
I have never been badly hurt in a relationship and i dont know why i find it so hard to trust her,im starting to think that there is something wrong with me.
Anyone got any stories or ways i can fix this problem,i would love all the input i can get,especially from the female side of cs.
Thanks for your help
Colm
You've known her for 9months and met once is that right? The rush you get from clicking with someone online, and then in real life may have made you rush things a bit? Personally, i think it's wayyyy too soon to even think about marriage. You've spent a holiday with her, and she's due to visit you fair enough, but can you truly know someone and want to marry them without spending a decent amount of actual time with them?
See how ye get on when she comes to visit i guess, you'll know then. Good luck with it
wexlady41: Was thinking the same thing.
It's a big commitment to move half way around the world... or to ask some else to do it.
Sometimes we "test" a person or ourselves... without even realising we are doing it. It's almost like we bring on a fight just to see if we can make it through.
Human nature can be cruel and confusing sometimes.
It's a big commitment to move half way around the world... or to ask some else to do it.
Sometimes we "test" a person or ourselves... without even realising we are doing it. It's almost like we bring on a fight just to see if we can make it through.
Human nature can be cruel and confusing sometimes.
That is honestly the most helpful piece of advice i have ever gotten,you are a wonderful human being.
Thank you so much.
hey kiely well done and must say congrats and also your looking well!!
ill just say if you love her relax enjoy life and trust her more
ill just say if you love her relax enjoy life and trust her more
MimiKate: You've known her for 9months and met once is that right? The rush you get from clicking with someone online, and then in real life may have made you rush things a bit? Personally, i think it's wayyyy too soon to even think about marriage. You've spent a holiday with her, and she's due to visit you fair enough, but can you truly know someone and want to marry them without spending a decent amount of actual time with them?
See how ye get on when she comes to visit i guess, you'll know then. Good luck with it
See how ye get on when she comes to visit i guess, you'll know then. Good luck with it
Thanks,but no i have spent a total of 5 weeks with her in person this year, 2 visits,and almost all my free time with her on skype.so knowing each other is not in question,i know her for over a year. :)
areyoureadytogo: hey kiely well done and must say congrats and also your looking well!!
ill just say if you love her relax enjoy life and trust her more
ill just say if you love her relax enjoy life and trust her more
Thank you for those kind and helpful words
kielybear: Thats my girl :)
Lad, here's a pair of socks for you!
Honestly, I really think you are just experiencing the normal doubts before taking the big step. Lovey, don't let it ruin something wonderful, you hear? Love and trust go hand in hand, and if she hasn't give you any reason not to trust her, you probably do only suffer from "pes frigidus" (that's the official latin medical turn
).On the other hand, if this "mistrust" you feel is a gut feeling, start asking yourself what might have caused it. Normally, our gut feelings are triggered by something that we do not register with our concious mind, but our subconcious mind rings alarm bells.
But..... nothing ventured.... and all that...
kielybear: Thanks,but no i have spent a total of 5 weeks with her in person this year, 2 visits,and almost all my free time with her on skype.so knowing each other is not in question,i know her for over a year. :)
Cool. I agree with Wexlady. When we're thrown out of our comfort zone, it doesn't sit right with us for a while, makes us question EVERYTHING lol But can often be the best thing to help us move with change. I wish you the best
felinelady: Lad, here's a pair of socks for you!
Honestly, I really think you are just experiencing the normal doubts before taking the big step. Lovey, don't let it ruin something wonderful, you hear? Love and trust go hand in hand, and if she hasn't give you any reason not to trust her, you probably do only suffer from "pes frigidus" (that's the official latin medical turn ).
On the other hand, if this "mistrust" you feel is a gut feeling, start asking yourself what might have caused it. Normally, our gut feelings are triggered by something that we do not register with our concious mind, but our subconcious mind rings alarm bells.
But..... nothing ventured.... and all that...
Honestly, I really think you are just experiencing the normal doubts before taking the big step. Lovey, don't let it ruin something wonderful, you hear? Love and trust go hand in hand, and if she hasn't give you any reason not to trust her, you probably do only suffer from "pes frigidus" (that's the official latin medical turn ).
On the other hand, if this "mistrust" you feel is a gut feeling, start asking yourself what might have caused it. Normally, our gut feelings are triggered by something that we do not register with our concious mind, but our subconcious mind rings alarm bells.
But..... nothing ventured.... and all that...
To be honest,i think the fact that i came here seeking advice is a sign that i really dont want to let it ruin what i have with her,it kills me when i see her upset.
MimiKate: Cool. I agree with Wexlady. When we're thrown out of our comfort zone, it doesn't sit right with us for a while, makes us question EVERYTHING lol But can often be the best thing to help us move with change. I wish you the best
Thank you,and yes,my comfort zone will be oblitorated :)
kielybear: This is a thread that i hope will help me and i really appreciate any advice,i can get.I have been in a long distance relationship for the last 9 months,i met a girl here on cs and she is living in the states,she is a beautiful,caring,funny,intelligent,wonderful person in every sense,she has an amazing little daughter who i absolutely adore and i am proud and feel honored to be in her life.
I decided i would go and visit her in march,i went and fell even more in love,so i popped the question while i was there,she said yes and i was overjoyed.I went back for a visit in may and now she is coming to see me in 4 weeks time.I am in love with her that is no question,i couldnt picture her not being in my life.I know you will all think that i am rushing in to things,i have heard all of this before and i dont think i am.
So whats the problem? well,the last few weeks i have not been as happy as i usually am,she thinks its her fault and it really is not,i just get down from time to time,so this has cause multiple fights between us and i am to blame for almost all of them.The biggest thing recently is i found myself questioning her,not trusting her if you will.She has never given me any reason not to trust her and i hate myself for not giving her full trust,i know how much it hurts her.She has always given me her trust and devotion,she loves me with all her heart.I know this.
I have never been badly hurt in a relationship and i dont know why i find it so hard to trust her,im starting to think that there is something wrong with me.
Anyone got any stories or ways i can fix this problem,i would love all the input i can get,especially from the female side of cs.
Thanks for your help
Colm
I decided i would go and visit her in march,i went and fell even more in love,so i popped the question while i was there,she said yes and i was overjoyed.I went back for a visit in may and now she is coming to see me in 4 weeks time.I am in love with her that is no question,i couldnt picture her not being in my life.I know you will all think that i am rushing in to things,i have heard all of this before and i dont think i am.
So whats the problem? well,the last few weeks i have not been as happy as i usually am,she thinks its her fault and it really is not,i just get down from time to time,so this has cause multiple fights between us and i am to blame for almost all of them.The biggest thing recently is i found myself questioning her,not trusting her if you will.She has never given me any reason not to trust her and i hate myself for not giving her full trust,i know how much it hurts her.She has always given me her trust and devotion,she loves me with all her heart.I know this.
I have never been badly hurt in a relationship and i dont know why i find it so hard to trust her,im starting to think that there is something wrong with me.
Anyone got any stories or ways i can fix this problem,i would love all the input i can get,especially from the female side of cs.
Thanks for your help
Colm
You say youve been together 9 months fair enough but really you have only been with her for the duration of your stay with her in america which was what? a week? a fothnight?
In my opinion its way too early for marriage
BentLid: You say youve been together 9 months fair enough but really you have only been with her for the duration of your stay with her in america which was what? a week? a fothnight?
In my opinion its way too early for marriage
In my opinion its way too early for marriage
2 visits,total of 5 weeks,but as i said,im not worried about that.if i was i would have called the thread"too early for marriage",but i didnt,thanks for the input though. :)
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Created: Jul 2010
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I decided i would go and visit her in march,i went and fell even more in love,so i popped the question while i was there,she said yes and i was overjoyed.I went back for a visit in may and now she is coming to see me in 4 weeks time.I am in love with her that is no question,i couldnt picture her not being in my life.I know you will all think that i am rushing in to things,i have heard all of this before and i dont think i am.
So whats the problem? well,the last few weeks i have not been as happy as i usually am,she thinks its her fault and it really is not,i just get down from time to time,so this has cause multiple fights between us and i am to blame for almost all of them.The biggest thing recently is i found myself questioning her,not trusting her if you will.She has never given me any reason not to trust her and i hate myself for not giving her full trust,i know how much it hurts her.She has always given me her trust and devotion,she loves me with all her heart.I know this.
I have never been badly hurt in a relationship and i dont know why i find it so hard to trust her,im starting to think that there is something wrong with me.
Anyone got any stories or ways i can fix this problem,i would love all the input i can get,especially from the female side of cs.
Thanks for your help
Colm