Should you choose your "best friend" for a long-term relationship? (51)
Would love to hear your thoughts on this. What have you learnt from experience? Would you agree re: the above? Are any of you lucky enough to have found that elusive best friend/lover ideal connection??? Enquiring minds want to know!!!! Spill the beans!
I think to a certain degree all humans generally look for the things you have just highlighted. We generally attracted by the physical attributes, as thats whats pleasing to the eyes, and from there we move onto intelligence, values, aspirations, quirks etc.
I honestly and truly believe that first and foremost you have to be friends with the person you are married to. Someone once said to me"Anyone can be passionate, but It takes "Real Love" to be Silly. I didnt understand what they meant at the time, but now in hindsight, its as clear as mud to me.
I know couples, who have absolutely nothing in common, and have absolutely nothing to say to each other, and cannot wonder why anyone would want to be in a relationship, that is so unfulfilling.
Long lasting relationships stand the test of time, because they have a tolerance and acceptance that they are not perfect, but that they are perfect for each other. Their has to be honesty, integrity, passion, laughter, and individual space if you want something to last. You have to like each other, and you must be able to laugh at yourselves. Those are some of the special things I believe can sustain a relationship. And least but not last, romance, passion, lust and excitement. Those are the things every relationship needs...........
I think to a certain degree all humans generally look for the things you have just highlighted. We generally attracted by the physical attributes, as thats whats pleasing to the eyes, and from there we move onto intelligence, values, aspirations, quirks etc.
I honestly and truly believe that first and foremost you have to be friends with the person you are married to. Someone once said to me"Anyone can be passionate, but It takes "Real Love" to be Silly. I didnt understand what they meant at the time, but now in hindsight, its as clear as mud to me.
I know couples, who have absolutely nothing in common, and have absolutely nothing to say to each other, and cannot wonder why anyone would want to be in a relationship, that is so unfulfilling.
Long lasting relationships stand the test of time, because they have a tolerance and acceptance that they are not perfect, but that they are perfect for each other. Their has to be honesty, integrity, passion, laughter, and individual space if you want something to last. You have to like each other, and you must be able to laugh at yourselves. Those are some of the special things I believe can sustain a relationship. And least but not last, romance, passion, lust and excitement. Those are the things every relationship needs...........
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A lot of women tend to go for the "thrill of the chase" challenge of the bad boy the first time, try to change him into a good guy, then end up making the same mistake a few more times with a few more guys before they go for the "good guy" who they've always considered "just a friend." Usually, by this time, they've gained a few kids from Mr. Wrong and want Mr. Right to raise them.
Personally, I think women are better off going for Mr. Right the first time and not hunting the purely hormone driven thrill of the chase. You can create that with anyone if you work at it. The real big-C is Choice.
Very nice topic, btw.
Personally, I think women are better off going for Mr. Right the first time and not hunting the purely hormone driven thrill of the chase. You can create that with anyone if you work at it. The real big-C is Choice.
Very nice topic, btw.
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leostartingover: Sadly, she sounds like her values are all screwed up. It must be hard to build up trust in women again after being burned like that, but I think it helps not to tarnish us all with the same paintbrush!!!! My advice is to take it slowly, and although I'm not one for delving into the past all the time; I feel it is important to understand why we chose the relationships we did... That way, we hopefully don't make the same mistake again!
Lots of good luck to you......
Lots of good luck to you......
That's the whole reason I'm here hun, I haven't tarred you all with the same brush, far from it. I love the female side of our species and hope to be attached again. I don't like being single at all! It sucks big time, I just needed some single time to get away from it all. I will certainly take it slow and be more careful about who may come along next time, if anybody does.
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Prettyuptowngirl: Would love to hear your thoughts on this. What have you learnt from experience? Would you agree re: the above? Are any of you lucky enough to have found that elusive best friend/lover ideal connection??? Enquiring minds want to know!!!! Spill the beans!
I think to a certain degree all humans generally look for the things you have just highlighted. We generally attracted by the physical attributes, as thats whats pleasing to the eyes, and from there we move onto intelligence, values, aspirations, quirks etc.
I honestly and truly believe that first and foremost you have to be friends with the person you are married to. Someone once said to me"Anyone can be passionate, but It takes "Real Love" to be Silly. I didnt understand what they meant at the time, but now in hindsight, its as clear as mud to me.
I know couples, who have absolutely nothing in common, and have absolutely nothing to say to each other, and cannot wonder why anyone would want to be in a relationship, that is so unfulfilling.
Long lasting relationships stand the test of time, because they have a tolerance and acceptance that they are not perfect, but that they are perfect for each other. Their has to be honesty, integrity, passion, laughter, and individual space if you want something to last. You have to like each other, and you must be able to laugh at yourselves. Those are some of the special things I believe can sustain a relationship. And least but not last, romance, passion, lust and excitement. Those are the things every relationship needs...........
I think to a certain degree all humans generally look for the things you have just highlighted. We generally attracted by the physical attributes, as thats whats pleasing to the eyes, and from there we move onto intelligence, values, aspirations, quirks etc.
I honestly and truly believe that first and foremost you have to be friends with the person you are married to. Someone once said to me"Anyone can be passionate, but It takes "Real Love" to be Silly. I didnt understand what they meant at the time, but now in hindsight, its as clear as mud to me.
I know couples, who have absolutely nothing in common, and have absolutely nothing to say to each other, and cannot wonder why anyone would want to be in a relationship, that is so unfulfilling.
Long lasting relationships stand the test of time, because they have a tolerance and acceptance that they are not perfect, but that they are perfect for each other. Their has to be honesty, integrity, passion, laughter, and individual space if you want something to last. You have to like each other, and you must be able to laugh at yourselves. Those are some of the special things I believe can sustain a relationship. And least but not last, romance, passion, lust and excitement. Those are the things every relationship needs...........
I really like the sounds of what I highlighted in red. I think that is a good foundation for a relationship.
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You can be in bed with the most beautiful body in the world,
but sooner or later you have to roll over and talk with it.
If you cannot communicate - why be there?
but sooner or later you have to roll over and talk with it.
If you cannot communicate - why be there?
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Prettyuptowngirl: Would love to hear your thoughts on this. What have you learnt from experience? Would you agree re: the above? Are any of you lucky enough to have found that elusive best friend/lover ideal connection??? Enquiring minds want to know!!!! Spill the beans!
I think to a certain degree all humans generally look for the things you have just highlighted. We generally attracted by the physical attributes, as thats whats pleasing to the eyes, and from there we move onto intelligence, values, aspirations, quirks etc.
I honestly and truly believe that first and foremost you have to be friends with the person you are married to. Someone once said to me"Anyone can be passionate, but It takes "Real Love" to be Silly. I didnt understand what they meant at the time, but now in hindsight, its as clear as mud to me.
I know couples, who have absolutely nothing in common, and have absolutely nothing to say to each other, and cannot wonder why anyone would want to be in a relationship, that is so unfulfilling.
Long lasting relationships stand the test of time, because they have a tolerance and acceptance that they are not perfect, but that they are perfect for each other. Their has to be honesty, integrity, passion, laughter, and individual space if you want something to last. You have to like each other, and you must be able to laugh at yourselves. Those are some of the special things I believe can sustain a relationship. And least but not last, romance, passion, lust and excitement. Those are the things every relationship needs...........
I think to a certain degree all humans generally look for the things you have just highlighted. We generally attracted by the physical attributes, as thats whats pleasing to the eyes, and from there we move onto intelligence, values, aspirations, quirks etc.
I honestly and truly believe that first and foremost you have to be friends with the person you are married to. Someone once said to me"Anyone can be passionate, but It takes "Real Love" to be Silly. I didnt understand what they meant at the time, but now in hindsight, its as clear as mud to me.
I know couples, who have absolutely nothing in common, and have absolutely nothing to say to each other, and cannot wonder why anyone would want to be in a relationship, that is so unfulfilling.
Long lasting relationships stand the test of time, because they have a tolerance and acceptance that they are not perfect, but that they are perfect for each other. Their has to be honesty, integrity, passion, laughter, and individual space if you want something to last. You have to like each other, and you must be able to laugh at yourselves. Those are some of the special things I believe can sustain a relationship. And least but not last, romance, passion, lust and excitement. Those are the things every relationship needs...........
I'd have to agree with you, nice post.
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Medsummer: You can be in bed with the most beautiful body in the world,
but sooner or later you have to roll over and talk with it.
If you cannot communicate - why be there?
but sooner or later you have to roll over and talk with it.
If you cannot communicate - why be there?
Roll over and talk WITH IT???
We are talking about a person here right LOL
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"Long lasting relationships stand the test of time, because they have a tolerance and acceptance that they are not perfect, but that they are perfect for each other. Their has to be honesty, integrity, passion, laughter, and individual space if you want something to last. You have to like each other, and you must be able to laugh at yourselves. Those are some of the special things I believe can sustain a relationship. And least but not last, romance, passion, lust and excitement. Those are the things every relationship needs..........."
well said.
well said.
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thelastgoodman: A lot of women tend to go for the "thrill of the chase" challenge of the bad boy the first time, try to change him into a good guy, then end up making the same mistake a few more times with a few more guys before they go for the "good guy" who they've always considered "just a friend." Usually, by this time, they've gained a few kids from Mr. Wrong and want Mr. Right to raise them.
Personally, I think women are better off going for Mr. Right the first time and not hunting the purely hormone driven thrill of the chase. You can create that with anyone if you work at it. The real big-C is Choice.
Very nice topic, btw.
Personally, I think women are better off going for Mr. Right the first time and not hunting the purely hormone driven thrill of the chase. You can create that with anyone if you work at it. The real big-C is Choice.
Very nice topic, btw.
And then that Mr Right must be a stupid desperate schmuck to raise Mr Wrong's kids ..
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thelastgoodman: A lot of women tend to go for the "thrill of the chase" challenge of the bad boy the first time, try to change him into a good guy, then end up making the same mistake a few more times with a few more guys before they go for the "good guy" who they've always considered "just a friend." Usually, by this time, they've gained a few kids from Mr. Wrong and want Mr. Right to raise them.
Personally, I think women are better off going for Mr. Right the first time and not hunting the purely hormone driven thrill of the chase. You can create that with anyone if you work at it. The real big-C is Choice.
Very nice topic, btw.
Personally, I think women are better off going for Mr. Right the first time and not hunting the purely hormone driven thrill of the chase. You can create that with anyone if you work at it. The real big-C is Choice.
Very nice topic, btw.
And then that Mr Right must be a stupid desperate schmuck to raise Mr Wrong's kids ..
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Panther0077: And then that Mr Right must be a stupid desperate schmuck to raise Mr Wrong's kids ..
thelastgoodman: A lot of women tend to go for the "thrill of the chase" challenge of the bad boy the first time, try to change him into a good guy, then end up making the same mistake a few more times with a few more guys before they go for the "good guy" who they've always considered "just a friend." Usually, by this time, they've gained a few kids from Mr. Wrong and want Mr. Right to raise them.
Personally, I think women are better off going for Mr. Right the first time and not hunting the purely hormone driven thrill of the chase. You can create that with anyone if you work at it. The real big-C is Choice.
Very nice topic, btw.
Personally, I think women are better off going for Mr. Right the first time and not hunting the purely hormone driven thrill of the chase. You can create that with anyone if you work at it. The real big-C is Choice.
Very nice topic, btw.
I am sorry that you two feel that way. Children are a blessing. They do not ask to come into this world. And it is a privilage to be able to participate in the raising of a child. This is just my opinion. And always will be. I was raised with two children that were not of our family. And my mum and pa loved us all the same. I myself think it would be easy to be drawn to a man who is compassionate enough to know that being a good father has nothing to do with paternity.
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yes
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Proudamerican100: I am sorry that you two feel that way. Children are a blessing. They do not ask to come into this world. And it is a privilage to be able to participate in the raising of a child. This is just my opinion. And always will be. I was raised with two children that were not of our family. And my mum and pa loved us all the same. I myself think it would be easy to be drawn to a man who is compassionate enough to know that being a good father has nothing to do with paternity.
Correct, being a father is not about paternity, it's about being a decent human being who'll accept a child to make the child happy, and to be a happy family no matter who the dad is.
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thelastgoodman: A lot of women tend to go for the "thrill of the chase" challenge of the bad boy the first time, try to change him into a good guy, then end up making the same mistake a few more times with a few more guys before they go for the "good guy" who they've always considered "just a friend." Usually, by this time, they've gained a few kids from Mr. Wrong and want Mr. Right to raise them.
Personally, I think women are better off going for Mr. Right the first time and not hunting the purely hormone driven thrill of the chase. You can create that with anyone if you work at it. The real big-C is Choice.
Very nice topic, btw.
Personally, I think women are better off going for Mr. Right the first time and not hunting the purely hormone driven thrill of the chase. You can create that with anyone if you work at it. The real big-C is Choice.
Very nice topic, btw.
Thanks and I absolutely agree with you, at least in regard to the choosing the good guy vs the bad guy! Unfortunately, a lot of us only learn that as we get older. Have you heard of Imago therapy? It is about choosing the partner you need to heal your childhood! When we eventually "grow up" and heal, we choose more suitable partners....
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leostartingover: Thanks and I absolutely agree with you, at least in regard to the choosing the good guy vs the bad guy! Unfortunately, a lot of us only learn that as we get older. Have you heard of Imago therapy? It is about choosing the partner you need to heal your childhood! When we eventually "grow up" and heal, we choose more suitable partners....
Really??
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leostartingover: Yes, it is a fine balance!
Nice profile pic update
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This is NOT GOOD !
you want to MARRY someone,.. for LIFE,..........
yet,its OK for them NOT to be your best friend ? GOD,....
ARE you my x WIFE ? ..... you have the EXACT same attitude !
40, 50 , 60 YRS....... that PERSON,..... HAS to be,.....
your best friend,........................................
NO, IFS and's or BUTTS !
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taff1: Tell me about lack of commitment. My ex's have done it without missing a beat. Not an ounce of morals or remorse, just tear years of being together to pieces in one felled swoop and on to the next guy like nothing had happened.
YES ! this is the definition of the MODERN DAY woman !
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Proudamerican100: That sounds like fun. Can you come closer
Careful, she is in California,...... not even a GOLD RUSH,.could get me to go back to that COUNTRY !..........
there laws are completely different from the USA !
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But what would I know?