Foreign Language (66)
Scubadiva: Okay, so let's say you meet someone from another country and you don't speak their language and their command of yours is mediocre. What do you do?
Will you continue and hope they learn more of your language?
Will you learn theirs?
Will you continue with the relationship even though there are limits to how much and what you can talk about?I ask because my girlfriend was married to a man from another country. They lived in her country. In 10 years, he didn't learn anything beyond what he knew when they met and that wasn't much. (I know the guy and he speaks and understands very little). Ergo, he never got a decent job and their communication was tedious. In the end, they divorced because of several issues.
So how important is it to you to be able to communicate with another person and does it matter to you if there are some topics that you simply cannot talk about? ... and again, how willing are you to learn their language to make things work?
Will you continue and hope they learn more of your language?
Will you learn theirs?
Will you continue with the relationship even though there are limits to how much and what you can talk about?I ask because my girlfriend was married to a man from another country. They lived in her country. In 10 years, he didn't learn anything beyond what he knew when they met and that wasn't much. (I know the guy and he speaks and understands very little). Ergo, he never got a decent job and their communication was tedious. In the end, they divorced because of several issues.
So how important is it to you to be able to communicate with another person and does it matter to you if there are some topics that you simply cannot talk about? ... and again, how willing are you to learn their language to make things work?
The woman I'm going on a first date with tonight is from the Philippines. She does speak English but has problems understanding me because of the "accent". We'll get around that one way or another if things go well.
I was engaged to a Puerto Rican girl while I was stationed in Brooklyn NY for the US Coast Guard back in '81-'82. She spoke so fast it was like listening to a speed reader. Now and then I had to tell her to slow down so I could understand her.
The reason why we never got married is because she was killed 6 months before the wedding. That story is buried somewhere here.
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Liebe2: Intellectual stimulation is as important to me. I would not marry someone I cannot properly communicate with at every level. I met someone whose command of English was poor (even though English is not my native language) and had a really hard time communicating with him. We had so many arguments just because he did not understand what I meant or misunderstood me.
Now on the other hand life is a learning curve and so are relationships; I believe one can learn the other's language. After all love is worth every effort.
Now on the other hand life is a learning curve and so are relationships; I believe one can learn the other's language. After all love is worth every effort.
Oh brother... I can empathize with that situation and yes, you're right: If it's love, then it's worth the effort to learn. Misunderstandings can really mess things up and leave one with a wrong impression of a person. On the flip side, it can also reveal what another person is really all about (in the positive and negative sense).
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Raynew1959: The woman I'm going on a first date with tonight is from the Philippines. She does speak English but has problems understanding me because of the "accent". We'll get around that one way or another if things go well.
I was engaged to a Puerto Rican girl while I was stationed in Brooklyn NY for the US Coast Guard back in '81-'82. She spoke so fast it was like listening to a speed reader. Now and then I had to tell her to slow down so I could understand her.
The reason why we never got married is because she was killed 6 months before the wedding. That story is buried somewhere here.
I was engaged to a Puerto Rican girl while I was stationed in Brooklyn NY for the US Coast Guard back in '81-'82. She spoke so fast it was like listening to a speed reader. Now and then I had to tell her to slow down so I could understand her.
The reason why we never got married is because she was killed 6 months before the wedding. That story is buried somewhere here.
Oh good lord, what a horrible situation. I'm sorry to read that.
Good thing you got back on the wagon and it sounds like tonight will be an exciting date. Take it easy on the accent tonight!! and try to speak "properly enunciated" English
Give her a little time to get used to the twang Good luck! 
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hamdeli az hamzabani khoshtar ast!
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"After all love is worth every effort."
In the case of Liebe, that would most definitely be true!!
English is my native language, so that is most comfortable for me. I could communicate somewhat in Spanish if I had to, and I could greet a Russian in the Russian language. I do think that trying to learn a partner's language is important and certainly worth doing. When my dad came to the U.S. from Sweeden in 1923, there was a lot of predjudice against foreigners, so my dad dropped his sweedish accent and language as fast as possible. He self-taught himself English and other things, and he learned to speak excellent English. When I'm around people who are speaking a foreign language that I don't understand, I honestly have to say I feel a little uncomfortable because I don't know what they are saying. Imagine, for example, a tourist visiting Russia and hearing Russian police officers speaking in Russian, "Nyet!", which means "no". If you don't understand the language, you could get in a lot of trouble.
In the case of Liebe, that would most definitely be true!!
English is my native language, so that is most comfortable for me. I could communicate somewhat in Spanish if I had to, and I could greet a Russian in the Russian language. I do think that trying to learn a partner's language is important and certainly worth doing. When my dad came to the U.S. from Sweeden in 1923, there was a lot of predjudice against foreigners, so my dad dropped his sweedish accent and language as fast as possible. He self-taught himself English and other things, and he learned to speak excellent English. When I'm around people who are speaking a foreign language that I don't understand, I honestly have to say I feel a little uncomfortable because I don't know what they are saying. Imagine, for example, a tourist visiting Russia and hearing Russian police officers speaking in Russian, "Nyet!", which means "no". If you don't understand the language, you could get in a lot of trouble.
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If I read you correct, your potential mate must speak your language and/or English at a native level?
Intellectual stimulation is as important to me. I would not marry someone I cannot properly communicate with at every level. I met someone whose command of English was poor (even though English is not my native language) and had a really hard time communicating with him. We had so many arguments just because he did not understand what I meant or misunderstood me.
Now on the other hand life is a learning curve and so are relationships; I believe one can learn the other's language. After all love is worth every effort.