An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-) ( Archived) (18)

Nov 23, 2012 12:53 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
'What majestic trees'!
'What powerful rivers'!
'What beautiful animals'!He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him..
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'?

The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:


"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amengrin
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Nov 23, 2012 1:07 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
Witchaywoman
WitchaywomanWitchaywomanCarpentersville, Illinois USA97 Threads 13 Polls 4,344 Posts
See, this joke is not a threat to an Atheist because Atheists don't believe in God or talking bears. tongue
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Nov 23, 2012 1:10 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
Witchaywoman: See, this joke is not a threat to an Atheist because Atheists don't believe in God or talking bears.
Myabe but its funny to those of us who do believe in God tongue

Now talking bears is another thing laugh Maybe after a few scoops one might hear a bear growl laugh laugh wave
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Nov 23, 2012 1:11 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
Nuliiiiiii: 'What majestic trees'!
'What powerful rivers'!
'What beautiful animals'!He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him..
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'?

The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen



hehehe...........and so endeth today´s lessonangel

Funny Nuliiiiiiiiii
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Nov 23, 2012 1:18 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
hoolet: hehehe...........and so endeth today´s lesson

Funny Nuliiiiiiiiii
lol Hiya Hoolet grin
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Nov 23, 2012 1:54 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing

Nota bene to oneself... writing ...remember Nuli's OMG joke in emergencies...
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Nov 23, 2012 2:06 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
jac379: Nota bene to oneself... ...remember Nuli's OMG joke in emergencies...
laugh laugh laugh
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Nov 23, 2012 2:13 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
1wulf
1wulf1wulfSilverton, Colorado USA22 Posts
I had to laugh, it was pretty funny and appropriate for a religion as it got the the core of it all. The threat of worshiping a deity and the salvation if believed in. Pretty hilarious if you ask me and sad too.
Its another faerie tale, a funny one but nothing redeeming about it at all. Now if I as an atheist told a story about a christian in a similar situation would you all be so relaxed about it? I say fear not for your repressive god will not harm you since he is not real, only a figment of your imaginations
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Nov 23, 2012 2:17 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
1wulf: I had to laugh, it was pretty funny and appropriate for a religion as it got the the core of it all. The threat of worshiping a deity and the salvation if believed in. Pretty hilarious if you ask me and sad too.
Its another faerie tale, a funny one but nothing redeeming about it at all. Now if I as an atheist told a story about a christian in a similar situation would you all be so relaxed about it? I say fear not for your repressive god will not harm you since he is not real, only a figment of your imaginations
Ok Ok i will slip quitely into a corner now moping I cant speak for others but been it was a JOKE and on joke thread i would take it as such !!
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Nov 23, 2012 2:18 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
freesparrow
freesparrowfreesparrowHarlingen, Texas USA10 Threads 1 Polls 1,162 Posts
It was just plain funny.rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 23, 2012 2:19 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
1wulf: I had to laugh, it was pretty funny and appropriate for a religion as it got the the core of it all. The threat of worshiping a deity and the salvation if believed in. Pretty hilarious if you ask me and sad too.
Its another faerie tale, a funny one but nothing redeeming about it at all. Now if I as an atheist told a story about a christian in a similar situation would you all be so relaxed about it? I say fear not for your repressive god will not harm you since he is not real, only a figment of your imaginations

I'm not a 'believer', but it amused me. dunno

Religious jokes are funny too.

They're only unfunny when they incite hatred, or are propagandist, that sort of thing.
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Nov 23, 2012 2:25 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
jac379: I'm not a 'believer', but it amused me.

Religious jokes are funny too.

They're only unfunny when they incite hatred, or are propagandist, that sort of thing.
I agree Jac and i am sorry if i offended anyone !!
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Nov 23, 2012 6:00 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
22W00
22W0022W00Antibes, Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur France1 Threads 313 Posts
jac379: I'm not a 'believer', but it amused me.

Religious jokes are funny too.

They're only unfunny when they incite hatred, or are propagandist, that sort of thing.


I totally agree with Jac.

I thought it was funny applause

It was posted under jokes and humour - how anyone could be offended is beyond me dunno
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Nov 23, 2012 7:39 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
Witchaywoman
WitchaywomanWitchaywomanCarpentersville, Illinois USA97 Threads 13 Polls 4,344 Posts
The funniest thing happened. A talking bear tried to eat me today! teddybear
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Nov 23, 2012 7:52 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
DaytonaDude
DaytonaDudeDaytonaDudeSouth Daytona, Florida USA33 Threads 3 Polls 2,403 Posts
Witchaywoman: The funniest thing happened. A talking bear tried to eat me today!
I don't blame him wink
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Nov 23, 2012 7:57 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
curly28
curly28curly28Perth, Western Australia Australia53 Threads 5,450 Posts
Witchaywoman: See, this joke is not a threat to an Atheist because Atheists don't believe in God or talking bears.


thumbs up rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 24, 2012 12:34 PM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
mitsos
mitsosmitsoslarnaca,famagusta, Nicosia Cyprus17 Threads 801 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing excellent
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Nov 27, 2012 2:09 AM CST An atheist was walking through the woods (Worth the read) :-)
Virgo117
Virgo117Virgo117Tbilisi, Georgia5 Threads 130 Posts
grin rolling on the floor laughing
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