Burning Bridges.... (23)
Fear of change is accurate. It is like the guilt is a living thing. Somethings that seem to come back to us in memory are because of association. Triggers I think is the correct word for them. Hell, what can I say. My ex house trained me, lol. Some of the ways I view things is because of her. She had a strong impression on me. Maybe it was the rage associated with our communication. It became the only way we could communicate. We would scream at each other like in primal scream therapy. I know today if I become in a rage state that there is a honesty that another has used and I fight accepting it. I can remember in arguments after I cooled off. Damn she is right but why do I feel guilty about it. That is the way I feel or view it. I gave up trying to win an argument with her. She was like inside my head and knew what I was going to say before I would say it. A counselor said it was codependency.
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easier to tear youself apart with what you know, than to stop and go into the unknown territory of what you might not...
Codependancy happens without another, too. As you use the memory as the the catalyst, it really is a deeper thing. Just one that stands out fresher, and safer than the deep.
Also, unresolved feelings from then, too. To allow yourself permission to move out of that...would be to let go of love you did have, even if it was disfunctional...
Codependancy happens without another, too. As you use the memory as the the catalyst, it really is a deeper thing. Just one that stands out fresher, and safer than the deep.
Also, unresolved feelings from then, too. To allow yourself permission to move out of that...would be to let go of love you did have, even if it was disfunctional...
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I said before if one respects and loves someone, freinds, or whatever...it shouldn't matter in the end.
But, you know I gotta disect the hell out of something sometimes!