Why are my threads so serious ( Archived) (29)

Reenie999 Wrote:
"I have platonic male friendships and these friendships don't involve romance in any way,shape or form."

How do you define romance?

I think we just have a different view on semantics here.

If your definition of romance has anything at all to do with becoming physically or sensually intimate in any way then it's a totally different notion than mine.

I'm emotionally romantic in everything I do, and I'm not about to try to turn that off for the sake of preventing women from misreading me. I simply couldn't relax and be myself if I had to do that. No way am I going to go out and try to be a zombie just so people don’t misread me.

I'm not a zombie and people never misread my intentions because I make those intentions clear right up front!!

For example I will never relocate and/or will never remarry, so guys know right away that if they happen to be looking for a spouse they need not waste their time on me.

BTW it's doubtful that "semantics" give these women false encouragement....and no, I was not talking about physical intimacy either.

I make no apologies for being a hopeless romantic.

Besides, I've actually become a hermit and I've avoided socializing with people altogether for almost two whole years now.

I should be given some credit for that achievement.

That's sad.....being a "hermit" I mean!!

Seriously,have you thought about volunteering?? You will lose your "hermit" status and will be doing something useful and personally rewarding.

..and the women you meet at these organizations are not likely to fall in love with you (couldn't resist that last part, LOL).

Yes, as a matter of fact, I have tried volunteering.

My sister is a social worker and she is always trying to get me to become more socially active. She suggested that I volunteer for something just to get out and about. So I decided that I'd do that.

Having been a college instructor I love teaching. So I decided I would volunteer for tutoring. I applied at for volunteer work at three different institutions; A literacy agency, The local college in my area as a tutor, and at the local library to help people with computer skills. I was rejected by all three agencies.

It never occurred to me that volunteer work would be difficult to obtain. I thought it would just be a matter of volunteering and they'd be glad to have the help. What I discovered was that each place conducts interviews not much different than applying for a job. In short, they didn’t 'hire' me for the volunteer work.

I never dreamed in my wildest imagination that I would be rejected for volunteering to do something for FREE. Talk about feeling rejected. People don't even want my free assistance.

Ironically, I felt that I was extremely qualified for any one of those three particular 'jobs'. Perhaps it was just my age, and they are having enough younger people apply. I mean, I don't know why they 'rejected' me. It was one of those, "Don't call us we'll call you" type of things so I have absolutely no clue why they never called.

Then there was an opening for a 'keyboard' instructor. Again, this was for volunteer work through a local church. This is piano keyboard. They 'students' were very young kids something like ages 6 through 9. I applied to do that. I'm not officially a music teacher. In fact, I taught myself to play the piano and only started about 2 years go myself. But come on, I have enough knowledge to teach 6 thru 9 year olds who never saw a keyboard before.

Anyway, I was rejected for that volunteer work simply because I don't have the proper 'music' experience.

Getting volunteer work is not easy. You don't just walk in and "Hey I'm here what do you want me to do?"

It's really amazing the same as applying for a job. You have to be 'hired' to do volunteer work.

I've actually been thinking about just doing it in my own home. I was thinking about putting out a sign, "Piano and violin lessons" and then when people call and ask how much I just say that they are free as a community service. But then my sister suggested not to do that because having strangers coming into my home could lead to potential law suits.

So now I'm thinking that being a hermit isn't so bad after all. People just make it too difficult to interact with them.

Trying to help other people can be hazardous to your own well being.

allow yourself to feel again... do something just for u and know that u r important... believe me i went thru that after my divorce and i had to stop and take time out just 4 me....

Things must be different where you live.

I was asked to be a member of the Board of Directors at one of our local organizations. I didn't even apply.

I am also a volunteer at Mental Health. For that I had to be fingerprinted and have a background check but that's understandable.

Our local TV station regularly asks for volunteers for our Disater Preparedness programs including non professionals for telephone and clerical duties.....and there are scads of other opportunities to numerous to mention including at our local hospitals.

Well, I do live in a very rural area, and it's a college town.

The population here is only 5,507 people (that probably includes students)

They just don't need all that many volunteers to begin with.

And when the do need volunteers they probably get plenty of students offering to do volunteer work.

I just don't live in a heavily populated area I guess.

But then again, I like rural living.

I'm not complaining mind you. I've always been a homebody.

I'd just like to have a homebody mate.

Then I'd be all set.

Er,.... I mean,....