How do we reconnect with someone that has hurt us? ( Archived) (7)

My mom really hurt me and let me down when I was a teenager because she was not there to protect me. I have forgiven her but the relationship just isn't the same because her explanation didn't comfort me in anyway. I love her and would like to reconnect with her but I can't forget the words she spoke to me.

I had the same experience with my dad, Kandie. My counselor had me write the letter I had always wanted to write to my dad. I wrote exactly how I felt about him and how I experienced him. Nothing judgemental but just my take. Dad was a person you listened to but could not talk to. It took a whole lot of writing and the counselor told me to write it like I might not send it so i wouldn't leave anything out. Then she made me send it. Dad got it and drove a long way to rehab where I was. Of course he corrected every typo and about totally rewrote my letter, lol, and even defended himself but guess what I got my two cents in, lol. He was the distant type and I hugged him there in group. He didn't hug back but he didn't walk away either, lol. Even if you can only say it in a letter you can still say it. Thing about letters is most people like letters, especially hand written. Curiousity will make them read it, lol.

Thank you for your advice Roy and think you for sharing with me.

Look at it this way, if you don't let her know how you feel now you may never get the chance.

Yeah, that's what I am afraid of.

Thank you, Earl, that is good advice. I can feel your wisdom. :)