A psychotic episode ..? ( Archived) (4)

Psychosis firstly needs to be clearly defined. It has very regimented parameters of definition and it basically means as an abnormaility of the mind with regards not being to differentiate between what is real and what is imagined. In modern parlance there are negative connotations to the word "Psycho" as being violent or mentally unhinged. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder in 05 when I had a manic episode. This is just a nicer way of saying I lost touch with reality and the world around me. There has been debate around if it is a blessing or a curse since Hippocrates of Kos referred to a person exibiting symptoms today we would call bipolar as he termed them "amic" and "melancholic".

While the mania is really a chemical imbalance with too much Dopamine hence the feeling while manic of symptoms like needing less sleep, time urgency, restlessness, needing less sleep, incessant movement, delusions, hallucinations, mistaken beliefs, suicidal ideation, and what I called "amplified emotion". while you may be aware all is not right there is a lack of insight in knowing exactly how things are wrong. Then there is the problem of severe irritability when told that the delusional state you are in is problematic.

while I have experienced mania, profound depression I find the stability on meds to be a rather nice place to be. while the feeling of mania is pleasurable along with an abandonment of reason and rational thinking I also think subconsciously it is a roller coaster I would rather not have been on. but also I accept that the illness has given me gifts that perhaps would never have been as accessible without the experiences I have been through, I am a writer and poet and I find the condition is a thread weaved through every word I have ever written. it is this dichotomy, antipodes and duality of experience that a person with bipolar affective disorder has felt. there is a payment for wellness, the medications leave your emotions stifled, numbed and you can watch something profound and intellectually feel sad yet have no tears to cry.

I wrote a book in 2012 about making a quick recovery from bipolar. within 22 months I was in Australia backpacking for a year. it has been five years since I have seen a psychiatrist I attend my G.P once every three years to check in. Devising ways to feel like music and poems, reducing stress a major trigger for episodes, not taking street drugs and drinking excessively also helps in maintaining the ballast of a mind prone to mood disturbances .hope this helps you

Best Wishes,

Dave