Not hotel mama. (8)

Rental apartments in Malmö are expensive and not easy to get. It can take 5-6 years of being registered in a queue, with the big rental housing companies, before you get an apartment. It's quicker if you rent 2nd hand, but if people rent out their apartments illegally, you're left homeless in less than 1 month.

My older son 31, and my youngest child 27, moved in with me few months ago, because they both have a low income. I rent a 2 bedroom apartment, with enough space blocked off in the livingroom for privacy with a single bed, so that's how we're living.

Today, I met someone downtown, who I haven't seen in almost 2 years, she asked another my children, somehow, the conversation got on the financial side, and when she heard that the two living with me have to pay part of the rent, she said I was being "unfair towards my children,".....they each pay less than 1/3 of the rent, but have to buy their own food and toiletries. The woman and her husband, own a house, and their 2 children aged 20 and 25, live at home, and pay nothing.

Growing up, my mom always said "there's no such thing as hotel mama." She made sure that the 6 of us, even the boys, knew how to wash, cook, and take care of a household. We even paid her a small part of our salaries for rent and food, I taught my 3 children the same.

Am I being unfair to my grown children by having them pay rent, after all it's something they would have to do, if and when their finances improve, and they move out again.

Probably not charge full whack but they should definitely be contributing something towards board.

"If you want to teach your children to be responsible in life, then do that. Most of the elites life-styles seem to teach their children to feel entitle......."

@ Friendship4ever: I agree with you about the responsibility and the feeling of entitlement. Until a year ago, I worked 6 years taking care of children aged 1 - 14, and I must say, the majority of them have no respect for adults, don't know how to be responsible, expect us to "run and pick up" after them, and seem to think that we adults owe them everything. I was glad when I decided to go back to working with the elderly, they're much more appreciative, and I still learn something "new" in a positive way, from them most days.

I applaud you for looking after your adult children when they can’t afford a place for themselves. I would have done the same if I was ever put into that position.

They pay even less than a 1/3 of the overall costs......rent, housing insurance, electricity, internet, even if they were to rent a room in someone's apartment, they'd have to pay more than they pay me. They buy their own food and toiletries, as well as are responsible for keeping their rooms and the kitchen clean. I clean my room and the toilet/bathroom.

Thanks Coldheaven: They say a mothers love never dies, and no matter how old they are, they'll always be our children, but I refuse to treat my adult children as thought they're small children.

You are doing the right thing.if you need help from your adult children then they should by rights be helping to keep a roof over all your heads .