Person is married, not been happy for a long time and from afar loved another. Conveyed that love to this guy, eventually and both fell in love. Both feel as soulmates. Carrying on a secret relatiohship for almost 3 years. The woman, having this love very deep love for this guy...feels for whatever reason she can't leave her husband until kids are older (one is 18 the other is 16). Like a further duty must be fullfilled. Seems there is some family in play, fear is that she would get isolated and/or he might get stupid in some fashion.
Well, I waited until my son was 20 before I finally left my husband. He was standing on his own feet by then and I felt, well, kind of free to go. I always felt that my duty towards my son came before my own wishes
mbcaseyNorth Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA16,449 posts
my own personal belief is she should have never had the affair until her marriage was dissolved.
But in her situation now, she should come clean with her husband and tell him the truth. Let the husband make the decision weather to stay in the marriage or not. That's the least she should do.
I don't believe in staying together for the kids...I divorced my husband when my kids were 2....The kids always know and faking a marriage for the kids sake is not healthy for them or the adults in the marriage!!!!
You are only teaching them how to be in a superficial relationship based on duty and not love....Yes it's nice for children to have 2 parents but two parents that love each other and get along....not remain together out of obligation so they wont feel guilty!!!!!
mbcaseyNorth Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA16,449 posts
Don't feel bad shyone--you did what you thought was the right thing. And that is your decision to make. Everyone's situation is different, so your decision was probably best for your situation.
That wasnt meant for you shyone it was just general and based on my own experience and opinion....Every person and situation is different and I commend you for being able to make it work long enough for your children to grow up and sacrificing your own happiness in the meantime!!!!!
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Thoughts?