Deadbeat Dads (20)
I won't comment on this one other than to say
Pucks - it's good to know that there are some really good dads out there. (and good moms)
Pucks - it's good to know that there are some really good dads out there. (and good moms)
I treasure the time with my kids, and would have them more if it were possible.
But I understand why men leave. The Family Justice System is sooooo biased against men it is rediculous. Believe me, I could cry you a raging river right now, but suffice to say when someone feels treated unfairly they will rebel.
Whether they do it to avoid the money, or to get back at mommy, the kids really will lose out. It has been extremely difficult for me, but I will always be here for my boys.
But I understand why men leave. The Family Justice System is sooooo biased against men it is rediculous. Believe me, I could cry you a raging river right now, but suffice to say when someone feels treated unfairly they will rebel.
Whether they do it to avoid the money, or to get back at mommy, the kids really will lose out. It has been extremely difficult for me, but I will always be here for my boys.
Humans do things at times that are questionable. Every situation is diferent, and once you get to know the real issues you will undserstand the why's. Some men are married, some are not, some know they have kids some do not.... So no matter how hard you try to change the scenarios, it isn't happening for the kids. So, be the best dad that you can be, and your kids will love you for that.
well i was talking about the dads who KNOW they have kids.
and married or not how should that matter?
and married or not how should that matter?
I've known and know both deadbeat dads and moms(how sad). In my case he has never paid support in 7 yrs,each time we've been about to go to court he quits his job but who cares I've been doing it on my own and will continue to do so that's the way it is. What makes me mad though is my daughter knows her dad,I've never tried to keep her from him but he could care less.I remember he even lived next door to us for a while and he wouldn't let her visit him,try explaining that to a 2 yr old.
I thinks she's seen him 3 times in the past 4 yrs,but hey,he thinks he's a good dad.
Doesn't call or write to her but expects her to talk to him when he does call....right.When asked about his behavior his answer is 'I have no reason to worry,I know u take good care of her'
Some guys are meant to be dad's and some just aren't,same for some women.
I thinks she's seen him 3 times in the past 4 yrs,but hey,he thinks he's a good dad.
Doesn't call or write to her but expects her to talk to him when he does call....right.When asked about his behavior his answer is 'I have no reason to worry,I know u take good care of her'Some guys are meant to be dad's and some just aren't,same for some women.
I can speak out of experience here. My kids dad is a deadbeat. He is around every once in awhile but it is never good. He thinks buying a few gifts and spoiling them every few months makes him a dad...(we live 5 minutes apart)
His reasoning is simple. I left and it is my fault that he is not in their lives. (or so he thinks). He thinks that he will never meet another woman who would be ok with the kids and seeing me happy pisses him off (awwwe princess
).
It is more or less a control thing. He knows that if he picks the kids up I will be free to do what I want and that is something he is not ready to let happen. I think in some sick way he thinks that it is revenge... Well it bothers me none that he is not around cause I think my children are better off without him..(he doesnt have very big shoes to fill) and I play both roles just effin fine
His reasoning is simple. I left and it is my fault that he is not in their lives. (or so he thinks). He thinks that he will never meet another woman who would be ok with the kids and seeing me happy pisses him off (awwwe princess
). It is more or less a control thing. He knows that if he picks the kids up I will be free to do what I want and that is something he is not ready to let happen. I think in some sick way he thinks that it is revenge... Well it bothers me none that he is not around cause I think my children are better off without him..(he doesnt have very big shoes to fill) and I play both roles just effin fine
Be nice if my ex paid hers..Seems the only thing she didn't get was the kids and being who I am I won't push it any farther..regardless of what passed ..I think there are many reasons men won't pay..biggest excuse I've heard is "Doesn't get spent on the kids" and that is pretty lame really..
If he had an affair, and it's kept under wrap....pardon the expresion....then the offspring of that affair/s won't likely get to see him. However, although he is married to someone else, he is still legally responsible for supporting All his offsprings.
In some cases it's not that the man doesn't want anything to do with the kids, it's the other party or family members that has been a source of ongoing turmoil i.e mental cruelty (child not home when he calls, child not home when he arrives to pick him/her up for weekend visits,... support funds for kids diverted elswewhere, and kids have nothing to eat etc etc
Another thing , if the mother has remarry, it can becomes a bit stressful with the hauling and pulling here and there, as to who get to go when and where. I am not suggesting this is your case either. But there is a saying "you see me on the outside, but you don't know yet what's going on inside.... seeing(dating) and marrying are two different things.
In some cases it's not that the man doesn't want anything to do with the kids, it's the other party or family members that has been a source of ongoing turmoil i.e mental cruelty (child not home when he calls, child not home when he arrives to pick him/her up for weekend visits,... support funds for kids diverted elswewhere, and kids have nothing to eat etc etc
Another thing , if the mother has remarry, it can becomes a bit stressful with the hauling and pulling here and there, as to who get to go when and where. I am not suggesting this is your case either. But there is a saying "you see me on the outside, but you don't know yet what's going on inside.... seeing(dating) and marrying are two different things.
Mychelle, good points. but i still dont see how this could stop a dad from seeing there kids. It would only happen if the dad didnt want to be around or involved.
You have only to take a look at the media, and you can see for yourself at least 2 men trying desperately to see their kids, and the mothers put out all the stops.
My ex thinks she is punishing me for our failed marriage by "keeping" the kids, and sending me the bill. If she would grow up, she would do what is best FOR THE KIDS and move closer so I could see them more, and they could see me more. I have a great and close relationship with both my boys, but she really tries to choke it.
I could quit my career and move to her local, but it would cost me $$$$thousands and thousands, and I would not likely get a break too quick through the courts on support. They would give her an adjustment period, and my support is of course based on my current income. Kind of stuck... I am now looking at other options.
I could quit my career and move to her local, but it would cost me $$$$thousands and thousands, and I would not likely get a break too quick through the courts on support. They would give her an adjustment period, and my support is of course based on my current income. Kind of stuck... I am now looking at other options.
It is good to read your side of the story, and what you have said happens quite often. Some women goes to great lenght to isolate the father from his kids, while bashing him in court for child support.
Thanks for your understanding, it has been most difficult.
I am looking at moving now that I am single. I could move to her local as stated, or go up north and make better money in Alberta, hopefully enough to fly back and see the kids as much as I do now. I don't want to reduce my time for the sake of the money, but I am sick of being broke. My ex has a new Toyota though...
I am looking at moving now that I am single. I could move to her local as stated, or go up north and make better money in Alberta, hopefully enough to fly back and see the kids as much as I do now. I don't want to reduce my time for the sake of the money, but I am sick of being broke. My ex has a new Toyota though...
Regina,
i wish you all the best and hope things work out.
I still would not allow my ex to keep my kids away from me.(she wouldnt try anyway). I feel bad for those people that dont see the need for both parents to be involved in the care and upbringing up their kids. This of course assuming both parents are good providers. I realize some are not and for those of you who are single parents with deadbeat dads i can understand this. But if the dad wants to be involved he has every right. No women would ever keep my kids away. Not going to happen no matter what the circumstances are...no way.
i wish you all the best and hope things work out.
I still would not allow my ex to keep my kids away from me.(she wouldnt try anyway). I feel bad for those people that dont see the need for both parents to be involved in the care and upbringing up their kids. This of course assuming both parents are good providers. I realize some are not and for those of you who are single parents with deadbeat dads i can understand this. But if the dad wants to be involved he has every right. No women would ever keep my kids away. Not going to happen no matter what the circumstances are...no way.
What bugs me about my girls father isn't the lack of support(would be nice but hey pigs rn't about to fly) it's the lack of contact he has with her,not because he can't but because it's just too much to ask. Then on the rare occassions he does call he expects her to drop everything and be overjoyed to hear from him and he gets mad when she won't talk to him.
Can one of the dads explain that point of view to me,not that i'm saying it's a male thing but i would like a guys point of view.
Can one of the dads explain that point of view to me,not that i'm saying it's a male thing but i would like a guys point of view.
wow. i cannot explain it coz i am nothing like that. I have contact (daily) with my kids.
I just dont understand dads like this...hence the reason for this thread topic.
I just dont understand dads like this...hence the reason for this thread topic.
Unfortunately there are more like him then there are like you and the other dads here.
That's strange, I have the exact same problem but completely opposite. The mom instead of dad. Expecting to drop everything and jump for joy. I think in my case she pushes the child out of her life hoping to get better responses from the child by growing fonder next time around. Very childish and thoughtless, and damaging. Mean, to say the least.
Honestly I think there could be a few different reasons for different people. Jealousy, so they push it away cause it hurts.....
Stubbornness, stupidity, just plain don't care. The other parent is often detached from the feelings and emotions that go on within the child. In these cases it's most of the reason the children are not with them.
Honestly I think there could be a few different reasons for different people. Jealousy, so they push it away cause it hurts.....
Stubbornness, stupidity, just plain don't care. The other parent is often detached from the feelings and emotions that go on within the child. In these cases it's most of the reason the children are not with them.
Stupidity sounds good to me lol.I'm not being a nay sayer just stating a fact?
It's not as if he's never been given the chance to be with her,he lived next door!!!!!
Believe it or not(demon can vouch) he has spent 8 hrs alone with her since she was born,and at that time she was under 2 so she slept all the time while I was at work.
I can understand a person not wanting to be in someone's life but to decide to drop in when it suits them is as u said mean,and then to have the b...... to say they're a good parent? Must have slept through class that day cause I don't get it.
It's not as if he's never been given the chance to be with her,he lived next door!!!!!
Believe it or not(demon can vouch) he has spent 8 hrs alone with her since she was born,and at that time she was under 2 so she slept all the time while I was at work.
I can understand a person not wanting to be in someone's life but to decide to drop in when it suits them is as u said mean,and then to have the b...... to say they're a good parent? Must have slept through class that day cause I don't get it.
More Threads
Happy Birthday MysteriousGirl80
the way you look
The Best of the GOP
Common Issues with the BMW X1
men's perspective towards women
your personality
wanting beyond need
Don Shits-In-Pants!!!
Feel Good Music
rarotonga
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
913 Views
19 Comments
Created: May 2007
Last Viewed: May 3
Last Commented: May 2007
0 Likes
I could never do this to my kids. I am there daily. Always have always will. I could never understand why dads bail on there kids.
So dads whats your story? is it to get out of child support? piss off the mom? pride? revenge? embarassment?