Hi! I just have to ask... what is the deal with people.... I state that I don't think that children fit into my life style and so I don't think that I want them and then I get these horrid replies from people. I don't say I HATE kids.. I don't bash people with kids I just say that they don't fit my life. And because of this I get "hate" mail.... whats up with that? Are there any other people out there that feel like me? Or am I the only woman/human/person out there that doesn't have that maternal instinct..?
i can't answer your question but you seem new to the forums so i can say welcome!
the one's that write you stupid mail ...block them, period. don't even bother tryin to figure it out... unless of course he's so dropdead gorgeous you feel compelled to !....
sooo many points of view , if ya start to take any of them personally yer doomed...
WHAT'S UP YOU WILD WOMAN!!!!! I havn't talk to you in SOOO LONG!!
Anyway....my opinion about kiddos, Children are a gift from God! Some people just have that maternal instinct, they have better things to do, NOT that that is a bad thing!!! My aunt is a teacher and comes from a HUGE family who have HUGE families, however she says she has 32 children at school and that's FINE by her!! So I say...TO EACH HIS OWN!!! Don't worry about it love! WELCOME TO CS!!!!
It's ur own personal preference and u need to make no excuses for it. I'm having a similar problem. I had a hysterectomy in August so i can't have anymore kids. I already have a 15yr old so i didn't really want to start over again but at least i had the choice. Now, men don't even wanna talk to me since i can't give them children. It was never an issue when i could have em but now that i can't it seems every guy i meet, online or in person, wants kids of their own. I can understand where they're comin from but why let a good woman pass u by when there's other ways to have kids together? Oh well, this is definately a hot debate for us in here. Btw, welcome to the forums. Have fun!!
Alex u are such a sweet lady and thank you. I do have tons of support. My recovery was rough but i'm alllll better now and wantin to try out my new and improved body parts. Hahahaha You're right tho, it is a big reality adjustment. Like i said, i wasn't sure i even wanted more kids but now that choice is gone forever it kinda makes me sad and unfortunately for my daughter, makes me cling to her even more. LOL
hmmmm i have a feeling cling is not the good word here , besides you don't strike me as clingy ... how about an awakened appreciation? even more than before...
Well thank you ladies, you have helped me to raise another issue that is related but I am having huge problems with....!! I have gone to my physician and we have discussed my getting a hysterectomy and he flately refuses to even talk about it with me because he says "you are young, you are pretty, you don't know what you want or when you meet a guy you don't know what he will want, leave your options open..." yes yes yes I know there are many points that I might sure the man over but that is not my intent.. I just wanna get snipped not make people lose their jobs..... and the supply of Doctors here in Canada is completely lacking so i can't see switching Drs. as an idea, I 've gone so far as to get a few other "opinions" and they are all basically the same. I mean I am 30 yrs. old (ouch) I surely know what I want and don't want by now..... sigh...... just wondered if other ladies out there ahve had this argument and wondered what you said to make these "caring" men understand! lol
yea about that most dr.s will not preform one unless it's medically nessacary..and in texas you cant even have ur tubes tied unless your over the age of 21 and have at least 2 kids unless its medically necassary..
Myself, I'm done having kids. Had that problem snipped. :) I'm looking forward to grand-kids if and when my two boys have families of their own. I dated a woman my age who had two grown children on their own plus two more late in life ages 5 and 6. Those two youngens were hellions and convinced me that I don't want to raise young children again. Didn't matter in the end once I found out I wasn't the only one she was sleeping with. When it comes to someone with kids, I don't mind if they are teens
I have two younger siblings who feel exactly the same as you do. I think people think they will change their minds when they get older. (They are 24 and 27) But I think they truly have decided that children are not something they want in their lives. Better to make that decison and be happy than to have children you didn't really want and try to raise them. Raising kids is hard work. It is not a taks that should be undertaken by the unwilling.
Good luck finding someone who's desires in that regard are compatible with yours.
They will give you a hard time about those surgeries if you do not have children. It is for good reason though, if you change your mind, it might not be possible to reverse.
I read the thread where everybody got their knickers in a knot... You have the right to your own opinion and who you decide to hang with.... Sure there are some who are bent out of shape sending you some dirt mail so like Alex says block em... I have a child, but I still talk to you....so we're not all bad...
CautiousSingleSouthern, British Columbia Canada697 posts
Pookiebuns
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I am almost 40 and childless by choice. I don't hate children, I'm not narcisistic, I'm not immature, not spoiled, just chose not to have a child. I can still be caring, loving, compassionate, blabhblabhblah with others. I've learned to accept the stigma. What really gets my knickers in a twist is the double- standard. Men who are almost 40 and are childless - they aren't plagued by the same stereotypes.
I agree with you folks, to each his/her own...no one has the right to dictate how another should live.
On the same topic of "what is the deal with kids...", I'm a single dad of three...not looking for a mom for the kids at all but it seems people have the assumption that as a man I can't handle being a dad and NEED a woman here to look after my children for me...Had a couple of messages along this line so far and its been less than a week.
Awefully presumptious in my opinion, these women don't even know me or know anything of my relationship with my kids...
CautiousSingleSouthern, British Columbia Canada697 posts
Hi Newbie
Good point - to be honest I would be one of those women making assumptions about a single parent. Its wrong - thump on the head to me..... I guess that's why I prefer to seek men who either don't have kids, or their "kids" are adults.
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