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1. Puppies won't ask you if it's the best puppy you've
ever had.
2. A puppy always comes to you when you call it.
3. If you show affection for a puppy, it returns it with no strings attached.
4. All you need to do for a puppy to love you forever is feed it and not beat it with heavy blunt objects.
5. Puppies love you unconditionally.
6. It's OK if your PUPPY gets fleas from another puppy.
7. You can put a puppy on a leash and snap it
back if it tries to sniff other puppies.
8. Your puppy will never leave you for your
roommate, best friend, or someone with bigger
breasts / more money / better looks / a better body / etc.
9. Puppies urinating in the front lawn is normal.
10. Puppies don't "bite the hand that feeds them."
11. Puppies are easier to train to do simple tasks.
12. A puppy never conspires with other puppies to play with your mind.
13. Puppies never leave en masse to check out
puppies in the other room.
14. A puppy won't give you a lot of backtalk for no apparent reason.
15. You can train your puppy to do tricks--like play dead "all day."
16. If you have a neighbor you don't like, you won't be as embarrassed if your Puppy poops all over his lawn.
17. Puppies don't even pretend to know how
to fix whatever they break.
18. Puppies won't get jealous of all of your male friends.
19. Neutering your boyfriend, as practical as it may seem, is harder to justify.
20. A Puppy's face in the toilet bowl is less
alarming.
21. Puppies don't leave the toilet seat up.
22. Puppies don't have to show other puppies
that it's "the puppy of its house."
23. Puppies attract men; boyfriends drive them away.
24. Puppies don't do dishes, but at least they attempt to lick their own plate clean.
25. Puppies won't ask "Why don't you look like THAT?" when watching TV.
26. Puppies actually look attractive with a full body of hair.
27. Puppies don't mind staying home with the
kids.
28. Because puppies can't read maps; they
have a GOOD excuse for getting lost.
29. Puppies don't have double-standards.
30. There's no such thing as an EX-puppy...