How to make a fruitcake ( Archived) (7)

1 c water
1 c sugar
4 large eggs
2 c dried fruit
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 c brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 full bottle of your favourite whiskey

Directions:
sample the whiskey to check for quality.take a large bowl.check the whiskey to be sure that its of the highest quality.pour one lever cup adn drink.repeat.turn off the electric mixer - beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.add one tsp sugar and beat again.be sure that the whiskey is still okay.cry another tup.turn off the mixer.break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.mic on the turner.if the fried fruit gets stuck in da beaterers , pry it loose with a drwescriver.sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.next,sift two cups of salt.or something.who cares.check the whiskey.now sift the lemon juice and strain yr nuts.add one table.spoon.of sugar or something.whatever u can find.grease the oven.turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.dont forget to beat off the turner.throw the bowl out the window.check the whiskey again.go to bed.

Who the h.ll likes fruitcakes anyway?

Well if you take the time to cook the thing I'll take the time to eat it

I'll bring my own vodka though that whisky's done it's job