Intentions (9)
Intentions and being upfront, honest and well heard in them is important, specially online when you cant always look into each others eyes...going on blind faith has its drawbacks and people do to tend to get hurt...i have read alittle of what happened with you two and in my opinion i think it was all good and well and fun and she had those intentions and meant what she said at the time. then when the time came and she was actually confronted with the absolute???? living in that online world for so long and then suddenly its going to be REAL can be scary for some people. if she still wants to be together and so do you...open your arms and life and mind...what have us dreamers got to lose anyhow? little losses we all been through and know we can live through again or a big reward of love and happiness that we may never have the chance to find again...
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This is your daughter you're talking about?
Doesn't matter what her intentions are.
At some point, and usually multiple times, children hurt their parents, sometimes unintentionally. All part of growing for them, all part of being a parent for us.
Doesn't matter what her intentions are.
At some point, and usually multiple times, children hurt their parents, sometimes unintentionally. All part of growing for them, all part of being a parent for us.
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Thank you for the replies. No Windy my daughter will always have my love no matter where I am and she understands that someday I may be moving away. I am speaking of the relationship I have with a woman that is miles and miles away. Sorry for the confusion.
Mike
Mike
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, yes, confused.
That's a horse of a different color.
Scary.
No comment, just fear.
LOL
That's a horse of a different color.
Scary.
No comment, just fear.
LOL
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Thank you Dreamer. And you're right in that being a dreamer of large dreams does come with as many losses as it does rewards.
You're also correct that we have done this for so long and now that the time has come that it can be made real she has got to be scared. I want to help her if she would only allow me too, I don't deserve to be left out in the cold wondering.
Confused
You're also correct that we have done this for so long and now that the time has come that it can be made real she has got to be scared. I want to help her if she would only allow me too, I don't deserve to be left out in the cold wondering.
Confused
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at some point you and/or her need to make a final choice...its not fair to either of you to keep it hangin out there like that and waiting for something that may or may not happen...in my opinion its time to really have a good heart to heart and make that choice of being together or not...both of you could be moving on if its not going to do anything but sit and fester as it is, you are hurting and enough is enough already...sounds to me like the trust was already broken too...peeking around every corner expecting the worst is no way to live...
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Exactly my point to her Dreamer. If only she would communicate with me. I haven't spoken with her in weeks now and this is not by my choice. I call and talk to her answering machine. When I would try to have a serious discussion it would always, always end quickly with some sort of words like: I don't want to have this discussion now, or I'm not up to this discussion now, or simply Poof and she's gone.
We've put almost an entire decade into this though. If I would have said enoughs enough the first time she wouldn't communicate oh so many years ago I would not be writing this today. So I chose to walk this path with her because the love I have for her is that strong.
As far as trust, I do trust that she is not sleeping with other men. How can I be certain? Theres no answer for that. I also have not been sleeping with other women, how can she be sure of this? She can't. So the trust is there. We've been doing this long enough that those little signals and signs would have shown but they never have.
Which brings me to this connecting singals website. I have sent out a few emails to ladies because inside I suppose I already know that it is way past time to move on. I'm just having a hard time dealing with the question: do I, or don't I move on. Or rather Can I, or Can't I move on without her.
Thank you all so much for letting me get this out and for being here to kinda help me through this. The sad thing is she doesn't have this to help her through what she must be going through. Or does she? I just don't know.
Total confusion
Mike
We've put almost an entire decade into this though. If I would have said enoughs enough the first time she wouldn't communicate oh so many years ago I would not be writing this today. So I chose to walk this path with her because the love I have for her is that strong.
As far as trust, I do trust that she is not sleeping with other men. How can I be certain? Theres no answer for that. I also have not been sleeping with other women, how can she be sure of this? She can't. So the trust is there. We've been doing this long enough that those little signals and signs would have shown but they never have.
Which brings me to this connecting singals website. I have sent out a few emails to ladies because inside I suppose I already know that it is way past time to move on. I'm just having a hard time dealing with the question: do I, or don't I move on. Or rather Can I, or Can't I move on without her.
Thank you all so much for letting me get this out and for being here to kinda help me through this. The sad thing is she doesn't have this to help her through what she must be going through. Or does she? I just don't know.
Total confusion
Mike
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Dreamer you're not being harsh at all. Actually you spell it out just as I have tried so hard to convince myself for a long while. This story goes way further than what has been written here of course. My brutal honesty (Being Scorpio an all) has been a contributing factor in the end result of this relationship I know. However..... When her and I first met she was married to a verbally abusive man. Her first words to me in 1997 were: Please Mike help me feel alive again. She knew right from the start what my feelings were getting mixed up with a married woman in the first place (NOT GOOD), however it took a full year of her and I talking and helping her through some very hard times that we fell in love. One full year after meeting online we met in person and that love came true for us both. Two years after that innitial meeting she's still married but has had him removed from the house by the man. So things are looking better for her and for us. She's starting to feel alive again (Just as she asked me for help to do). Now comes five years into the relationship, she's still legally married, I have been to her world 3 times, she has been to my world -0- times. So I say to her point blank that it's time for her to show me that she loves me. I bought the plane ticket, she comes to visit. All is good right? I thought so. July of 2001 came, I went to her world again, 9/11/01 came and I was home with my daughter and family, October 2001 I was on a train to go back to her world because she is also a priority for me and after 9/11 I wanted her to know that. October of 2003 she comes here for the second time (I buy the ticket once again and drive her from PA. to Mississippi to meet another online friend). December of 2003 we both go back to her world for christmas. Christmas 2004 was spent in her world as well, as was my 39th and 40th birthdays. Now nine years into this relationship she is still legally married and I am still alone. She has used my trust to the point that getting trust back is going to take some time. Sorry for being so long winded but I have been very hurt by this woman to the point of damn near giving up.
Still confused in PA.
Mike
Still confused in PA.
Mike
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Created: Feb 2006
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Intentions and making intentions known is important for a growing relationship.
Confused in Pennsylvania
Mike