I need some honest opinions.... ( Archived) (12)

So look heres my problem... I started dateing this girl about 2 years ago... She has a daughter "Emma"... When I came into the picture Emmas father was nowhere to be found... I mean when she went into the hospital with pnumonia he didn't call till a week after she got out... Well needless to say I'm Emmas "daddy" and I can't even imagion giving this up... So I'm with this girl for 2 years and now she up and says she wants to try to work things out with him... I don't know what to do.... I've been her friend for 8 years... I want to be there for her, but looking at her tears my heart out... I know that I love her... more than I've ever loved anyone in my life... She still tells me she loves me... but she's happy with him... I feel like a yo-yo... when it's just me and her she still looks at me the way she always has... but I can tell all of this is tearing her apart too... I don't know what to do... I love her... I'm never going to stop loveing her... Here I sit with her tearing out my heart and stomping on it... But as much as I try I can't be mad at her.... I think I messed up... I think I found my soul mate, and I lost her.... She is still letting me see Emma, so thats good... But I know that it bothers him... So I'm afraid that I might be setting myself up to be hurt again... Emma wants me, she still asks for me, I don't think they would try to deny her... but who's to say that next week I may never get to see her again.... I don't know what to do.... I love Emma, I love her mother.... I feel like I'm wandering around in a dark room listening to my own cries.... I feel soooo aloan...

Oh my, that's a horrific situation.

Truly broke my heart.

No advice to be given here. Momma sounds confused and you'll need to decide if you want to ride out the storm or save yourself.

As far as the child situation...single parents, take heed to the emotion a child can bring into a relationship and never take that responsibility lightly.

If I could think about myself for a moment... maybe I would try to rescue my heart... but the fact of the matter is that I can't even begin to think of myself... I'm too busy being worried about the 2 of them....

legally you don't have a leg to stand on unless you oficially adopted the child. I have been there too my friend and this is not an easy road to travel.

Precisely why no advice can really be given, besides the obvious to protect yourself.

But can't change the heart.

Does it make sense that when I try to think of myself it just upsets me... Makes me feel selfish... Like I need to be more worried about one of my oldest friends, and my daughter... It's weird when you find things that matter more to you than yourself....

That is the simplest explanation of love. You should be grateful to have felt it, no matter the outcome. Lovely life experience.

And again, no matter the outcome, you will always think/worry about them. Real, intense love doesn't fade.

If this is a fresh situation. Give it time, relax, and be there for her with no pressure. May be temporary confusion, although painful for you.

You'll come to a point and know when you truly can't tolerate anymore of the emotional tug o' war.

Not much help, huh?

If you're thinking of Emma first, and your envolvement with her is causing difficulties in her mother's relationship the time may come to walk away. Your ability to be in her life is "unstable" at best. How good is it for her to grow more attached to you if you can be ripped away from her at any moment?

trust me these are things I've thought of... But I just can't bring myself to tell her good-bye....