My first attempt ( Archived) (10)

Ok, you all write such beautiful poems.

I have never written one before, so here is my first attempt... I was compelled to do soo... hehehee


Last breath....


His eyes are closed, and the day comes to an end.
How could I have been so lucky to win this man.
My heart skips a beat, as he stirs in the night,
I am drawn to him, his love is my light.
I drift off to sleep, with him by my side,
I dream of growing old, and swing on the porch outside.
As dawn rolls around, the new sunlight hit’s his face.
I know by his side, is to be my place.
I will do anything for this man, the one that I love
I know that this match was made from above.
As the angels pushed us together, I felt all along
With him by my side, nothing will ever go wrong.
He’s there to kiss my tears away as I’ve had a bad day,
I long to love this man, until my dying day.





Ok be gentle!!



Susan

very beautiful i love it

Awesome hon!! I got goosebumps.

Awe! thats so cute! *runs up and gives you a hug* Anyway, who cares about other people's opinons on your poems, its total self expression! whooo! All my poems sound like rock songs, and some involve spam!

Allen

Susan,
There was not a thing wrong with your first attempt at poetry. Even if it would have been a horrible poem (Which it certainly was not) poems come from the heart. So does it really matter what anyone thinks of your poem when the words are coming from that special place that is only inside of you?

I enjoyed your poem, thank you

Mike

OMg I love you guys.... You are the best!!!!

thank you soo much..

I got goosebumps writing it... all I could see was his face... in my mind... as I was writing it... Oh boy.. melting here!


thank you.. I know I wanted to share how I felt. this is the most amazing feeling in the world. I haven't felt this magnitude before.. I really do feel like a teenager.. my every thought is consumed by him.. Oh man... gush gush.. hahaha


You are all the best.. thanks!

susan

Susan,


Wonderful,and expressing love,your heart
wide open..There will be many more as your love
grows sweety..The man is very lucky angel...chance..

beautiful you thanks for sharing

Beautiful... You can now put yourself amongst others here...