Kids and the "Other Side" of the family ( Archived) (12)

My daughter just turned 13, she doesn't live with me but we do stay in close contact. She respects her daddy and what he has to say.
I read to her and taught her things that she uses in every day life. We'd sit and watch Blues Clues and other educatonal tv shows for hours together. She's a great kid turning into a fine young woman. Straight A student in school and has a lot of good ole common sense.
It just hurts when her mothers side of the family makes plans for the time she is too be with me. And all I can do is say ok Love, give me a call when you can. Which of course she will.
When she was a baby 3-5 and I would go to pick her up every other weekend like clockwork she would scream and yell that she did not want to go to my house. One day several times later I found out the real reason why. Uhhhhh Pappa " " doesn't like you and says you're a bad man daddy. So this idiot who is suppose to love his grandbaby was doing this terrible thing just because he didn't like me. Using his own grandchild like this is disgusting.
Just now I get a phone call from her saying that her uncle " " is taking her somewhere on saturday and that she won't be coming again this weekend. Of course too which I replied OK Love give me a call on Sunday.
Of course everyone justifies these actions with: She's just growing up Mike which is partially true and partially the doings of the other side of her family.

It hurts being a Father that wants to be a part of his daughters life but is stepped on every chance the "Other side" of the family has the opportunity, which seems to be every other weekend.

awww mike that sucks i'm sorry to hear that ..though if you have ordered vistitation you could have that taken care of the ex could be held in contempt of court

Mike,
I was in this situation my whole life till I got married. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with my dad, it was hard leavin my friends and family, you know the things that I was use too day in and out. If she's 13, her life is startin to change. No matter what "THE OTHER SIDE" is saying about you, I'm sure she's a smart girl and knows that her daddy loves her and wants to be apart of her life. The thing is, she's gonna start bein "busy" all the time now. Being the noncustodial parent you have to find different things to keep her interested in being with daddy. I'm not sayin buy her, or give into her, nothing like that. At that age ya gotta keep it interesting tho, short attention spans start all over again.

Yes I could txangel, however I believe that would shove the wedge even further. Like I said she is a very smart kid that does have good common sense so I am working off the faith that she sees beyond the glitter that they show her. Before a kid turns 10 waving a dollar bill infront of their faces will get them to go anywhere with you.

Actually she doesn't go to her other grandparents much anymore because she is getting to the age and realizing what he is like. Which is quite sad actually. So I just shut my mouth and move forward making sure she knows I love her and always will. I'm stronger than letting this get to me.

That's the best I can do without putting a wedge between my daughter and myself.

Thank you txangel
Mike

OpenHonest,
You are so right in that she is growing up and this is a part of her growing up. Yes I try finding things that would interest her when she is with me to keep her coming back. Like tomorrow, even though she's not coming to my house again she asked if I could take her and a friend to the skating rink. Which of course I said yes. I have to show her that my love for her is unconditional and even though "The other side" has done this again I will do this for her instead of saying some fool thing like: Well have your uncle " " take you if he wants you to go with him.

Thank you OpenHonest
Mike

yeah you have a point there but i still wish you the best with it .. hope things go better for you and her..

Glad to hear you're not letting your anger at the "other side" of the family creep into your relationship with your daughter. That's more then can be said for them. Your daughter is still learning from you even if you don't get to see her as often as you like.

best wishes

Exctly!

She is learning even though I'm not there or she's not here. This can be a very cruel world for a kid coming from a broken family (Or any kid for that matter).

Thanks Ocee
Mike

Mike,

Based on what you've said here I've got a lot of respect for you. She will grow into a young woman and make the choices for herself who she will have in her life...and from the looks of it you will be a part of that.

Trev