What is a really funny joke that you know? (12)
Well
there's nothing like a good joke
and
that was nothing like a good joke
there's nothing like a good joke
and
that was nothing like a good joke
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Wwwwwwwwwaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy
too long for a sunday morning....
too long for a sunday morning....
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To keep you busy this sunday.....
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Parachutes
One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.
"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.
Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.
Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man should have a parachute, too." He grabbed a pack, and out he jumped.
The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane." The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry, pop. The world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."
One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.
"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.
Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.
Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man should have a parachute, too." He grabbed a pack, and out he jumped.
The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane." The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry, pop. The world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."
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Good jokes you have
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what is the pitch line-it was so long i fell asleep-did i miss it??
you have a good
Loved that one....laughed out loud, or lol
At an unspecified Primary school a Year 6 teacher asked her class,
"Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should
not be asking Year 6 children a question like that!" "I'm going to tell
my parents, and they will go and tell the Headteacher, who will then fire you!"
With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.
The teacher ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body
part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her,
"Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class,
"Anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part
that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
The teacher said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued,
"As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
One, you have a dirty mind, Two, you didn't read your homework,
and Three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."
At an unspecified Primary school a Year 6 teacher asked her class,
"Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should
not be asking Year 6 children a question like that!" "I'm going to tell
my parents, and they will go and tell the Headteacher, who will then fire you!"
With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.
The teacher ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body
part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her,
"Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class,
"Anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part
that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
The teacher said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued,
"As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
One, you have a dirty mind, Two, you didn't read your homework,
and Three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."
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Created: Sep 2007
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After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".