new relationship (5)

hi everyone,i would like some advice and comments on a situation that my girlfriend has got her self into,and i just putting out feelers so i have something to go to her to make her think about this new guy.well for starters he is 44 she is 52,he has just came out of a very bad manipulating relationship 3 1/2 mths ago,well he is very secertive,he takes his phone with him,and switches it off,she came to me and said i charged his phone when he mad eexcuses taht he was sick and had to leave,i sort of snooped and found these messages from girls and 1 rung him while he was at her place,the excuse he is giving her is oh im still insecure and scared to start a relationship,but i feel this guy could be stringing her along,theres to much cloak and dagger stuff,he told her they should take it slow,they have been together now for 10 days,i very much give a person a go because we all have came from bad relationships,but theres something thats not right,i cant put my finger on it,he drinks a fair bit,but he says he has done for 4 yrs and he is not an alcoholic,but ive seen him down the booze when we are all out,he is sort of going through depression as he doesnt know and he says he isnt the real him.So plz guys help me out i dont my my girlfriend to get hurt,dont get me wrong they are gd together very affectionate with each other but he is carrying to much emotional baggage, and i feel its a bad situation,but the secretive messages,saying he is coming over and then he says im to tired,but later admitted he was drinking so is he playing her,is he a player plz help

Outgoing mum
It seems you have the problem !!
Just be a friend ! You don't have to like him ! Mind your own ....
Ask your friend if she is Happy !!!

Well I believe age difference shouldn't matter is an individual thing. But this guy is only 3.5 mths out of a relationship and is definitely not ready for a full on "relationship" and be mad if he did - still too unbalanced emotionally etc.

Not sure how long your friend has been single but if she has her act together and wants more than just a friend then I believe she is headed the wrong way this this guy - only time will tell.

Having said that as much as you no doubt care for her and don't wish to see her "used" or "played" or hurt - it is her life and her choice and you can only be there for her especially if things don't work the way she may have hoped.

Best wishes to you and your friend.

thanks for the info back everyone,yes i know its her life and she has to find out for herself but what i was trying to say,that was i right thinking this guy is not ready for a relationship,and he needs to work out what he really wants and get himself sorted out before he can move forward to a long term or any type of relationship,and i wouldnt interfere i would be there to pick up the pieces which im always are when people have a crisis or problems,im just a concern friend,cause i have been there where she has,and most of us proberly has but we get stronger every minute,so thanks again and i ll be posting another one but its for me this time so i hope to get feed back on my subject thanks again robyn