CAN YOU TELL ME A GOOD JOKE . ( Archived) (4)

Tillie - Maude - Gertrude?

These three old ladies and their dogs
were sitting on a park bench
having a quiet conversation
when a flasher approached from across the park.
The flasher came up to the ladies,
stood right in front of them
and opened his trench coat.






Gertrude immediately had a stroke.
Then Maude also had a stroke.
But Tillie, being older and more feeble,
Couldn't reach that far . . .

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this...


A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston.
After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours late r, the desk Clerk; hands them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00. When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appear s, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them," the man complains.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood, and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man again.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay.

He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $50.00."

"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here and you could have."