"family oriented" do you need to come from a great family to become one? ( Archived) (10)

tell me, do you need to be from a traditional family to be family oriented? Can't you get the values on "the street"?

Hiya Christina.. old thread.. but interesting question.. I don't think that you necessarily have to have come from a great family in order to have the necessary values to have a solid family of your own, although I definitely think it helps.... It is by no means always the case but I have found (on a number of occasions)that people with difficult backrounds can often have confidence, commitment and intimacy issues... I definitely (in my experience only) have found that the emotional characteristics, required for balanced relationships often begin at home.. and thats not to say that one has to have had a perfect white picket fence.. just love and security mainly JMO

No I don't think so...as you become older you can make your own choices....growing up...my family taught me alot of things NOT to do...and I gained most of my values from those experiences...It's that the people in my family are not good...BUT they did alot of things that made me take notice and say....I don't want to be like that!!!!!!!!!!!

I know a man, pretty much abandoned as a child. He grew up in the streets, joined the military, did a few tours in Nam. Came back, got a job and started a family.
He had his own ideas of what a "decent family" was supposed to be and that was what he wanted. He may not have hit "Leave it to Beaver" family life, but he did succeed in makeing a family life that was far better than he had as he was growing up.
I admired him enough I named my son after him.
To answer your question cris, Yes it can be done.

Yes girls, we can be strong our own way. We can have a choice to say "i don't want to be like that"- hugz words, even coming from a broken family.
Many factors should be coupled so to want to form a great family. For instance, because your mother was a single mother, you may experience how hard it was for her then try to build a strong famil yourself. Maybe all has to do with the orientation and sensibility that you are transmitted...whether by direct family or in an ...social house alongside with many other children...

That man felt he needed love, he decided to recognise and accept that fact. Not many people in his situation make such a decision, that's why they turn to be sour, because they keep fighting with against their will. Yes, everyone, good or bad feel this need of finding love, being happy with love. Accepting is the war, the boundary...that makes people unhappy.

People who grow up in the most challenging circumstances can turn out to be the best of people.. a very good friend of mine could write a book.. when she was young her dad left her mum (for another woman) and because her mum wouldn't accept her lying cheating husband back into her life, she was made homeless and cut off from her fathers side of the family... at one point they ended up living in a caravan in the garden of a kind neighbours house and her mum had to work a number of jobs to keep food on the table...as a result my friend had to grow up very young as it was often her responsibility to clean, cook and babysit her siblings... what she ALWAYS had though was love in abundance.. and her mum must have been some woman!!

This friend is one of my best friends and has a pure heart of gold.. not a bitter bone anywhere and will most probably make a fantastic mum herself one day...

Me and My Dad never got on, he ha d2 other kids to dote on and i was the outcast in his eyes...... My main aim when i became a father was to be the father to my kids that my dad Wasn't to me