Need some friends.. Help me :'( ( Archived) (63)

I agree

I read somewhere that if he isnt there for the Birth certificate I don't have to put him on, and if he isn't on the Birth Certificate its harder for him to do all this cuz he'll have to petition the court for the DNA test. Is this true?

Yes
If his name isn't there he has to prove parenthood.

The only downside is if you want support at a later date you have to prove he's the father.

no name then

You mentioned that he gave you a handful of paperwork....what does the paperwork state? Is it just a petition for custody or do they list grounds for the petition? If there is a reason given (valid or not), then you can combat the reason with your own facts, possibly without having to hire a lawyer (but I'm not suggesting that you won't need one; just suggesting that you don't hire one right away....do your own research first, such as about the laws in your state). His lawyer tells him he has a good shot. OF COURSE he will say that. He certainly wouldn't be his lawyer if he told him that he thought he couldn't win. But in all cases, someone is going to lose and it likely will be him, unless you can be proven to be unfit to raise your child. You're going to need money for that baby, so don't start handing too much over to a lawyer unless this is potentially a real issue for you, not just a whim on the part of the father.
And don't engage in too much banter with him. Say nothing, offer nothing, keep him guessing.
Having said all of this, I am a firm believer that a child needs both parents (again, assuming that neither is an abuser or is ill-fit to parent the child). I believe I read that you were going to do the same (file for full custody), so perhaps he got wind of this and came at you with a pre-emptive strike. Is there no way that you can work out a reasonable visitation schedule for him so that he doesn't feel that he is being locked out of his child's life?

I don't know what it is like in the US but in Ireland it would cause difficulties yes...

Excellent advise.. although I would still seek legal advise and try and propose a reasonable access arrangement.. at the end of the day kids benefit greatly from having both parents in their lives...

The paperwork wasnt anything really towards me just a couple of papers to volunteer to sign over custody and a bunch of lawyerish crap on his reasons which is basically cuz he made a life to far away to be apart of it and he has a gf down their and doesnt wanna leave.

Be very careful here. Don't let pride or present circumstances stand in the way of ensuring that your child is taken care of properly for at least the next 18 years. I don't respect women (or men, for that matter) who try to rake someone over the coals regarding child support, but the basic support needs must be met and you may find yourself in a situation some day that may make it extremely difficult to provide for your child. I hope this won't be the case, but one never knows. Raising a child as a single parent is tough and the expenses are incredible. Don't shoot yourself in the foot.