Why Menopausal Women Should Be Sent to Sort out Afghanistan ( Archived) (5)

Jan 24, 2008 7:29 AM CST Why Menopausal Women Should Be Sent to Sort out Afghanistan
Scottishlass
ScottishlassScottishlassKnoxville, Tennessee USA491 Threads 23 Polls 3,324 Posts
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.

We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning.

We have nothing to lose.

We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!

We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.

Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
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Jan 24, 2008 7:47 AM CST Why Menopausal Women Should Be Sent to Sort out Afghanistan
Fallingman
FallingmanFallingmanDublin, Ireland29 Threads 12 Polls 11,436 Posts
Great idea!!!

And when you have done Afghanistan you can sort out Texas!! laugh
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Jan 24, 2008 7:53 AM CST Why Menopausal Women Should Be Sent to Sort out Afghanistan
FlowerOfTheSnow
FlowerOfTheSnowFlowerOfTheSnowMalaga, Andalusia Spain23 Threads 2,212 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing Very funny Scottishlass!!

But I have already made plans for the rest of my life!! laugh
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Jan 24, 2008 8:11 AM CST Why Menopausal Women Should Be Sent to Sort out Afghanistan
stooie1971
stooie1971stooie1971Las America's, Canary Islands Spain116 Threads 3 Polls 2,672 Posts
I know a female on this site who should volunteer!!!!!!

I'am seriously annoyed at her

sorry folks rant over frustrated
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Jan 24, 2008 9:23 AM CST Why Menopausal Women Should Be Sent to Sort out Afghanistan
Oslojente
OslojenteOslojenteOlso, Oslo Norway142 Threads 1 Polls 4,992 Posts
Fallingman: Great idea!!!

And when you have done Afghanistan you can sort out Texas!!



I think they should try in Texas first...
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by Scottishlass (491 Threads)
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