Quote for the day... (21)
Imasquirly1Springfield, Illinois USA108 Threads 2,518 PostsYOU KNOW YOURE TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE WHEN YOU SWERV TO MISS A TREE, AND YOU REALIZE IT WAS YOUR AIR FRESHNER!!!!
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
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Here are a few more too.....
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up, or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today, it's called golf
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up, or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today, it's called golf
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I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush
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Hugz_n_Kissez: Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Good one...
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It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
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Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
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“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.”
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What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
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Questions are never stupid, the person asking them is stupid.
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Hugz_n_Kissez: I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush
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Never judge your insides by someone else's outsides.
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Everyone seems normal till you get to know them.
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Never say "Yes" if you mean "No" Because saying Yes must be much more difficult and after much deeper concidration than saying No!
My self
My self
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Support your rights to bare Arms and be sure some body else will Bare Arms a gainst you some day!
My self with a little bit of help
My self with a little bit of help
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Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
-Rita Mae Brown-
-Rita Mae Brown-
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Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful....
-Ann Landers-
-Ann Landers-
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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Created: Mar 2008
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