Ok...I need some advice.....PLEASE!!!! ( Archived) (37)

I have a suggestion, but before I give it to you, I'll write a little bit about my own son so you get a feel of what I'm facing... I have an 8 year old son.. When he was 4, he was diagnosed with a "sensory disorder" which is different than "ADD". What brought me to realize that there was something wrong was that he started having problems trying new things, he was very stuck in his own set "schedule" and didn't like any kind of alteration in any way. He had problems with foods, and different textures of foods. He couldn't stay focused on one activity for more than 10 minutes at a time. He needed constant stimulation whether being physically or mentally. Because of this he learned to read at 3 by constantly pushing himself to get the stimulation. When he started pre-school, he was disruptive, couldn't sit still and I had constant phone calls from teachers. He talked back to teachers, got bored easily and pretended that he didn't know how to do the work when he actually did. He is now learning to "control" his behavior, but it is a slow process.

Now I'm not saying that your son has the same disorder, and I'm still kind of against putting "labels" on kids that are just hyper.. with all the "disorders" seem to be blowing up out of proportion nowadays, but it could be that he is distracted, has no interest, and simply just BORED. Doesn't mean that he has a lack of intelligence, it may be just the opposite. Same as mine. As far as summer school, I would make him go, but I would look into having him speak with a counselor to get to the bottom of what the real problem is. Most schools nowadays do have "after-school"
counceling programs which are free and deal with problems like this that you might be interested in looking into. My son goes every Wednsday afternoon after school and it does help.

Love,
Ann

OK OK.....let me make my self a little clearer......I dont let him choose if he wants to do his homework...he is expected to do it everyday!!!!
But when he tells me he has none....what am I suppose to do!!

He does get letters each week from his teachers saying what homework he hasnt turned in.....and when there is anything on the list he gets grounded.....the boy has had no video games, computer use or allowed to go to friend since christmas.......so it is not like he doesnt get punished!!!

By no means do I accept him not doing homework!!!!

You know I do the same thing... and hate to tell you, it doesn't work with mine anymore... sigh. In the past I've tried reasoning, time outs (forget about the time outs, kid can't sit still) taking away priveledges, toys, etc.. even tried bribery.. didn't work.. the counseling IS helping..

Adding on... Mine has a problem with homework too. Most of it is because he already knows the work and gets bored and distracted. I have a constant battle with him every school day to do his homework right after he comes home from school. To keep him from "escaping", I actually put a lock on his bedroom door from the outside and lock his door with a key during "homework" time so he can't go into his room while he's doing his homework. I also put another lock on the back door from the inside so he can't play outside during homework time. This may seem barbaric to some, but it's the only way I can confine him to do his homework. Just another alternative to keep him sort of focused at the task with no other choice (or escape).

So another suggestion is that as SOON as your son comes home from school, demand that he does his homework right away... and if you have to go to the same extreme with locks on every "escape" entrance door that can only be opened with keys that you have will give him no choice but to sit at the table and do the work... It's not easy, there's a lot of whining, screaming "I hate Homework!!!" and it sometimes he's trapped into doing it for hours, literally, but that seems to be the only way he gets it done.

Hope I can help.
Love,
Ann

You have to pay for summer school in the states??

Well patiently, you seem to have gotten a really bad problem, so heres my take since I was 13 at some point. Now you probably dont have a strong male figure in your lives do you, because if you did this more than likely wouldn't be happening but that is niether here nor there. First thing you have to do is lett your son know just how sad it makes you feel knowing that he has to deal with so much at such a young age, then you explain to him the facts of his behavior, meaning that he is more than likely doing this for attention from you, or he is doing this just to spite you (you know him better than i do), but explain to him in words he understands that what he is doing though it hurts you will actually be huting him because he is the one that has to do it all over again the only difference being that all his friends wont be there. But yeah just lett him know how proud it makes you feel when he 1) does his homework, 2) says please, 3) listens to you, ETC...
P.S
I would like to hear from you, ok, good luck! you are going to need allot of it.

hope to HELL she doesn't tell him one word you just said >=o(

This one is a toughy. I have two older kids. One 19 and one 21..When the 19 year old was in school she had a difficult time learning and teachers just said she was lazy. In third grade her teacher recommended that she stay behind a year and I agreed with her. But the principal said no due to her feeling left out from not being with her friends. if she did stay behind, it might of helped her to catch up. I had her tested and put on a IEP. I had to fight with the school numerous of times for not doing there part. She ended up quitting at 18...
My son was different. He could get all A's and B's but didn't. He also wanted to quit school and I put my foot down with him about the quitting. He is more artistic and said his classes were just to boring for him. He did graduate and is in college for digital animation and film developing. He still gets bored easily and needs a challenge. So he does this by creating his work different than the other kids. Just follow your instincts. Good Luck

I feel life is learning lessons, he will learn a lesson by having to stay back! He may do the same thing in summer school by not doing the work so, I feel letting him stay back is the better lesson. If I was in your shoes my daughter would stay back.