At what point do we let the childhood stuff go??? ( Archived) (4)

I'm gonna just tell a brief story of a woman in her 40's now! She is working with children from 1 to 8yrs old. It is new to her, and their behaviour, which can sometimes be very trying, makes her wonder how her mother of 9 kids coped. I am rambling I know, but it doesn't take a psychologist to figure out how we end up being attracted to the men we hook up with. Of course I also include the men that hook up to women in the same way...etc...
Actually, I'm so tired tonight...I'm hoping someone will join in and give this the kick start that is needed????

This isn't a short, easy answer, because there are deep pyschological issues here, otherwise known as "baggage"!

First... For most people, almost none of their baggage is conscious, and you can't do anything about what you don't know you dont know. I.e., if you know about it you can do something about it, but if you don't know that you don't know about it, it doesn't even exist for you, and is therefore un-let-go-able.

Next... Not everyone has to end up scarred and having a lot of "childhood stuff"; it can depend on how it's handled at the time.

Next... At any time, given some limitations of beliefs about happiness, issues of money, who's in authority over you at the time (i.e. parents), time, etc., there are more than enough resources out there to help people let go of things whenever they are ready.

Next... It's also un-let-go-able if it's not recognized as childhood stuff.

Unfortunately, most people tend to blame those who are there with them in the present for their current unhappiness, never understanding or recognizing that whatever is going on now is ***just a mirror of unhealed stuff from childhood.*** They aren't ever taught to take the time to slow down and step back when their partner or spouse is doing something that they're getting upset about, and say wait a minute, my mother used to talk to me that way and that's the unresolved issue I'm REALLY upset at, THAT'S what's being triggered here... NO, they say, YOU MAKE ME MAD... YOU'RE HURTING MY FEELINGS...

The truth will set you free: there's no power in blaming anyone else for things that only WE have control over, because no one else can change it. As long as we blame other people and don't understand that it's ALL our stuff, we give away our power and nothing can get better.

It's ALL our own stuff...

It just appears to be a projection and an opportunity to heal.

It's all up to us when we're going to understand that and live that way, and that's where true freedom and happiness is.



IMHO...

*gets off soapbox now*

It's hard to let go of stuff that you're hardly aware of. I've been aware for a long time that my mother did lots of damage. However, knowing it and identifying the exact results are very difficult. Instead of re-playing the tape, I have tried to record over it. With some success. Paws