tears of a deadman ( Archived) (31)

as you are laying there with your head on my chest
listening to my heart beat and knowing what is about to happen
knowing in your heart that
their is nothing you could do to stop it from happening
all you could do is stand by and watch it happen
you remember when i first told you i love you
and you told me about how
you been waiting for me to say those words to you.


how you waited until i will open up my heart
and let your love in
how on the day i told you i love you
i gave you my heart and
the love that my heart holds for you
you remember back when
you listen to my heart beating out love for you
you remember back when you was being told
to prepare when a night like this will come
you remember on that day
how you was told and
you really didn't understand
what was being said to you



but you said you could handle it
but you really was not prepare
as it was coming close
as you listen to my heart beat
how it slow down and stop a couple of times
that i was entering the darkness
soon i will be climing the mountain
to look across the valley of shadow of death
to look across and see Jesus standing
there saying no it is not time to cross over
you knew i would be asking Jesus why not
you became afraid when my heart stop and i was crossing over to heaven



than i stop and look down
i heard you pray Lord on this night
let your will be done,not mine
but Lord i do love him and i do need him
as i stood there
between this world and heaven
i look down and i saw your tears falling on my chest
i wonder why you was crying
for you knew this night
will come
you knew what could happen
but you said you love me
you wanted to be with me no matter what
watching you with your head still on my chest
knowing that my heart has stop and i am no longer there



as i stood there between heaven and this earth
i ask Jesus once more who needs me
whose life will i make a differts in
Jesus look down at you
said can you not see she loves you
she needs you
she will take you
any way she can
i stood there looking
down at you
as you was crying
cause you thought you lost me


i look down
i remember the day
i gave my heart to you
i knew in my heart
that 1 day you will leave me
that you would not
be able to be with me long
you said no that you will be
with me forever
but you knew in your heart
my words was true
that 1 day you will leave me
as you lay there with your head still on my chest
you felt something wet on your shoulders
you look into my eyes
you saw tears coming out of my eyes


but you wonder how it could be
cause my heart was not beating
but yet as you watch
tears was coming out of my eyes
than my heart started beating again
i look into your eyes
and said i love you
as i held you in my arms
you was crying in my arms
as you held me in your arms i was crying


how little did we know
1 week from that night
when i came to see you
with tears in your eyes you
said that you was sorry
that you could not
be with me no more
that you love me and you will always will
but you cannot handle being
with someone who you could lose
and there is nothing you could do about it


even if you did know
what you was getting into
you thought you could handle it
but that night taught you
that you could not handle
being with someone like me
who you could lose
not being able to do anything about it
as i held you in my arms
while you was crying on my shoulder
i told you i understand
i remember i told you
on that first day
when we said i love you
to each other that this day will come and now it has








but i am put into remembrance of that night
i held you last in my arms
now i understand why God
sent you to me that night
for he had bless me on that night with one of his angels

as i near half way to the top of the mountain
i feel the rain drops as they hit my skin
but they are burning a hole through to my soul
than i remember they are not rain drops
but they are tears of angels as they cry for me



i know when i reach half way
my demons will be waiting
on a plateau where i will meet them one more
with no angels around me
with my defenses down
where they will be allow to
torment and terrorize me once more
of things in the past,present and future


where once more the battle
between life and death will be fought
where no one will be allow to interfere
not God nor any angels,nor any human beings
for no one will be allow
to be by my side as i face my demons once more
no one will know who won until after the battle
has been fought once more
i will either live to fight for another day
or the angels will come once more to carry me home


now the time is coming
i am put into remembrance this time is differt
for God has not bless me with one of his angel
there is no one eyes to look into
there is no one heart beat to feel against mine
there is no tear drop to fall
there is no eyes to look into
to know in my soul that i am
looking into the eyes of the angel
that was heaven sent for me

Thank you, that's beautiful z, and dancing, for sharing your feelings.

Y'all make me feel bad about being so concerned about my petty bs. It's nothing compared to letting someone go this way.

got doughnuts to go with the coffee

what time is coffee