I'm unsure about how the inner workings of the website are. There may be a time delay built in. That way the guy could send a message , then duck out quickly before it registers with you.
As far as I can see, there is no such thing as stealth mode-else I would have used it sometimes
What I wish ter was is an alert system whether by email or pop up message to let me know when someone has posted a reply to a thread that interests me.
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How does that happen?