Male or Female ( Archived) (5)

ZIPLOC BAGS: They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

COPIERS: They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s an effective productive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

TIRES: Male, because it goes bald and it’s often over-inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there’s the hot air part.

SPONGES: Female, because they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because it’s always getting hit on

SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER: Male, because it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL: Female. You thought it’d be male but consider this; it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

OMG

So true too! LOL

ok vacume... yes... need to vacume damn it...

snowwolf

THE RIGHT WOMAN FOR THE JOB


The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists, two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!”

The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.”

The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”

The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.

Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

“This gun is loaded with blanks”, she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

Moral: Women are evil. Don’t mess with them.

not ALL women! I'd not use a chair. I can think of MUCH better ways to kill a man...

snowwolf