How Important Is It ....? (60)
trish123Macclesfield, Cheshire, England UK177 Threads 4 Polls 13,724 PostsBnaturAl: I should note that thread isn't because of anyone here , it is a general queery I have had for some time in my life, in general experience.
have you been inundated with mail from people wondering if they upset you Al - or was that just me....... 
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cardsfan24: Truly one of the best to come out in a while at in total agreement on that bro
daughters, waiting on the world to change ....too bad he is relatively unknown and under appreciated. People who are entrenched in the music world though are well aware of his talent. I have seen more musicians at his concerts than Celine Dion gets and thats saying something when your peers want to see you.
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You talked about family.
Yeah family´s something you cant get rid of, just deal with it. I´ve got one brother who´s completely unreliable and getting worse as he´s turning into an alcoholic. He lies through his teeth. I´ve tried talking to him but there´s nothing I can really do about it.
Now non-family... grandma used to say everyone deserves a first chance, few people deserve a second chance, nobody deserves a third on. Metaphorically I think, cause "how many chances" depends a lot. But I think it´s fair to let the other person to know you´re upset and why, and that you´re giving them a CHANCE. They´re not obliged to guess, you´re the one who has to tale responsibility in setting the limits. After you´ve been hurt, there´no ombudsman if the "contract" wasn´t clear - you´ve got no right to complain.
Yeah family´s something you cant get rid of, just deal with it. I´ve got one brother who´s completely unreliable and getting worse as he´s turning into an alcoholic. He lies through his teeth. I´ve tried talking to him but there´s nothing I can really do about it.
Now non-family... grandma used to say everyone deserves a first chance, few people deserve a second chance, nobody deserves a third on. Metaphorically I think, cause "how many chances" depends a lot. But I think it´s fair to let the other person to know you´re upset and why, and that you´re giving them a CHANCE. They´re not obliged to guess, you´re the one who has to tale responsibility in setting the limits. After you´ve been hurt, there´no ombudsman if the "contract" wasn´t clear - you´ve got no right to complain.
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BnaturAl: daughters, waiting on the world to change ....too bad he is relatively unknown and under appreciated. People who are entrenched in the music world though are well aware of his talent. I have seen more musicians at his concerts than Celine Dion gets and thats saying something when your peers want to see you.
Yeah he has done a lot of music with a lot of musicians, includin common kanye west fall out boy dave matthews....great musician very talented blues man i say he is------ This thread is Archived ------
jbibiza: I think when you speak about people like that... it´s people who still view the world the same way a toddler does... they are the center and everything revolves around them, in most cases they are charming fun and don´t mean to be selfish, they just don´t seem to understand that their behavior effects others... they only see the world from their own perspective and how things effect them.
some sort of disconnect? bliss without cost ...
how truely wonderful, really! (my inner child sneaking in )------ This thread is Archived ------
Moema: You talked about family.
Yeah family´s something you cant get rid of, just deal with it. I´ve got one brother who´s completely unreliable and getting worse as he´s turning into an alcoholic. He lies through his teeth. I´ve tried talking to him but there´s nothing I can really do about it.
Now non-family... grandma used to say everyone deserves a first chance, few people deserve a second chance, nobody deserves a third on. Metaphorically I think, cause "how many chances" depends a lot. But I think it´s fair to let the other person to know you´re upset and why, and that you´re giving them a CHANCE. They´re not obliged to guess, you´re the one who has to tale responsibility in setting the limits. After you´ve been hurt, there´no ombudsman if the "contract" wasn´t clear - you´ve got no right to complain.
Yeah family´s something you cant get rid of, just deal with it. I´ve got one brother who´s completely unreliable and getting worse as he´s turning into an alcoholic. He lies through his teeth. I´ve tried talking to him but there´s nothing I can really do about it.
Now non-family... grandma used to say everyone deserves a first chance, few people deserve a second chance, nobody deserves a third on. Metaphorically I think, cause "how many chances" depends a lot. But I think it´s fair to let the other person to know you´re upset and why, and that you´re giving them a CHANCE. They´re not obliged to guess, you´re the one who has to tale responsibility in setting the limits. After you´ve been hurt, there´no ombudsman if the "contract" wasn´t clear - you´ve got no right to complain.
ya, family sometimes has to be classed as indesposable and eventually you get used to and accept their lack of dependability, but one can only have so much of that in their life (me anyway) I have some family who I have shut out now for that reason, but some remain because the harm they cause is incidental.
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cardsfan24: Yeah he has done a lot of music with a lot of musicians, includin common kanye west fall out boy dave matthews....great musician very talented blues man i say he is
jazz, and pop as well. He does concerts where he separates his sets by genre, blues, pop and jazz ... are you mancrushing?
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BnaturAl: ya, family sometimes has to be classed as indesposable and eventually you get used to and accept their lack of dependability, but one can only have so much of that in their life (me anyway) I have some family who I have shut out now for that reason, but some remain because the harm they cause is incidental.
I know what you mean, I´ve shut down the entire family on my dad´s side. All they do is drink, gossip and envy, there´s never any good coming from there... so I decided I DON´T have uncles and cousins or any relatives on that side - 2 or 3 exceptions made.
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Moema: I know what you mean, I´ve shut down the entire family on my dad´s side. All they do is drink, gossip and envy, there´s never any good coming from there... so I decided I DON´T have uncles and cousins or any relatives on that side - 2 or 3 exceptions made.
as long as you still like nuts
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BnaturAl: as long as you still like nuts
I´m thinking where to get a nut cab for you to drive you to nuts.
I´m keeping on eye on you, you know...
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Moema: I´m thinking where to get a nut cab for you to drive you to nuts.
I´m keeping on eye on you, you know...
I´m keeping on eye on you, you know...
eye? I'm offering a hand-out
does this mean you're visuAlly stimulated in sensuAl ways
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BnaturAl: To say what you mean and mean what you say? ___________
This is one thing that confuses me sometimes. I don't mean in an absolute sense. There are times when life just makes it difficult for people to follow through; however, I am talking about people who very rarely follow through on what they say, often making idle threats and or meaningless promises ..
AND people who don't care or shrug off your own words as if they mean nothing, seeing them as idle threats, when indeed you mean you say.
I have been trying to understand this behavior for some time now, it appears to have some laissez faire about life that baffles me when (from my point of view) relationships of all types require something based in truth and reasonable expectation.
Right, wrong, in between?
This is one thing that confuses me sometimes. I don't mean in an absolute sense. There are times when life just makes it difficult for people to follow through; however, I am talking about people who very rarely follow through on what they say, often making idle threats and or meaningless promises ..
AND people who don't care or shrug off your own words as if they mean nothing, seeing them as idle threats, when indeed you mean you say.
I have been trying to understand this behavior for some time now, it appears to have some laissez faire about life that baffles me when (from my point of view) relationships of all types require something based in truth and reasonable expectation.
Right, wrong, in between?
It's very important to me and I always mean what I say...except when I am on here joking of course...and I can't stand people who just say things to say them...like they don't mean anything...and they aren't wasting someone elses time with their laissez faire attitude by not following through with what they say....That's how trust is built by actions not words...and constantly not following through with anything...gives people a good reason not to trust anything you have to say...at least for me it does...following through on ones word not only builds trust but also implies things like maturity...responsibility and dependability......
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Hugz_n_Kissez: It's very important to me and I always mean what I say...except when I am on here joking of course...and I can't stand people who just say things to say them...like they don't mean anything...and they aren't wasting someone elses time with their laissez faire attitude by not following through with what they say....That's how trust is built by actions not words...and constantly not following through with anything...gives people a good reason not to trust anything you have to say...at least for me it does...following through on ones word not only builds trust but also implies things like maturity...responsibility and dependability......
hello hugssame sentiments here ... some sort of consistency is the cornerstone of respect for others.
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BnaturAl: How Important Is It ....?
To say what you mean and mean what you say?
___________
This is one thing that confuses me sometimes. I don't mean in an absolute sense. There are times when life just makes it difficult for people to follow through; however, I am talking about people who very rarely follow through on what they say, often making idle threats and or meaningless promises ..
AND people who don't care or shrug off your own words as if they mean nothing, seeing them as idle threats, when indeed you mean you say.
I have been trying to understand this behavior for some time now, it appears to have some laissez faire about life that baffles me when (from my point of view) relationships of all types require something based in truth and reasonable expectation.
Right, wrong, in between?
To say what you mean and mean what you say?
___________
This is one thing that confuses me sometimes. I don't mean in an absolute sense. There are times when life just makes it difficult for people to follow through; however, I am talking about people who very rarely follow through on what they say, often making idle threats and or meaningless promises ..
AND people who don't care or shrug off your own words as if they mean nothing, seeing them as idle threats, when indeed you mean you say.
I have been trying to understand this behavior for some time now, it appears to have some laissez faire about life that baffles me when (from my point of view) relationships of all types require something based in truth and reasonable expectation.
Right, wrong, in between?
Very important.
But in all honesty - how many of as and how often say what they mean and mean what you say?
On a personal level I learnt to recognize those who don't say what they mean and don't mean what you say very fast and put a good distance between myself and them. It's usually either manipulators or people who live in a fantasy world.
In all other social settings, to me, is good enough if they do what they say and say what they do.
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BnaturAl: eye? I'm offering a hand-out
does this mean you're visuAlly stimulated in sensuAl ways
does this mean you're visuAlly stimulated in sensuAl ways
One one hand, it´s almost Xmas and I´m in the mood for some nut craking. On the other hand, it´s the low season for bananas.
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Moema: One one hand, it´s almost Xmas and I´m in the mood for some nut craking. On the other hand, it´s the low season for bananas.
ouch..
thanks for the imagery
you are scary... 
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laura225: Very important.
But in all honesty - how many of as and how often say what they mean and mean what you say?
On a personal level I learnt to recognize those who don't say what they mean and don't mean what you say very fast and put a good distance between myself and them. It's usually either manipulators or people who live in a fantasy world.
In all other social settings, to me, is good enough if they do what they say and say what they do .
But in all honesty - how many of as and how often say what they mean and mean what you say?
On a personal level I learnt to recognize those who don't say what they mean and don't mean what you say very fast and put a good distance between myself and them. It's usually either manipulators or people who live in a fantasy world.
In all other social settings, to me, is good enough if they do what they say and say what they do .
a slight variation in theme ... but appropriate. ------ This thread is Archived ------
It makes NO DIFFERENCE at all Al .. People .. a lot of them really dont care.
A lot of people say what should be meant and what is said is like misconstructed, modified or adjusted to suit the need.
I do believe to say what you mean is a truly appreciable characteristic which is an asset to posess. But in this age of competition and materialism in almost every field and life, often people are scared or rather do not prefer to let the true self shine through.
Noooo .. not intending to say i am a saint. But I am known for saying what i think though not immediately having some regard for the feelings involved and giving some room for understanding .. but when i do i say it exactly the way it is .. I lack tact and grace in doing that and i do not regret it often.
A lot of people say what should be meant and what is said is like misconstructed, modified or adjusted to suit the need.
I do believe to say what you mean is a truly appreciable characteristic which is an asset to posess. But in this age of competition and materialism in almost every field and life, often people are scared or rather do not prefer to let the true self shine through.
Noooo .. not intending to say i am a saint. But I am known for saying what i think though not immediately having some regard for the feelings involved and giving some room for understanding .. but when i do i say it exactly the way it is .. I lack tact and grace in doing that and i do not regret it often.
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riyablossom: It makes NO DIFFERENCE at all Al .. People .. a lot of them really dont care.
A lot of people say what should be meant and what is said is like misconstructed, modified or adjusted to suit the need.
I do believe to say what you mean is a truly appreciable characteristic which is an asset to posess. But in this age of competition and materialism in almost every field and life, often people are scared or rather do not prefer to let the true self shine through.
Noooo .. not intending to say i am a saint. But I am known for saying what i think though not immediately having some regard for the feelings involved and giving some room for understanding .. but when i do i say it exactly the way it is .. I lack tact and grace in doing that and i do not regret it often.
A lot of people say what should be meant and what is said is like misconstructed, modified or adjusted to suit the need.
I do believe to say what you mean is a truly appreciable characteristic which is an asset to posess. But in this age of competition and materialism in almost every field and life, often people are scared or rather do not prefer to let the true self shine through.
Noooo .. not intending to say i am a saint. But I am known for saying what i think though not immediately having some regard for the feelings involved and giving some room for understanding .. but when i do i say it exactly the way it is .. I lack tact and grace in doing that and i do not regret it often.
true enough ... I do think they care but that care is turned inward as you suggest further in your post.
In the end T, the appreciation for consistency, not perfection is what we ought best to indulge and count on in reliable relationships .... ya?
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BnaturAl: true enough ... I do think they care but that care is turned inward as you suggest further in your post.
In the end T, the appreciation for consistency, not perfection is what we ought best to indulge and count on in reliable relationships .... ya?
In the end T, the appreciation for consistency, not perfection is what we ought best to indulge and count on in reliable relationships .... ya?
The whole scenario nowadays is pretty disappointing ..
Good to see you .. ------ This thread is Archived ------
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