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A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.
4. What about hugging another male?
A. If he’s your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.
B. If you’re performing the Heimlich maneuver. (And even in this case, you should repeatedly shout: "I am just dislodging food trapped in this male’s trachea! I am not in any way aroused!"
C. If you’re a professional baseball player and a teammate hits a home run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that:
1. He is legally within the base path,
2. Both of you are wearing protective cups, and
3. You also pound him fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures.
5. Complete this sentence: A funeral is a good time to...
A. ...remember the deceased and console his loved ones.
B. ...reflect upon the fleeting transience of earthly life.
C. ...tell the joke about the guy who has Alzheimer’s disease and cancer.
6. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.