Mommy I'm sorry if my first letter made you cry
To be honest with you I don't think that I wanna die
Sometimes I feel like that I'm cancerous in others lives
Thats probably why I drink at night and sleep till 4 or 5
It's kinda hard walking through life with my distorted eyes
When I was younger I was stupid and I thought I thrived
I thought alot about everything I said in the letter
And questioned whether or not if I was dead you'd be better
You think my shorty would be happy if I never met her
It's too late now mommy I could never forget her
Could never forget how she told me to love
Cuz my father and my grandmother is always above
It's glory above you know that daddy taught me to thug
And everytime we was with nanny she'd bombard me with hugs
I MISS 'EM mommy and it's hard to believe
That I'm grown and I don't understand it - why did they leave

Mommy I think Im'a that try to stick around a while
I got a niece and my nephews they need me around a while
I think they need me cuz they hittin that age
And they ain't tryin to speak to Lenny cuz they spittin' they rage
And mommy speakin of Lenny I think my brother need me
And we Italian so you know my mother loved to feed me
And it's the little things you do for me that make it worth it
Like when I play a joint that we did and you say it's perfect
And when Jay got knocked you knew that I was hurt
You told me put all of my heart in a song and it worked
I promised him I'd be there when he got out the bing
You ain't raised me to be a liar ma' thats not my thing
I told him that I'd hold him down the whole time that he gone
they kept him locked in a cage but thats cool cuz hes strong
so mommy keep that first letter I wrote you on the low
I think I wanna stay alive and see if I can grow