I do not belong here
I do not love here
The darkness is where I want to go
I want to be less than spirit
I want to be dead so I can be
emotIonless
And not feel a thIng
But I'm alive and it's a curse
And I feel more than ever
I want to take a knife and
End It rIght now
End whatever I thought I could
take
End whatever I thought I could
bear wIth
But no
I do not belong here
I do not love here
Whenever I try to fly I always fall
I cannot even stand on my two
feet
I want to go back
I want to go back
I dont belIeve In magic anymore
I dont belIeve In happiness or joy
those things are just stories
fairytales dont exist
I never had a fairy godmother
but now It dosent matter
If I had a fairy godmother I would
wish to die
because the best I can do here Is
lie
lie and betray and lose everyone
agaIn and again and again
I do not belong here
I do not love here
my heart does not belong to
myself
nor my friends
nor my famIly
nor anyone
all my heart loves Is the Idea of
me being dead
If I were dead
my heart could finally rest
rest from all the damage I have
done to myself and to everyone
else
I am a disgrace to everyone
a nobody
a liar
I do not belong here
I cannot stop lying
I cannot stop betraying
I cannot stop being myself
why can't I just join the damned
why does everyone expect me to
get better
this Is my faIth
It Is my destIny
to dIe
and contInue dyIng
why do I lIve
I cannot lIve
I do not belong here
I do not love here
I lIe to everyone
Life lIes to me
Life tells me the world Is beautIful
and everyone supports and cares
for me
lIes
all lIes
Life tells me that I have hope that I
can change
I hate Life
Life has always lIed to me just as I
have always lIed to everyone
hurt me more
kIll me more
the more I dIe,
the better
I do not deserve what Is gIven to
me
I was gIven a good school
a happy famIly
amazIng frIends
and talents
and I went ahead and I betrayed
them all
I lIed and lIed
and dIed and dIed
and stIll I want to dIe more
paIn Is what satIsfIes me
darkness Is my favourIte place
people say darkness Is damnatIon
but for me, It Is salvatIon
because around me there are so
many successes
and I'm the one faIlure
the world goes around every year
wIth no faIl
the mother bIrd takes care of her
chIcks wIth ease
the fIre burns the wood wIth
delIght
the darkness creeps Into my soul,
the most beautIful sIght
I wIll trudge on
on the path beaten out for me
I know where I'm headed so
there's no use warnIng me
I have no company
except for the screams of the past
and the callIngs of the future
I will never learn
so I continue to walk
walk on and I have come to accept
all Life has to give to me
I do not belong here
I do not love here