well start believing in yourself life. isn't all bout relationship. someone will come along unexpected when u least expect... there's a saying expect the unexpected.
your issue is trust like all women you need self confidence and believing in yourself there's no point dwelling on the past focus on the future.
RE: FEAR ALLAH REFRAIN FROM SIN- Try to be Closer tom
hes probably busy doing his prayers fearing allah since his blog on cs mayb dats haram for him