i found my ex husband in mankato. my daughter's godfather is in st peter. he says the same thing but i'm pretty sure there are lots of nice women there if only you know where to look.
yes i was very disappointed. i know people who have a hard time with relationships that involve traveling all the way across town, so trying to maintain one across thousands of miles, in my opinion, takes extraordinary effort by both people involved. this was a lesson learned the hard way. i tried and it didn't work for me. i'm sticking much closer to home now but i'm still leaving my options open. under the right circumstances i might be willing to try another long distance relationship. probably not that far away though. i don't want to judge all men by the behavior of one.
he is in the uk. i would have really loved to see more of it and he told me he would take me wherever i wanted to go. once i was there he had no interest in showing me anything because he had seen all he wanted to see already. i pushed my family aside and missed some very important events here at home just to be with him. i wasn't worth the expense of heating his house in winter or buying enough food for both of us, but there was always plenty of beer and he made sure he had everything he needed. i had my own money but he refused to spend it (or let me spend it) because he thought it would make him less of a man. apparently being a man means making the woman who intends to spend her life with you go without necessities. he said according to his "principles" a real man would never let a woman take over his house, his life, his heart. he changed his principles to suit himself nearly as often as he changed his socks. he said that's just how he is, that if i didn't like it i could go home. so i did.
i don't want to sound like a whiner, so i'm not going to say everything that went on, or didn't go on for that matter. i just know what i want and need for myself. nice manners in public and a few new friends are a good start, but it's not enough. call me selfish, but i need to have some value to the person i'm with or it doesn't make sense to be with him.
he led me to believe he was excited about life and wanted to share a life together. he said he lived by his principles and would be undeterred in making his dreams into reality. he told me how much he values family and friends, but neglected to tell me he meant only his family and friends.
when i went to his country the first time, i met his family and friends and they are indeed wonderful people and i love every one of them. he showed me a few interesting places in his city and we also went on a couple day trips. he told me he'd show me more, which i was excited about, but then he said his country bored and annoyed him and there wasn't anything worth seeing. i ended up sitting on his sofa for weeks because he never wanted to go anywhere and i couldn't go anywhere without him. there i was, 5000 miles away, doing exactly what i could have done by myself at home and feeling very lonely doing it even though he was in the same room.
there was no affection, no intimacy, minimal communication and eventually he told me i was invading his space when after a month i accidentally left my toothbrush in his bathroom. he told me no man wants a woman taking over like that and he was uncomfortable with me leaving all my "junk" all over his house. i still hadn't even unpacked my bags, so the only junk i had all over his house was my toothbrush and myself. not exactly a great way to build a life together.
to him, living by his principles meant never letting anyone tell him what to do. he would tell off his boss for expecting him to meet requirements on the job, causing him to lose more than one job. yet when his friends told him to drink excessively to prove his manhood, he had no problem doing that. i never told him what to do, and he did a whole bunch of nothing most of the time.
he went from being excited about life to bored and unhappy in almost no time at all. i went back a couple times thinking it was a passing phase and each time would be better. i wasn't willing to give up easily but finally had to do what was best for both of us and end it. i thought, and still wonder, if perhaps i was his problem. thank goodness i didn't marry him or something equally as foolish.
there's much much more to this story, but i'm not sure it would interest anyone but me.
i believe long distance relationships are entirely possible for some people as long as both people know what they're getting into and are willing to put in all the time, money and effort necessary to make it work.
i was in a very long distance relationship with a man from a different country for nearly two years. after spending many months getting to know each other on the phone and online and spending two weeks together while he was on holiday here, i thought i had a good idea who he really was. i spent six months (off and on) in his country, leaving my old life behind, only to discover that he was not at all who he made himself out to be. he's a good man, but not for me. had i known before i went that he would be so different, i would not have gone or invested so much of myself into the relationship.
i think it's almost impossible to maintain relationships with that much distance if time or money are issues. i know people who have difficulties when long distance means outside their own city. airfare is very expensive and i don't see how it's possible to keep a relationship strong when you only get to see each other a few days every couple years. i didn't get into that relationship just to spend years at a time alone. that might work for some people, but it didn't work for me.
"Whether this entity actually exists or not is beside the point. Does the truth of the boogeyman or Santa Claus prevent parents from using it as a fear tactic to modify their children's behavior?
Same difference.
Lack of evidence does not consitute lack of existence. That is the application of Occam's Razor to the dilemna at hand. As our knowledge expands, certain paradigms are altered or even abandoned."
totally disregarding my/our basic needs in order to satisfy his own. for instance, not heating the house in winter or not buying food so there's enough money for beer. saddest part was we could afford all of it, but his fear of not having a beer some night meant we still couldn't have the other things we needed.
when i moved my ex threw out all the stuff i used every day that he personally had no use for. i had to replace what i could and do without what i couldn't. however, i think he suffered the consequences of throwing out my brand new coffee maker even more than i did.
i think it's interesting but i don't believe in it at all. it's more for entertainment for me because everyone i know well seems to be the complete opposite of what their horoscope says they're like, including myself.
ok, so there's this man here that i really really like. if he lived in wisconsin or i lived where he is, i believe we would really connect. unfortunately he lives very far away, near the coast somewhere (i won't say which coast). the likelihood of us ever meeting is slim to none, but he has proven to me that men like him do exist. he has set the bar kinda high and now i think he's the standard to which all others will be compared. i know everybody is different, but if he's out there, someone else similar to him must also be out there... right?
what would you do if you found that man/woman who is exactly what you're looking for but they're beyond your reach? i know "love knows no boundaries" and "if you really want to be with someone you'll find a way no matter what"... blah blah blah. but that's nonsense when it's completely unrealistic to meet.
maybe i should put this in a "matchmakermike" thread?
there are lots of dating sites that aren't what they claim to be. i've looked at so many of them and most are expensive or don't have the features we have here. cs is one of the best which is why i even bothered to join.
i'm kinda with you on the possibility that there really isn't someone for everyone... at least not on these sites. however, maybe you'll have better luck here
voice opinions, as we have the right to do, but is it really necessary to tear each other apart for days over disagreements about someone else's political view?
i somehow suspect politicians aren't going around reading dating site forums to find solutions to major world crises.
we aren't going to find the solution here. some of us can't even find a date.
a heated debate about the war in iraq on this, a dating site, is doing nothing to solve the problem in iraq. nobody with the power to change anything is going to read this, decide one of you is right and then act accordingly.
nobody here is winning this argument. all this bickering is not going to change the world. can't we just let it rest and find something more fun or productive to talk about?
the scorpio i dated was an empty shell of a man with a bad boy facade that was transparent to everyone but him. however, i don't think it was because he's a scorpio. it's just the person he decided to be.
pandie Forum Posts (112)
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RE: How lame is the Wisconsin forum?
i check in here a few times a day. glad you'll be hanging around too. my saturday night is just here this weekend. what about you?