long distance relationships ( Archived) (46)

he led me to believe he was excited about life and wanted to share a life together. he said he lived by his principles and would be undeterred in making his dreams into reality. he told me how much he values family and friends, but neglected to tell me he meant only his family and friends.

when i went to his country the first time, i met his family and friends and they are indeed wonderful people and i love every one of them. he showed me a few interesting places in his city and we also went on a couple day trips. he told me he'd show me more, which i was excited about, but then he said his country bored and annoyed him and there wasn't anything worth seeing. i ended up sitting on his sofa for weeks because he never wanted to go anywhere and i couldn't go anywhere without him. there i was, 5000 miles away, doing exactly what i could have done by myself at home and feeling very lonely doing it even though he was in the same room.

there was no affection, no intimacy, minimal communication and eventually he told me i was invading his space when after a month i accidentally left my toothbrush in his bathroom. he told me no man wants a woman taking over like that and he was uncomfortable with me leaving all my "junk" all over his house. i still hadn't even unpacked my bags, so the only junk i had all over his house was my toothbrush and myself. not exactly a great way to build a life together.

to him, living by his principles meant never letting anyone tell him what to do. he would tell off his boss for expecting him to meet requirements on the job, causing him to lose more than one job. yet when his friends told him to drink excessively to prove his manhood, he had no problem doing that. i never told him what to do, and he did a whole bunch of nothing most of the time.

he went from being excited about life to bored and unhappy in almost no time at all. i went back a couple times thinking it was a passing phase and each time would be better. i wasn't willing to give up easily but finally had to do what was best for both of us and end it. i thought, and still wonder, if perhaps i was his problem. thank goodness i didn't marry him or something equally as foolish.

there's much much more to this story, but i'm not sure it would interest anyone but me.

i believe long distance relationships are entirely possible for some people as long as both people know what they're getting into and are willing to put in all the time, money and effort necessary to make it work.

I am really sorry to hear that it was such a disappointment. It goes to show that communication, straightforwardness, and honesty are very important from the beginning. It saves us all time and heartaches. Actually I would like to hear all of it if there's more to this story. Where was he living?

I've said this before and will say it again. If two people are willing and can make a long distance relationship work, then the next step which is marriage will or should be easy.

Between Shelia (PeachesandCream) and I, there are approximately 750 miles as the crow flies. We have been talking via emails, IM's and phone, plus we have been together 5 or 6 times.
I spent 9 days with her over the x-mas/New Years holidaysand she was here for a week just a couple weeks ago. In two weeks I will be flying down to NC where the two of us are going to Myrtle Beach SC for the weekend and then she'll be here for the 4th of July week.
There will be one more trip a week after she's here in July. She is driving up the second week in July with her pickup so we can tow a U-Haul trailer with my stuff in it back to NC. I have given notice to my landlord that I will be out of the apt at the end of June and my employer as to my last day with them, July 11.
Nothing is set in stone as of yet but the way we are talking, Fri July 13 will be for rehearsal with Sat July 14 becoming Mr and Mrs

Wow congratulations !!!!!

congratulations and best wishes to you both

Awwww, it must of been very disappointed for you... I personally think long distance dating outside the country is a 50 /50 chance of it working for anyone. I try to keep it in my country and in my state, its easier for me...

he is in the uk. i would have really loved to see more of it and he told me he would take me wherever i wanted to go. once i was there he had no interest in showing me anything because he had seen all he wanted to see already. i pushed my family aside and missed some very important events here at home just to be with him. i wasn't worth the expense of heating his house in winter or buying enough food for both of us, but there was always plenty of beer and he made sure he had everything he needed. i had my own money but he refused to spend it (or let me spend it) because he thought it would make him less of a man. apparently being a man means making the woman who intends to spend her life with you go without necessities. he said according to his "principles" a real man would never let a woman take over his house, his life, his heart. he changed his principles to suit himself nearly as often as he changed his socks. he said that's just how he is, that if i didn't like it i could go home. so i did.

i don't want to sound like a whiner, so i'm not going to say everything that went on, or didn't go on for that matter. i just know what i want and need for myself. nice manners in public and a few new friends are a good start, but it's not enough. call me selfish, but i need to have some value to the person i'm with or it doesn't make sense to be with him.

yes i was very disappointed. i know people who have a hard time with relationships that involve traveling all the way across town, so trying to maintain one across thousands of miles, in my opinion, takes extraordinary effort by both people involved. this was a lesson learned the hard way. i tried and it didn't work for me. i'm sticking much closer to home now but i'm still leaving my options open. under the right circumstances i might be willing to try another long distance relationship. probably not that far away though. i don't want to judge all men by the behavior of one.

well, i'd not say 100-1, maybe....60-40!! :-)

2 years 1600 miles didnt end up the way i wanted it to enough said class dismissed...

Mechanized