I would have to say my nephew how died last Feb. The kid had the hardest life of anyone I've ever known. He was takin from his mother and hid until he was 13 years old, in that time his father made him buy drugs, beat him into a gang, and then had to take care of his sick father and sister. Never giving up on finding his mother or the rest of his family. The poor kid had been throgh so much by the time he was killed at 17 years old. When we finally found him, all those years of being told WE didn't love him and wanted nothing to do with them, he was confused but still gave us a chance to prove we did. I've learned so much from him, even after his death. I look at life so differently now and when things get really bad, I think about Ricky and all the things he went through, things that he'll never experience....him getting married, his daughters first day of school, dances, her growing up, her getting married. Just life experiences. He taught me to never take a single second for granted, life is always worse for someone else, to give everyone a chance, just because someone looks different or wears something different doesn't mean they are bad people, not all gang members are bad just mislead and always let the people around you know how much they mean to you. He may have only been 17, but I think he has taught me more in a very short time than anyone else I know. I miss ya so much Ricky.
V-day is always gonna be hard for me now, it'll be 1 year this year that we buried my nephew. It really sucks but I'll prolly go to the cemetary that day. It's never been a very important day any way, so just another day.
I say a drinker never lies, usaully when a person is drinking or drunk they don't realize what's coming out of their mouth, so my thought is she already made the first move without even knowing it. GO FOR IT DUDE !!!!!
Sixth grade was one of my funnest years, lol One of our teachers had a baby so we had a sub for most of that year. Of course we all hated her so we drove her crazy every single day. Some one always started something, she'd turn toward the chalk board and we'd all start tapping one right after the other or one person would stand up and everyone else would follow suit one right after the other. There was snake skins involved, honey on her seat, we'd all start coughing or clearing our throats, anything to make her leave. After so long, she really was commited. I remember the principle coming in and taking over and telling us that she had been takin to the hospital. At the time it was funny as hell. Looking back on it, that was pretty mean. The guys were worse about it than us girls, but it was sixth grade that's what you do.
I've discovered that most men like thicker girls. In my day it was all about bein skinny, now it's sooooo different. Guys won't date me because of my size, I always hear you're so much fun but you're not my type cuz you're to skinny. I believe it's about how you feel about yourself. If ya throw off negative vibes that's what ya get.
When I was diagnosed 20 years ago it was called Manic depressive order. I was put in the hospital for damn near a month for a suicide attempt. It doesn't matter what ppl say to you at that point in time, you don't hear them or see them. I told the docs there was nothing wrong with me, I was just depressed and wanted more than anything to die, to quit hurting the ppl that I loved so much. Like I said before you CAN NOT understand if you've never experienced clinical depression. We can tell you till we're blue in the face, try to explain, but you'll not really ever understand. Meds. can change a person, I'll agree with ya there. I've hated myself for along time because of different meds. I've been on. But sometimes it's deal with the meds. or not have that person in you're life at all. The only thing I've ever asked is that if you don't understand it, then try to get info on it, read about it and when someone close to you is going through it, don't judge and jury. That doesn't help, it makes the situation so much worse. Ya already feel bad enough. Instead of backing away because you don't understand, hold on tighter, talking is hard, but do it any way, get them out into the world, make them laugh, after all laughter can be the best medicine. Even if they don't wanna go, try bringin life to them.
Would love to exercise except I have to many other health problems too and my doc will not allow it. I can do simple things but nothing cardio, so I do what I can and try to live the best way I know how...one second at a time sometimes, more if I can handle it. It really is a never ending battle for me, every day is a new day though. I won't allow them to use me as a test dummy anymore. They come out with new drugs every day and say hey try this one it's great, yeah right. My meds. have been changed so many times over the years, it takes so much more than meds. Ppls understanding, therapy and your way of thinking is a big part of it. When you fall into the BLACK HOLE, it's very difficult to get out and for me there are alot of other things that go along with the bi-polor, my list goes on forever, but I try not to dwell on that and try very hard to stay possitive. It's not always easy, especially when there are 2 of you in the same house having issues at the same time, but you have to make life what you want. There was a time, a few years ago that I couldn't go out of the house, I couldn't look at ppl, talk to anyone, I was scared to death of everything and every one. I stayed in the house for almost 2 years with the curtains, blinds and blankets on the windows afraid. I look back on that time now and wonder what I was so scared of, but it was because I was so sick. Now I'm totally different, now I like me and I'm not so afraid to live.
I'm bi-polor, I got it from my father and passed it to my daughter. It's a horrible thing to have to deal with every day of your life and yes bad things are huge to a person with depression or bi-polor, but bi-polor is a little different because the good some times is just as bad. My mood swings are horrible, when I'm depressed it's like a black hole I can't get out of. When I'm happy I could take the world on and not get hurt....only in my mind though. There are many different levels to it also. Mine is the middle, I become suicidal very quick, my daughter on the other hand is a cutter. When her stress level goes up she cuts to make herself feel better. This is something you can only really understand if you have it or have been through the real thing. You CAN NOT just get over it or pull yourself out of it. I've been dealing with this for more than 20 years, hospitalized more than 2 dozen times, tried many different ways to kill myself, seen many docs and therapist, you name the meds. been there done that. What works for one doesn't always work for the next and sometimes doesn't work for very long on yourself. The things that keep me sane most of the time are my kids, grandkids and my friends. Changing my way of thinking has helped too, before my feet hit the floor in the morning I tell myself today is going to be great. LOL It doesn't always work but for the most part it helps me start my day off in a possitive way.
Queen for the day.....Maid service, breakfast in bed, massage, lifted, tucked, sucked and butt inplants. Gotta have one of those Ford GT'S....badass !!!!!! Geeezes what else, think that's it for now, lol.
Dying does not scare me, leaving the ppl that I love scares me. I'm scares that my nephew never knew how much he was loved before he passed. I don't want anyone to ever not know how I feel about them. You never know what tomorrow will bring, so I love with everything in me every second of every day, making sure they know they are loved. I learned alot from his death, you can NEVER take anyone for granted. Live like it's your last, cuz it very well maybe, and be happy for that one second in time. Make the best out of all situations. You may never get another chance.
Congrats, glad the secret is out. Some really don't care about you being "ATTACHED" They still gotta try just in case ya know. Miss ya like crazy girl.
Baby names.....Eithen, Tyler, Chase, Trenton. I'd keep the middle name as Winds. Love ya girl.
Times up?????????????????? Bring it, lol Seriously if the girl makes you feel lots of pressure than it's not gonna work. I've been in this situation many times, my solution to it is stop trying so hard, relax and if it's gonna happen it will. Foreplay is good, but if ya feel pressured it's not gonna work, no matter what ya do and some times it's ok to have just foreplay and cuddle. My thoughts only.
I'm very upset and curious. I need to know why men freeze at the most inconvenant times. Get ya all hot and bothered, get ya undressed and then say sorry I can't, it's not you but you make me so nervous. I honestly don't think I did anything wrong, as a matter of fact I know I did everything right. He was all ready to go until it came down to it. My problem is he's not the first that this has happened too. And ppl wonder why I only date younger men.
Leavin a message just to say hey I'm thinkin about ya. Takin a walk holdin hands. Bein in a room full of ppl and cominover to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Racing across town just to spend my lunch hour with me. LOL I could go on forever.
I was married for 21 years and don't think I ever had true love. To me true love is unconditional, both good times and bad...you talk about things, work through things. These days it's so easy to get a divorce, easier than tryin to make it work. No it's not always gonna feel like butterflies in your stomach, but when you've been with someone so long and ya think about them and he still can make ya smile. When ya think about the rest of your life and can't see life without them. Knowing if ya get sick or are upset, worried, excited, happy, whatever, that person will feel those same things with you. That's what it is to me.
Ohio, I'm in the same boat. All I seem to get is the guys that are only the ones that want in my pants.....over that. I know exactly what ya mean about bein ready for somethin more. What I'm lookin for everybody laughs at, but it's ok cuz it's what I need and want. Hopefully someday we'll both find exactly what we need and want.
How do you trust after ya tell me your married How do you love when ya know it will never be How do you live knowing your not worth it Please just tell me how
openhonest Forum Posts (182)
RE: one question
lol Where in the world is Carmen San deigo?