In this life I'm a woman. In my next, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for 6 months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate you are expected to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too. When you're a girl bear you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping, and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that. If you're Mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line you swat them too. I could deal with that. If you're a bear your mate expects you to wake up growling. He expects that you will have hairy legs, and excess body fat.
I get at least 6 of those every day. These people in the African countries must hold all the wealth in the world! Just mark them as phishing scams, and don't even open them.
I know this is off thread, but all seems to have gone quiet for the moment! I forgot to say that I like your new profile photo, it makes you look so young and pretty (from an ex Accy girl lol.)
The OP is not being dishonest! I've just checked out his profile and it states quite clearly ' retired/disabled', so what is your problem? Stop bashing the guy, he actually sounds like a very nice person. If you want to say something then please do so, but in a more kindly way.
Here in Tenerife there are quite a few Indian & Pakistani people, and some of those are friends of ours. I find that they use the term 'dear' as some English people call each other 'love' or 'duck' or 'hen' purely as a friendly saying. Forgive me if I am wrong but surely it is simply a custom, and not an insult.
I got this from a friend of mine & thought I should share it with you all.
How to protect your e-mail address book
I learned a computer trick today that's really ingenious in its simplicity. As you may know, when/if a worm virus gets into your computer it heads straight for your email address book, and sends itself to everyone in there, thus infecting all your friends and associates. This trick won't keep the virus from getting into your computer, but it will stop it from using your address book to spread further, and it will alert you to the fact that the worm has gotten into your system.
Here's what you do:
First, open your address book and click on 'new contact,' just as you would do if you were adding a new friend to your list of email addresses. In the window where you would type your friend's first name, type in 'A'. For the screen name or email address,
type AAAAAAA@AAA.AAA
Now, here's what you've done and why it works: The 'name 'A' will be placed at the top of your address book as entry #1. This will be where the worm will start in an effort to send itself to all your friends. When it tries to send itself to AAAAAAA@AAA.AAA, it will be undeliverable because of the phony email address you entered. If the first attempt fails (which it will because of the phony address), the worm goes no further and your friends will not be infected.
Here's the second great advantage of this method:
If an email cannot be delivered, you will be notified of this in your In Box almost immediately. Hence, if you ever get an email telling you that an email addressed to
AAAAAAA@AAA.AAA could not be delivered,
you know right away that you have the worm virus in your system. You can then take steps to get rid of it! Pretty slick huh? If everybody you know does this then you need not ever worry about opening mail from friends.
Then let me be the first to welcome you to CS. Everyone makes fun of and joking with each other here. But I have found them to be a great bunch. Just join in the forums and you will get to know things that are currently being talked about. Enjoy, and I hope you meet some lovely people. Just be careful of any strange messages you get. You will find that you may be contacted by 'young boys' from far away-just block them, don't even acknowledge them. Read the section about scammers.
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"
"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"
:quote: Finally, five hours later with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says to the other, "I can't take this anymore. I give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees out here. Let's just pick one whether it's decorated or not!" :quote:
A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO, WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE'S A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, WHO BELONGS IN ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE W ILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN, WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE'S A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE - I SPEAK BLONDE."
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY..
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO
My friend just e-mailed me this so I thought I'd share it (notice it is in Jokes & Humour)
I remember the time I lived in Norway. It didn't seem so cold then. Perhaps I am getting old. The heat thins your blood. In the summer we have up to 40c and we all complain about the heat !!
Thank you Eaglewoman. I am just so tired of Tenerife. It is a typical tourist island and you get to meet so few people here. Even the English people that live here are constantly on the move and so very shallow-all seem to be running from something! There is so little culture here, unless you are prepared to drive an hour to Santa Cruz, which cuts out the possibility of dinner and a glass or two of wine! I was debating whether to move to the peninsula and commute to UK. I am into property, and so do not really need to be in UK permanently. I suppose it is just as easy to commute from Madrid when necessary. Living on a volcano gives you island sickness! My parents are both dead now so I have no reason to stay here, and want to meet more people and do something rather than just passing my time going to the gym and pilates. Oh dear, don't I sound depressing.
I am seriously considering moving to the UK. I haven't been there for 19 yrs and would like some advice. Any suggestions on good areas to live; i.e low crime rates, jobs, housing etc. My daughter is a model so will probably find it easy to get work, and my son-in law is in security and speaks 4 languages, he's also rapidly learning English. I'm not so sure about coping with the weather there, but will probably come home for the winter (it's 18c here this evening and am wearing a sweater, & feel cold!) Would be nice to hear your suggestions.
Isn't that wonderful news. Something great to read at last. (Perhaps this is the answer to some of the negative threads we have all been answering the last few days.) Congratulations and best wishes for a wonderful life together. Here is an engagement gift.
gannieaw Forum Posts (91)
My friend just e-mailed me this so I thought I'd share it (notice it is in Jokes & Humour)
though as Freddy says it could be worth a try
Any Timeshare people on CS?
How many people on this site are involved in Timeshare - reps/TOs/ etc.Would love to hear from you. 3rd party stories, your resort, your experiences.