Gummycola Forum Posts (13)

RE: TRUE.COM

Read the fine print . . . . free to post a profile, free to contact a member (but only via a wink or some non-message). Then there are costs to actually send a message or reply to one.

True and Mate have so many scam sides. True's "free to chat" at $ 6.99/mt (I disputed it and got a credit) and Mate's "ambassadors" that just try to get you to pay their sub (so they get a commission).

Free to join, but then your profile is used to lure other non-members, as well as yourself, to actually contact the other member.

However, such sites have their use, but only if the members are creative in their user names or how they word their profiles. Sadly, some are not creative to do that to enable outside contact.

RE: A end to the first part of my life...

Wow, and congrats.

So its . . . . actually will be today, the 15th. Glad to see you back to share the great news.

Sounds like you'll have a very merry, and married, Christmas.

Jamie

RE: I need your advice- What would you buy a new boyfriend for Christmas?

How about an Oregon state park pass? Quite a few parks to enjoy the scenery in.

Some steaks or chicken, with seasoning, for a BBQ?

Can't go wrong with Gift Certificates . . . . now finding the proper source may be a challenge (as it may not be a store gift certificate).

Jamie

RE: Tell me your version of a romantic night and encounter

After a meeting and a few dates, once you get to know the person and their desires . . . .

. . . . make her wish come true, or at least a part of it, and blend in a few surprises with soft music and dance the night away.

I like how you described your night dogrule, which sounds like the one of many happy ones.

On a more personal side, I'd envision a nice picnic basket and mp3 player with speakers and a late afternoon walk on the beach. Gather some wood then eat and talk and watch the sunset. Start a fire and enjoy marshmellows and glasses of desert wine (I like Raspberry).

Then go to the nearby secluded area where the tent is, facing east, to wake to the sunrise. May need to take a nap after that sunrise though.

Jamie

RE: how do you get to know

Subject matter and spatial consistency.

Opps. How about asking a variety of questions and sharing thoughts and hopes and parts of pasts . . . . topics that seem to flow as you get to know the other.

Take the multimedia approach - IMs, e-mails, pictures, webcam, and phone calls. Don't need to feed the info into a computer to analyze it, but should be able to discern anything that sounds wrong.

Also, consider the advantages of other sites and quizzes. They have compatibility tools which may prove useful.

Generally, it takes quality time and creative ways to overcome (as I saw on a profile) the "distance dragon."

Jamie

RE: How long do you............

When the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.

Opps, wrong movie, but mostly true.

It really depends on the quality of the communications. I spent a year in e-mails, IMs, and phone calls before flying to Michigan. I'd wish I had my webcam then for that visual component. At some point the talks reach a point where need to take the next step, and has to be mutual.

Some of it is in the timing, certainly for the cost.

I know it really can't be 3 months, but it all depends on the possibilities and, hopefully, it they can become realities.

But also know, some aspects need that physical contact - body language and voice tone and just watching. It takes time and levels to know another person.

Alas it didn't last past a few months.

Jamie

RE: Anyother nightowls ...

Only nearing 2 am here in Oregon, and am definately not a morning person.

Of course have Thursdays off.

Jamie

RE: Candles.......

Pumpkin spice on my candle warmer (but thinking of just digging the wick and light it).

Cinnamon apple is a close second though, or Oatmeal cookie scent (got that from Wal-mart).

Jamie

RE: what season do you most think about having a LTR?

Does it really matter for that long part of LTR?

I think each season has its advantages for shared activities, weather a nice hike in fall, a winter's drive, a walk as spring awakens life, or a nice summer swim.

RE: special things for first date??

Pleasure or pain? Well also useful just to tie up and really have a "conversation."

Oh, myself . . . . hmmm yeah I agree I'd try to be myself, but it wouldn't hurt to have a bouquet of flowers. You know, "Look for me in a blue shirt, blonde hair, glasses . . . . oh yeah, and carrying some roses."

At least she'll identify me by the roses. It all depends on that first date, but can't go wrong with flowers unless she is allergic.

Jamie

RE: name 5 things you must do before you leave this planet ? ? ? ? ?

Well, it's my hope I won't be leaving this planet Earth except for possibly a brief dirt nap before it's restored.

Before that, though . . . .

1. Strive for a healthier life

2. Be in a meaningful relationship

3. Be financially secure

4. Travel the coast on a small sailing boat

5. All of the above on my small sailing boat

RE: Dating new guy- help

"I started dating this new guy, he's local in my town. . . . I like him, have fun with him but not desirous of him."

and

"Its just that I feel I have to hold the conversation up as he is quiet and doesnt have much to say. I think I would like to be with someone who has more life experiences than him to talk about. I find I run out of things to say. Otherwise he is really nice and gets my engine going."
- - - -

It sounds like he is just shy or unpracticed in maintaining a good conversation. Try to spark topics he is interested in, such as places he wants to visit, the local sights, etc.. He must have some interests - hobbies, local hang outs, etc. Ask him to show you his "side" of Bend and when you feel comfortable, do join him for the BBQ at his place (where he may be more relaxed and willing to talk . . . . he may be a BBQ pro).



"but I feel he is settling with me cause I am chubby . . . ."

Don't think that. Instead, build up on that. As I remember you joined a gym, perhaps get him a visitor's pass and see how that goes.

I wish you well.

Jamie

RE: Guys! I need a guy's perspective!

So talking about a relationship that could have been going on 5 years, and sounds like has survived the shorter ones. Seems he is on the "buddy" path just over the phone while you want more . . . . and he skipped that beer.

Seems he is not ready to settle down or truely continue on with the relationship, or take it to the next step. Ask him why. Just as you added a few lbs, so he may have too (as another posted) or has his own baggage. Something is holding him back, but he won't talk about it.

Good luck.

Jamie